When would you leave your baby to go abroad?

[arsol]

I'm a bridesmaid at a wedding next year and the plan is to go abroad. I won't be going as my kids will be 3 and 12 months.

Which got me wondering what age people think is reasonable to go abroad without their kids? I thought most people like me would not want to leave a baby under 1, but then an influencer I follow has just left her 4 month old to go to a wedding abroad which made me wonder if I was being precious. The longest I've ever been apart from my 3 year old is 3 days and around 1.5 hours drive away.

Interested in views just out of interest really to see if I'm being over anxious.

Will be going for a 4 night trip to a wedding abroad when DD is almost 2, she is 15 months now. Would've went before that age if circumstances had allowed. We've had a few overnight breaks away of 1 or 2 nights, but not gone abroad yet. She stays with grandparents when we are away and is very well looked after.

Why is it horrible? The child wasn’t left on their own to fend for themselves!
In many cultures family is not just children and parents. I for one trust my mum 100% and had no issues letting her look after my children. My parents leave abroad and my kids regularly spend summers over there. They are 15 and 10 now and love their grandparents and have great bond with them.

I have to travel for work but was very lucky ( in a way) that DD was born during Covid so I didn't start travelling again until she was nearly 2. I generally travel anything from 3-5 days every 3 months or so. DH does a fabulous job with her and I think it does a lot to strengthen their bond. She's taken it all in her stride and we just explained that mummy was going away on a trip but that she always comes back. She's always super happy to see me when I get back but really chilled when I'm not there.

@Trakand01 parents should be capable of raising their children themselves without handing them to grandparents half the year

@RandalsAunty its well documented that babies should be with their primary caregivers for their well-being and development. Not handed over to other relatives. So very sad that many parents dislike their young children so much they will go on holiday without them.

Utter generalisation rubbish. My children stayed with my parents for extended periods at a very young age. 12 weeks in the case of youngest.

Result? A fabulous relationship that money couldn't buy. They dote on each other, particularly DS, now 17, with my mum.

@Midwinter91 you started your family with a chosen partner. When your children are all grown up and gone on to live their own lives, you will be back spending the majority of your time with that same person. It is very important to nourish that relationship as you raise children and if that's a holiday now and then on your own then so be it! Same can be said for keeping other relationships and friendships in your life! Yes my children's relationship with me is most important but not at the cost of every other person I enjoy spending time with in my life! A dislike for our children? How very judgemental of you. Horrible!

How leaving a child couple times a year with grandparents are going to prevent me from bonding with my child and affect their development and wellbeing? No one on MN is talking about abandoning their babies every other day. I think it’s better for parents wellbeing to be able to spend some time away from the child if they feel the need.

My children having spent few weeks with my parents in a different country every summer are now more independent - never had any anxieties, love adventures and actually speak 2nd language. So how did that negatively affected their development?

I think you need to go back and read the literature again 🙄

Do you genuinely believe that parents who go away on short breaks, leaving their children with grandparents, don't like those children? How ridiculous!
What about parents who work away?

Well said 👏👏👏

I am guessing you have a young baby. Come back in a year or two and you might be regretting not letting them get used to others when you need a break. No need to be a mummy martyr about it.

I would have gone abroad without them from about 2 but only because of breastfeeding and mucking up my supply. If I hadn't been breastfeeding probably from 12 months.

I stayed with my Nana every Wednesday night from tiny and stayed frequently for weekends. Most of my happiest memories as a child are staying at Nans house.

If you want to attach your baby to your hip then sure do that but to claim other mothers don't love their children don't like their children because they spend the occasional few days away is the most sanctimonious nonsense ever. Get over your self.

I stayed with my Nana every Wednesday night from tiny and stayed frequently for weekends. Most of my happiest memories as a child are staying at Nans house.

This is mine and my husband's experience.
Staying at your Nana's is what you did from a very young age.