When would you leave your baby to go abroad?

[arsol]

I'm a bridesmaid at a wedding next year and the plan is to go abroad. I won't be going as my kids will be 3 and 12 months.

Which got me wondering what age people think is reasonable to go abroad without their kids? I thought most people like me would not want to leave a baby under 1, but then an influencer I follow has just left her 4 month old to go to a wedding abroad which made me wonder if I was being precious. The longest I've ever been apart from my 3 year old is 3 days and around 1.5 hours drive away.

Interested in views just out of interest really to see if I'm being over anxious.

@aSofaNearYou You don't understand how hurtful that comment is.

@Mummma9420 I'm autistic too. Ignore them x

🤷‍♀️ So is calling people incredibly selfish. People should own their shit.

Thank you, hope you don’t go through things like this as well ❤️

And I did. I explained and she continued. Leave us alone

I left DD with DH aged 2, for 5 days abroad. It was fine for her but I missed her! Felt a bit panicky about being a plane ride away but managed to rationalise it - if anything happened I'd just get the next flight back, I was in America so it would've been easy to get back at short notice.

I wouldn't want to go abroad without my kids.

And that's fine. But I was referring to the comment about kids feeling like they were missing out.

Oh please. You said it more than once, stood by it, eventually explained that you have no filter but did not apologise or say you didn't actually mean it (because you clearly did), and then started demanding everyone leave you alone like you're the one being picked on. You aren't. And as mentioned before, this is an online forum - you give an opinion, especially an offensive one you double down on, you are inviting responses. If you don't like that then it isn't a good hobby for you, it's hardly mandatory.

My eldest is 6 and I’m still not ready! We’ve had the odd night away but for me there’s something about being a plane journey away and not able to get back easily if needed that makes it a big fat nope. Husband would go in a heartbeat though 😂

I left my first child who was bottle fed at 4 months for a 3 day work trip abroad. i was really hesitant, but once i got on that plane i had zero regrets! it was the best sleep i had had in a long time lol

• Mummma9420 Never. Never ever. It’s incredibly selfish. The only time I will be doing so is if ExH has arranged to take DS on holiday anyway, otherwise, until my son has either moved out or says he doesn’t want to go on holidays anymore (which won’t be allowed until he’s 18 anyway as he won’t be staying home alone overnight before then) I will not go on any kind of holiday without him Another man child in the making , not be left overnight or allowed away until he's 18? jesus wept Attachment issues here

I personally wouldn’t leave an under 1 all day and all night whether local or abroad. I allowed my dd to start staying overnight with her dad around 15 months (we’re separated) and it felt too soon but I recognised that he was also her parent. I hated it.
Through choice I’d probably be ok for one overnight at 18 months - 2, and probably not much longer or abroad until maybe 3?

Depends when you feel comfortable. I’ve never spent a night away from my 3.5 year old and now we’re due another and I’m likely having to stay in for a couple of days the prospect of having to leave her overnight is causing me more stress than it’s worth. Probably regret not doing it earlier!

It depends on your kids and who can look after them. DH and I went away for 4 days when DD was 18 months. She stayed with my parents. They found her a bit unsettled, so the nights were harder than they expected but otherwise all fine. We wouldn’t have left DS at the same age, as he’d been quite poorly and unsettled through his first year and we wouldn’t have been confident to leave him with someone else. Kids are now 9&6 and although we’d be ok being away from them for a couple of days, my parents are no longer fit and well enough to manage more than a night so we’d struggle to do it. Definitely don’t judge yourself by the influencer. Think through for yourself what your kids need, how well someone else might manage with that and how much you want to.

As long as child/ren are with other parent or trusted family member, I would. I went to Paris fur 3 days with my mum and sister (they live in USA so couldn't just be any time) when my DS was 9 months old. All was fine.

Oh please. You said it more than once, stood by it, eventually explained that you have no filter but did not apologise or say you didn't actually mean it (because you clearly did), and then started demanding everyone leave you alone like you're the one being picked on. You aren't. And as mentioned before, this is an online forum - you give an opinion, especially an offensive one you double down on, you are inviting responses. If you don't like that then it isn't a good hobby for you, it's hardly mandatory..

Exactly. When I specifically asked if I was being selfish by leaving my child to go abroad I was told I was. Apparently that's okay but objecting to being called selfish means I'm attacking them 🙄

I went when my oldest was 14 and youngest 12 - for 3 nights, they were with their Dad my husband, thats the first and only time abroad so far 😀

Sorry I didn't mean it to sound nasty I was just genuinely surprised as lots of children go off to uni or travelling at 18 and I can't imagine anything worse than being with a grumpy 17 year old on holiday!

I would never go abroad while my children are still children, not ever.

I wouldn’t want to, just in case something bad happened and I couldn’t get home quickly enough. I know that’s dramatic but I’d just worry the whole time. Otherwise, I think maybe it’s best when the child is able to understand time properly, ie they know how long 2, 4, 5 days etc is exactly

Any particular reason? Or just don't want to? Would you go abroad with your children?

I went to a wedding in Turkey when my daughter was about 18 months old. She was at home with her dad. It wasn’t a big deal.

Mine are now 7 and 4. I left my first at 18 months old to go abroad for 3 nights. Since that Iv left them both to go to a wedding abroad, have a few nights away in Greece with my husband for our anniversary, once for a girls holiday for 5 nights and once for a hen weekend for 3 nights. They’ve either stayed with their dad or grandparents. Everyone has been fine. Iv had a good time. I don’t see it as an issue at all, my husband has time away to do what he wants too. I don’t tend to go out much and they are my life otherwise and they know it

Presume the child/ren ate with their Dad. If so what's the issue? If they left alone in an empty house then it would be a different matter

This is how I feel as well. My son is nearly 6 and I’ve never been away overnight and no way could I be in a different country. I went through a lot to have him and want to be with him as much as I can.

@Dogdaywoes I would hate being away from them so pointless and I would want to be able to be there in an instant if something happened like illness or even a and e. I could never risk not being there for stuff like that. I want to take the kids to Disney land when they are older.