When would you leave your baby to go abroad?

[arsol]

I'm a bridesmaid at a wedding next year and the plan is to go abroad. I won't be going as my kids will be 3 and 12 months.

Which got me wondering what age people think is reasonable to go abroad without their kids? I thought most people like me would not want to leave a baby under 1, but then an influencer I follow has just left her 4 month old to go to a wedding abroad which made me wonder if I was being precious. The longest I've ever been apart from my 3 year old is 3 days and around 1.5 hours drive away.

Interested in views just out of interest really to see if I'm being over anxious.

I don't think it's reasonable to go abroad with out your children at any age. (until they are old enough to be left home alone for the duration so 16-17). I never understood why people habe children then just dump them so they can go abroad.

I never understood why people habe children then just dump them so they can go abroad.

Are you for real?

You’ve obviously got a real issue with people not wanting to go away without their kids 😕 it’s allowed. Just stop the negativity on people’s opinions. You want to go away, that’s fine, but leave us who don’t want to alone

😂 seriously? You raise children every day for 18 years + yet all that is totally redundant and pointless if you aren't with them for a week?

I don’t remember dumping our DC’s - they’ve been all around the world on amazing family holidays but they have also stayed with grandparents and been totally spoiled and had a great time whilst DH and I have some holidays of our own.

Don't you think it's more likely that they have an issue with you calling people who do it selfish? You didn't say "I would feel selfish", you said "it is incredibly selfish". You invited those responses.

I really don't have an issue with it. You parent you children the way that suits you and your family.

I do have issue with judgemental people and people calling mums ( let's face it, nobody bats an eyelid when dads go away) selfish for daring to not dedicate every working moment to their children.

Don't put words in my mouth.

And I’ve explained that I’m ASD and didn’t think it through first and changed what I said and explained. Now back off

an influencer I follow has just left her 4 month old to go to a wedding abroad which made me wonder if I was being precious

I would stop following "influencers" if I were you, and make your own decisions.

Some idiot who leaves her baby in order to put doctored-up pictures of a party on social media is not someone whose views are worth a bean.

FWIW, I wouldn't have gone abroad without my children until they were 16+ (still haven't, and they're all 19+, but there are other reasons why I can't go now).

Fair enough.

No need to then get defensive and put words in my mouth. Just apologise and leave it rather than trying to make it into something it isn't.
It was unnecessary.

If they were with their other parent, then theoretically yes I’d leave a baby under one. I wouldn’t leave them with someone where there was a risk they’d be unsettled or anxious - which for both of mine would have been anyone other than my husband at that age.

In practice I was never asked to go anywhere abroad with children that young and this suited me very well. I’m not in any hurry to travel without them, they are now both pre-school age.

That's very different though. You only have your child part time. You already get a break.

I’m shocked by some responses! Posters saying they would never leave their child/children with their husbands (kids’ dads). This actually says a lot about you - you made rather bad choice if you don’t trust your child’s dad to look after them! It’s not a rocket science to look after even a young kid for few days (unless it’s breastfeed - dad or grandparents can’t do that 🤣).
Also, I think that children that never spend time away from their mum/home will have worse anxiety/separation issues when comes to going to school, they will never want to go on any trip or camp. I see that with my friends over and over again.

Will the kids be with their other parent? If so, go and enjoy yourself! If not, probably still go, but depends on how far it is. We both went away when ours were 3 and 9 or 10 months for 3 days. It was still in the UK, but 7 plus hours drive away.

I wouldn’t have done earlier than 6 months, because I had a big fear of cot death. Once that 6 month mark passed I was happy to have a night or 2 away!

This is in the past for me as DS now adult - but certainly he would have been allowed to go on a school trip abroad, had he wanted to .

A lot of this is around having appropriate family members to care for your child - we didn't (age/health/distance).

Incredibly selfish. In your opinion. Not in everyone’s.

I did weekends abroad when mine were under 12 months, but they were safe at home with my husband. I’d still feel weird about both of us being abroad without them, and they’re teenagers now!

My friend and her husband went to South Africa for a week (for a wedding) when their baby was about 5 months. No way I’d have done that. They’ve been away long haul without her several times since. I’m partly envious, partly judgy.

😂😂😂

Check out the hyperbole.

As she has already explained, she hasn’t got an issue with you not wanting to go away without your kids. She has an issue with you saying (maybe unintentionally, but we didn’t know that at the time) that it is incredibly selfish of people who do do it.

And I had already explained I am ASD and had worded it wrong and she continued. Please leave me alone

I would've happily left my girls with their dad from 6 months onwards to go abroad. He is probably a more competent parent than I am!

We don't have anyone to look after our girls (3 and 1.5) overnight so there's not much chance of us going abroad together anytime soon without them!

I wouldn't want to go abroad without my kids.

If you have such an issue with not accidentally insulting people when you don't actually mean it maybe online forums aren't for you, rather than getting angry at other people.

And perhaps when people have said they worded it wrong and have difficulties they should be left alone.