When would you leave your baby to go abroad?

[arsol]

I'm a bridesmaid at a wedding next year and the plan is to go abroad. I won't be going as my kids will be 3 and 12 months.

Which got me wondering what age people think is reasonable to go abroad without their kids? I thought most people like me would not want to leave a baby under 1, but then an influencer I follow has just left her 4 month old to go to a wedding abroad which made me wonder if I was being precious. The longest I've ever been apart from my 3 year old is 3 days and around 1.5 hours drive away.

Interested in views just out of interest really to see if I'm being over anxious.

Mm, tough one. My son is just about two and I’ve only ever left him once and that was last week for one night… and that was only to London 😂 I couldn’t go abroad and leave him yet, that’s for sure. I might maybe if it was just me going and DH staying with him but to be honest, we haven’t the money for loads of holidays so any holiday would want to be a family one really. I hate being away from him and really hate thinking that he would be missing me or wanting me and not quite able to understand why I wasn’t there.
No judgement on anyone who does things any differently though! Each to their ownZ

I went abroad for a marathon when DC was 4.

Felt shit doing it though and barring unavoidable work day trips to European cities I haven't left them since.

There is 10 years between our eldest daughter and the three youngest she is 16 now and I still have never been abroad with her even let alone my others 1,3 and 6 and there have been many of opportunities presented in the last 16 years but for me it’s just the what ifs, and one actually happened and literally in another country

I would go but only for a few days/a long weekend. I do think you need to have your own life and I used to do short trips away with friends when mine were little - but that being said, it was only when my now-14-year-old went on the school ski trip for a week this year that I realised it's the longest we've ever been apart from each other!

I breastfed all of mine so I probably wouldn’t have left them alone before they were weaned and happy with a bottle, probably anytime after a year.

DH and I are going away next year for 3 nights to Majorca. Our youngest will be almost 7 by then and it will be the first time going abroad without them for me. DH did go to a wedding in Spain for 3 nights when youngest was 10 months. I'm sure he didn't agonise over the decision other than thinking of the impact on me. His time away coincided with my first week back at work full time after mat leave.

If you want to go and feel comfortable going then I don't see an issue. It's a very personal decision.

My DS is 4 and I would be comfortable leaving him now, but not before this age. He would have been fine, but I didn't want that much time away from him.

My son is almost 12 months old and breastfed still, I wouldn't leave him. I leave him to go to work during the day 3 days a week but he stays with my wife. I wouldn't leave the country as he needs me and I don't want to leave him. He's too young. . My daughter is 5 and I wouldn't leave her unless an emergency. I had four days away from her in hospital when our daughter died and she still talks abiut me being away now, two years on.. I'd leave her if I absolutely had to but only if she was with my wife. If I was asked to be bridesmaid abroad, preferably I'd only go with my children, certainly our youngest but each to their own....

I had to leave DS age 4 and DS age 1 when in hospital and it was the hardest thing. I would NEVER leave them again from choice. Certainly not for a wedding or something similar. I need them as much as they need me and NOTHING is more important than that.

I went away for the first time this year…. They were 4 and 8 years. I’ve been away from them in the UK before.
i probably would have been happy to do it the year before but I didn’t have the opportunity.

Never

I haven’t been abroad on my own since DC1 was born 3.5yrs ago.

What are you going to do when they grow up and they don't need you anymore?

We went to New York for OH 40th. 4 days/3 nights.
The kids were 3 and 10months.

We never get a break normally as we don’t have any family close by so it was lovely to have some alone time.

A relative left her 2 month old to fly to the US for 3 days. I wouldn’t have felt ok to do so by this age.

I think whenever you feel comfortable to do so is the right time.

I'd take the husband and the baby so I had opportunity to enjoy a day/night off for the wedding but a nice holiday too...
But I'd leave my 7mth with Dad at home for a few days comfortably too- I think nights away hit different when you're used to working away

I honestly don't know. My eldest is 5, youngest is 6 months. I've never left my eldest to go abroad and still wouldn't now even if I didn't have my baby too. I am anxious and I'm aware of that... my worry is always what if something happened and I couldn't get back?

I’ve only ever spent a night away from my kids through hospitalisation. Don’t want to be away from them, they don’t have grandparents either side. When they are all over the age of 8 I’d consider it but never abroad.

Mine are 9 and 11, and I've still not been abroad without them. Definitely wouldn't have wanted to leave them as a toddler. In fact the husband and I gave never even gone away overnight in the UK together without the kids. I think as much as anything that is that because my Mum turned 70 a couple of months after I had my first and then was widowed within weeks of our youngest being born, which aged her a lot. It's never really been a viable option to leave the kids for a long period of time with her. She does babysit occasionally as they are fairly low maintenance these days, but we are always here to sort them out when they get up the next morning. An evening is long enough for her. The in-laws live overseas and speak a different language to the kids, so they've never been an option for overnight stays either.

Leaving a 10 month old to go away with just your Husband is horrible I mean why have a baby

Why is it horrible? Providing they are properly cared for?

I'd never go abroad without my children. It would have to be a life or death situation to even consider it. I travelled a lot before getting pregnant and there is nothing out there that I'd want to do more than hanging out with my family. It's not a judgement, some people have jobs that demand it or maybe for some, there is something out there that they want to do. Each to their own, but you wouldn't be alone if you take a hard-no approach.

TBH for a wedding I don't understand why the kids aren't invited? Were the wedding party really expecting you to leave your children at home while you left the country?

Our daughter gets quality time with her grandparents which is essential in our view. A family is much wider than just Mum and Dad. She gets two additional family holidays a year minimum with us and we get to do something that means a lot to us that she’s not physically capable of doing at present. She’s 8 now and has gone every year. They take her out or give her an experience almost every day while she’s with them and she has a blast. She has the same strong relationship with her grandparents that I had, and regularly stays at their house out of choice to spend time with them. Such a shame when grandparents are relegated to an hour here or there with their grandchildren, and always under supervision as though they’ve never handled kids before.

Oh, and he’s not my husband (I never said he was, nice assumption you made there), he’s my partner if 20 years but I’m sure that doesn’t fit your model of ‘how families should behave’ either.

TBH for a wedding I don't understand why the kids aren't invited? Were the wedding party really expecting you to leave your children at home while you left the country?

It's not that unusual. The first time we left DS was to attend a wedding abroad. We had a choice and could have said no.....
If someone wants a child free wedding then that's their choice 🤷🏼‍♀️

I also think it's hilarious that someone is genuinely questioning why someone has chosen to have baby if they're going to do things without them 😂😂