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Original poster

Mum rude about gifts for four year old…

419 replies

Okaaaay · 12/10/2023 22:31

I’ll caveat by saying I don’t like buying kids tatt and have been known to put funky socks in a party bag (along with sweets and other stuff). So maybe I’m getting this very wrong…

My DC was invited to a four year old girl’s party at a soft play. I gifted a Rachel Elin tin (bright, pink girly colours with my treasures or something written on it) and a kids rainbow Joules drawstring gym bag. My other DC would have loved this sort of thing when they were 4.

The recipient's Mum came up to me at nursery this aft and said ‘thanks for the gifts for xxx, they were a bit ‘out there’ (with hand gesture) for her but we’ll make use’. I was so stunned I just nodded and smiled.

So clearly, she was rude, but were my gifts super weird?

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user1493559472 · 15/10/2023 20:01

I think those gifts are lovely, very useful and not bits of plastic tat!!
The mother is very rude!!

T1Dmama · 16/10/2023 00:22

Okaaaay · 12/10/2023 22:45

Super lovely, thank you! Though agree, they probably don’t go together that well. The total cost was £13 which is about what I gift for parties which are at a venue (I always bulk buy gifts in sales and got the bag for £5 and the tin for £8).

I think the point of buying stuff in the sales is so that you can spend less not give double? Some parents might feel the need to spend £25 back on your DC without realising it only cost you £13

poppyseedy · 16/10/2023 07:40

T1Dmama · 16/10/2023 00:22

I think the point of buying stuff in the sales is so that you can spend less not give double? Some parents might feel the need to spend £25 back on your DC without realising it only cost you £13

Show quote history

Where is this list of rules?! People should just spend what they want to spend and not have to worry about what other people are going to think!
Lovely presents OP and the other mum sounds rude.

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4 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting
MarkWithaC · 16/10/2023 09:33

They're not 'out there' at all; Joules is totally mainstream. I also don't understand pps saying the bag is 'strange' Hmm or they 'don't go together'; is it essential that gifts do?
And I think a 4-year-old would use the bag; it's both fun and practical. It could absolutely be used day to day, and it's irrelevant whether they already have another one; it's entirely permissible to have and use more than one day-to-day bag!
But bottom line, this woman was a rude twat. I'd take her off the Xmas card list and be civil but cool to her in the future.

novalia89 · 16/10/2023 09:59

Okaaaay · 12/10/2023 22:31

I’ll caveat by saying I don’t like buying kids tatt and have been known to put funky socks in a party bag (along with sweets and other stuff). So maybe I’m getting this very wrong…

My DC was invited to a four year old girl’s party at a soft play. I gifted a Rachel Elin tin (bright, pink girly colours with my treasures or something written on it) and a kids rainbow Joules drawstring gym bag. My other DC would have loved this sort of thing when they were 4.

The recipient's Mum came up to me at nursery this aft and said ‘thanks for the gifts for xxx, they were a bit ‘out there’ (with hand gesture) for her but we’ll make use’. I was so stunned I just nodded and smiled.

So clearly, she was rude, but were my gifts super weird?

When I googled Rachel Elin it came up with Dr Rachel Elin Nolan, so a tin of her would be a bit out there. But the actual product, no way! What a weird parent! Even if it was out there!

Dr Rachel Elin Nolan

https://www.mmu.ac.uk/staff/profile/dr-rachel-elin-nolan

Fruitandclottedcream · 16/10/2023 12:22

I find them slightly "out there" gifts for a child you don't really know. But I would smile and say thank you if I recieved them... And then put them in my box of Christmas gifts for other kids.

For what it's worth there's nothing wrong with them as such. It's just not all four year olds would have use for them. I also find drawstring bags quite awkward as you can't adjust the straps. So if someone's DC is petite like mine was, the bag just drags and the parent ends up carrying it. However I've always been chuffed to receive traditional rucksacks 😅

StarlightLime · 16/10/2023 12:27

Fruitandclottedcream · 16/10/2023 12:22

I find them slightly "out there" gifts for a child you don't really know. But I would smile and say thank you if I recieved them... And then put them in my box of Christmas gifts for other kids.

For what it's worth there's nothing wrong with them as such. It's just not all four year olds would have use for them. I also find drawstring bags quite awkward as you can't adjust the straps. So if someone's DC is petite like mine was, the bag just drags and the parent ends up carrying it. However I've always been chuffed to receive traditional rucksacks 😅

So a rucksack wouldn't qualify as an "out there" gift for a 4 year old girl, but op's gifts would.
Ok.
Just as well we're all different...

Bacarach · 16/10/2023 13:18

Gosh I think they were lovely gifts, I'd have loved those as a 4 year old.
Tell her to get stuffed next time.

AegonT · 16/10/2023 15:45

I love that bag! My DD would love it now and would have loved it at 4, we could put one of her kits for a club in it or used it as a shiny new PE bag or when the current one got worn out. I would have been extra grateful for Joules.

Couldn't see the tin but DD loves a sparkly new box to but all her junk in just as much as the next child. Good for organising.

It might have come out wrong so I would continue to gift as before. I hate getting 15 craft kits and toys of dubious quality.

Okaythenn · 16/10/2023 15:55

They are being rude. My daughter loves Halloween themed stuff and Mickey Mouse (she’s 2) so they might not have been to her taste but as a mom I’d appreciate a gift I could actually use

Stephy1024 · 16/10/2023 16:19

How ungrateful of the mum. I think the gifts are fine. And it's the thought that counts.

ConcernedSchoolStaff · 16/10/2023 16:43

Okaaaay · 12/10/2023 22:59

@Itsbritneybitch22 it was a dual hand roll gesturing to the stars 😂

Now THAT seems weird and out there 🙀

pacificoceanwhale · 16/10/2023 16:48

SO rude of the Mum. The gifts are gorgeous

ScreamingBeans · 16/10/2023 17:14

Fucking rude. The only acceptable response to a gift is "thank you very much, that's lovely" or something along those lines, unless it's a deliberately passive aggressive one like a pair of worn old knickers or something.

People's lack of basic manners never cease to amaze.

nanamoo · 16/10/2023 22:58

Not sure about the bag but my daughter would have loved that treasure tin when she was 4, heck she'd still love it now at 25 lol

Fruitandclottedcream · 17/10/2023 09:28

StarlightLime · 16/10/2023 12:27

So a rucksack wouldn't qualify as an "out there" gift for a 4 year old girl, but op's gifts would.
Ok.
Just as well we're all different...

Show quote history

Well, to me a cute rucksack wouldn't be out there. I find cute rucksacks useful as they tend to be bigger and more practical. Plus the straps are comfortable.

Caroparo52 · 17/10/2023 15:32

Wow fab gifts.. very generous of you.
will you be my friend?

Nikkidolphin · 17/10/2023 16:18

My son would have loved those gifts at 4. He would have worn the bag to the beach to collect his precious stones and transferred them to the tin when he got home. Clearly a family with no imagination and a very rude parent. 🙄

Devora13 · 19/10/2023 08:47

The only thing I can think of tbh is if the child isn't a girly girl. But then that doesn't tie in with saying the gifts are 'out there'. I would think most kids get plenty of tat at birthday parties but I guess some parents aren't that tuned in to the bigger picture.

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