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Parenting

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Original poster

When would you leave your baby to go abroad?

289 replies

arsol · 26/10/2023 09:56

I'm a bridesmaid at a wedding next year and the plan is to go abroad. I won't be going as my kids will be 3 and 12 months.

Which got me wondering what age people think is reasonable to go abroad without their kids? I thought most people like me would not want to leave a baby under 1, but then an influencer I follow has just left her 4 month old to go to a wedding abroad which made me wonder if I was being precious. The longest I've ever been apart from my 3 year old is 3 days and around 1.5 hours drive away.

Interested in views just out of interest really to see if I'm being over anxious.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

xyz111 · 26/10/2023 11:54

I went abroad for my friends wedding when my DS was 11 months. I hated every minute of it. I felt the worst mum in the world, so much guilt that he might think I'd abandoned him etc. now I look back on it and thought I was being silly! He had a great time with his Nan, I face timed a couple of times a day. He really didn't care. But then he's a very easy going child. If I had a child who was super clingy, then it might be different.

AlltheFs · 26/10/2023 11:55

I have never left my 4 year old to go away abroad. I have done a couple of
overnights in the UK for work only.

I don’t think I would do it at all abroad for leisure (work trip if I had to). I just don’t want to.

I suppose I might feel differently when she is older. But right now I can’t imagine choosing to go away without her.

Doveyouknow · 26/10/2023 11:56

For DH it was about 4 months when he went away for work. For me about 18 months for a weekend with friends. I didn't see it as a big deal as he was with his dad.

Interested in this thread?

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3 year olds 3-6 months old Babies & sleep Families

BitofaStramash · 26/10/2023 11:57

I left my 2 year old with grandparents for a 10 day holiday with DH.

MintJulia · 26/10/2023 11:59

I wouldn't.

My ds is 15 and he's come with me every time I've travelled abroad. He's been on holiday with his dad and abroad a few times with school.

When he is away I usually take the chance to relax, muck out his room, redecorate etc.

FoxtrotSkarloey · 26/10/2023 12:04

It not being precious to do what you are comfortable with.

I was happy to go for a long weekend away a short plane ride away when DC was nine months old.

I would go more often and for longer but don't have anyone to babysit!

To those worrying about disasters: I've been stuck on a weekend away when DH had to go into hospital and that was in the UK! Ironically had we been abroad travel insurance would have repatriated him immediately but as we were in the UK and his treatment was on the NHS so we just had to wait it out, they didn't want to know!

Ostryga · 26/10/2023 12:07

I wouldn’t go abroad without Dd. I wouldn’t want to be a plane journey away if anything happened. I have been on weekends away, but in the U.K.

MamaToABeautifulBoy · 26/10/2023 12:08

I wouldn’t leave my baby full stop. If I go overseas, bar work, it will be with my DH and my son. I cannot imagine anything so important that I would want to spend my free time away from them. I would miss my baby waaaaaaay too much! I don’t judge people who do leave their babies, but, it’s just a hard ‘no’ from me. DH wouldn’t leave him either.

EmeraldTheSeahorse · 26/10/2023 12:09

Never have and my oldest are teens now

cheezncrackers · 26/10/2023 12:10

Agreed - it's just personal preference - there isn't right and wrong. Obviously, if you're BF it's much harder to go away until baby is weaned, but if bottle fed you could go away sooner if you wanted to. The first time I went abroad without my older DC he was 2. I left him with my DM and we were only gone one night (Sat morning to Sun eve). I have friends who had to go on business trips though once they were back at work and they really didn't have a choice.

FFSWhatToDoNow · 26/10/2023 12:14

Influencer is just another name for a salesperson.

if you don’t like what they are selling, move on!

AndyPandyismyhero · 26/10/2023 12:30

I left my DC1 for 5 days to go abroad when they were 3 months old. My parents moved in to take care of DC1 and to be honest, DC1 was at an age where they didn't care who fed them or changed their nappi, as long as someone did. It would have been much harder to leave them if they had been old enough to know we weren't there. The only other time we left DC was when I was in hospital when I had dc2.

usernotfound0000 · 26/10/2023 12:34

I left DC for 3 nights at 7 months for a hen do. They were with DH though. I've only recently left them with grandparents for longer a night and youngest is now 5.

TeenLifeMum · 26/10/2023 12:36

I did this in 2022 - dc ages 14 and 11.

SoftSheen · 26/10/2023 12:39

Personally I'd never leave a baby or young child to go abroad. DH did and still does lots of overseas travel, and he had a work trip when DS was only 10 days old. However, I was/am the main carer. Now my children are 12 and 8 I probably would leave them if I had good reason to, however the need hasn't arisen.

Paddleboarder · 26/10/2023 12:42

I didn't do that until my son was 16 and even then it was only because he didn't want to come!

However, I don't think there is anything wrong in doing it. I'm personally not that interested in other people's weddings so I'd probably say no, but it's fine if you want to go.

RampantIvy · 26/10/2023 12:47

but then an influencer I follow

Sorry, but you lost me at this ^^
Do what you feel is right for you, not what some silly airhead "influencer" does.

shivawn · 26/10/2023 12:54

My son has just turned 2 and I probably would be comfortable leaving him with grandparents now if I had a good enough reason but I don't really feel the need to go book a childfree holiday just for the sake of it. My parents have previously had him overnight a couple times when I'm working nightshifts and my husband is away but I've always been a 10 minute drive away.

I have friends who've booked holidays away for 4 or nights when their child was very young (maybe around 6 months), that worked well for them but I wouldn't have been comfortable with it. Even if I was comfortable with going away I wouldn't have been comfortable asking my parents to mind a baby who woke up multiple times a night.

InTheRainOnATrain · 26/10/2023 12:57

I went to a hen abroad when DD was 12 weeks. But I don’t really count that as she was with DH! Both of us going abroad was when she was 6 months and she stayed with GPs.

dicedicebaby · 26/10/2023 12:58

I went away without my youngest at about 18 months - my mum came and stayed at our house and they were used to seeing her every day anyway. I don't think they missed me at all!

ElaineMBenes · 26/10/2023 12:59

I wouldn’t leave my baby full stop. If I go overseas, bar work, it will be with my DH and my son. I cannot imagine anything so important that I would want to spend my free time away from them.

Do you not go out or away with friends?

ColleenDonaghy · 26/10/2023 13:06

There's no right or wrong age, just what you're comfortable with.

I've friends who went away for a week during her maternity leave leaving the baby behind. Zero judgement (and a smattering of jealousy that they had the option ) but mine are 5 and 3 now and I don't know if I'd feel right about going away with DH yet. One of us away, fine, both of us away together in driving distance, fine, but I'm still not mad on the idea of being a plane trip away.

nobleisle · 26/10/2023 13:07

I left my 10 month old with my sister while me and DH went to Copenhagen for the weekend. Was lovely for all of us!

theveryhungrybum · 26/10/2023 13:08

I've been overseas twice since my children were born. The first time, the oldest was 11, youngest was 6 and the Grandparents moved in to look after them. The second time, oldest was 15, youngest 10 and my BIL moved in to look after them. Both times they had a great time and I coped surprisingly well with being that far away from them.

Libmama · 26/10/2023 13:13

I wouldn’t any time soon and mine are 9,5 and 10 months. I’d miss them all too much. Happy to go away for a weekend in the UK once baby has finished breast feeding but I’d never want to be so far away I couldn’t get home the same day incase of an emergency

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