Mum rude about gifts for four year old…

[Okaaaay]

I’ll caveat by saying I don’t like buying kids tatt and have been known to put funky socks in a party bag (along with sweets and other stuff). So maybe I’m getting this very wrong…

My DC was invited to a four year old girl’s party at a soft play. I gifted a Rachel Elin tin (bright, pink girly colours with my treasures or something written on it) and a kids rainbow Joules drawstring gym bag. My other DC would have loved this sort of thing when they were 4.

The recipient's Mum came up to me at nursery this aft and said ‘thanks for the gifts for xxx, they were a bit ‘out there’ (with hand gesture) for her but we’ll make use’. I was so stunned I just nodded and smiled.

So clearly, she was rude, but were my gifts super weird?

Well she was rude but I'd be a little confused by them if I'm honest 🤣 my 4 year old wouldn't be interested in a drawstring bag, the tin maybe if I mentioned it could be a tin to keep secret treasures in but I'm sure mine would have rathered a toy or something "fun" BUT never would I have mentioned it!!!

They're not normal gifts for a young childs birthday, I would have thought you'd forgotten to get one and picked something from around the house or were decluttering and had decided to give unwanted items as gifts.

They are completely appropriate gifts and this women was incredibly rude wtf

Whatever you buy it could be received badly. Too much plastic, too old, too young, too girly, not girly enough. You’ll never please everybody.
What you bought is a completely normal gift and she was a dick to say what she did.

They’re really nice presents. The only thing I can think of is that she confused your gifts with someone else’s or she only likes to give her child things that she perceives to be gender neutral.

@Loubelle70 I’m glad that I’m not the only one that thought that, I think that I may oder myself (I mean my gd) one of those tins
@Okaaaay she was rude you showed thought and generosity come 🙃

My granddaughter would love those, but they're a bit recipient is a girl and all girls like pink and unicorns.

How rude!! Nice gifts that I think Any little girl would like! If didn’t like them she could regift them- that’s what we do!!

Absolutely love them, such great gifts!

She was really rude, but if I'm honest, I think the gifts were a bit shit.
I don't know any 4 year old that would be excited by a bag and a tin 🤨 but I'm clearly in the minority.
However crap I think the gifts are doesn't matter though because the only acceptable response to a present is a grateful thank you. Unless you've been gifted actual shite.

My 4 year old would have absolutely loved both of them! They are perfect for any 4 year old girl! For her 4th birthday she asked for a vanity table ❤️

A bit shit... No, they really weren't.

Lovely gifts. Not “out there” at all. And actually useful things rather than plastic tat. I’d be delighted with those gifts for my child. The mum sounds very rude and odd. She clearly lacks social etiquette.

I mean, they are a bit random...and super gendered if you don't know the child well (and happen to know shes really into pink, girlie, 90s style things). But equally the mum was really really rude to say anything to you. Even if my children recieved absolute rubbish I would still give a thank you and a "they love it". They are children, there's zero point in causing drama. I wouldn't worry about the gifts, she was rude, and next time just go generic and definetely cheaper!

I didn't say they were definitively shit.
I said that I would think they're shit. Important distinction.

You love tatt and are a massive hypocrite, but the Chinese love you because you’re a sucker for their shite and I’m proud of you for it xx

I haven't read all of the posts so maybe someone has already said this - maybe they were thought to be too girly or a bit "Pride" even? Regardless she was out of order.

She was rude.
I've gotten some v strange gifts over the years for my girls but I've never said anything other than thank you.
But tbh I'd probably think they were odd gifts of things you had lying around, which you kind of did. You buy in bulk and then dole out items. That's not thoughtful to each child. It's just giving stuff. It would be clear to me you didn't give a shite so long as u gave something.
And I'd be allergic to a string bag and an empty tin cos they wld end up full of crap just lying around their rooms.
I'd not be impressed but nor would i say anything other than thank you.
So, bit of both. She was rude but your gifts were strange imo.

I think that next year you should buy her child a toy drum or a very cheap recorder.

When my kids were small and we had birthday parties at home, we used to end with pass the parcel. The prize was always a toy musical instrument and I always used to endure that the worst behaved child won.

Breathtakingly rude. I wouldn't accept another invitation from her.

Fantastic gifts.

I remember when my DS was 4 one child gave him a geometry set.

That was random!

What sort of stuff would be acceptable gifts for your four year old, then? From yours and her perspective?

Haven't RTFT however - I am a 50 year old 70s kid and would have absolutely loved that tin!! And I speak as someone who hates pink and princesses!

She was downright rude IMO

Only thing I can think of is if the family only allow gender neutral toys and stuff. Not everyone appreciates "girly colours" for a girl and if you're close and know their values, it could be seen as being passive-aggressively forcing your views on them. But yes, that was rude.

the mum was rude for sure. But I do think the gifts are a bit out there. I don’t know any four year olds who would want a bag and a tin.