Mum rude about gifts for four year old…

[Okaaaay]

I’ll caveat by saying I don’t like buying kids tatt and have been known to put funky socks in a party bag (along with sweets and other stuff). So maybe I’m getting this very wrong…

My DC was invited to a four year old girl’s party at a soft play. I gifted a Rachel Elin tin (bright, pink girly colours with my treasures or something written on it) and a kids rainbow Joules drawstring gym bag. My other DC would have loved this sort of thing when they were 4.

The recipient's Mum came up to me at nursery this aft and said ‘thanks for the gifts for xxx, they were a bit ‘out there’ (with hand gesture) for her but we’ll make use’. I was so stunned I just nodded and smiled.

So clearly, she was rude, but were my gifts super weird?

Apparently 100 people are looking at the tin right now. I bet they are all on Mumsnet.
Seriously, lovely gifts.

Those are lovely gifts and clearly not appreciated by the tat loving child and mum.

Wow thank you for all your replies! Crazy couple of days.

It was slightly light hearted and I’m sure the mum didn’t mean to be quite so blunt. I am completely in for a spot of glitter in her Christmas card though 😉.

Happy my gift choices aren’t completely out there but taken on board all feedback re value of items, slight randomness etc. I do have an older DC who has received both these gifts and loved them, but appreciate some will prefer a toy. Also, will dial back the value of gifts moving forward.

Re the gendering - point taken. I’m fairly neutral with my children, though not adverse to either of them having sparkles (my boy has a pink scooter). But again, depends on the child.

Also re being a hypocrite re tatt. I don’t think either gift is tatt and, though they may have been made in China, I’m resolved that they have an actual use beyond ending up in landfill.

My goodness how times have changed. A party bag would have been a piece of cake, a ballon, and a part blower. What you bought sounds fab

The do sound nice but more something you would like than a child. Kids like tat, that's why McDonald's is massive 😁

My DC (was about ten at the time) once received a box of chocolate liqueurs. . 🤣

A half used bottle of perfume for an 8 Yr old once....

She's a batshit weirdo rude lunatic. You sound very kind and my girls of all ages would have loved these presents. You're in the right. She's in the very wrong. Don't waste any more time thinking about this, some people just have no manners. Out there gifts? No way. Stupid thing to say to you.

If it was from an 8 year old friend she may have sorted it herself?

Yes that's what I reckoned. She had a mother who didn't give a shite god love her.
So not a word was ever said. It was random though. She was a sweet kid.

Ah

A gift is a gift. All Should be received and acknowledged gracefully. By both the recipient and its mother!

These a lovely presents, the response was odd. Unfortunately some people are ungrateful.

Perhaps 'out there' meant she was thinking you'd been too generous rather than her disliking the gifts ?

I suggested this further up thread! She may have mis-used the term.

Lovely gifts, but she was very rude.

I have used multiples of those bags for different sports for all my children and they were super handy.

No need to go looking for a bag as each sport/activity had its bits in it ready to go.

Wow they're fab presents - can you come bearing gifts to my party please 🤣
Randomly I got Tins from one of my friends parents for a gift, probably 40 years ago, I've STILL got them!! And I've used them for tonnes of things over the years

Very rude and very ungrateful of her. Strange woman. I don't know why they would need to 'go together', and I think they do anyway (unicorn theme). Very generous of you. There's nothing at all "out there" about your gifts, just her personality!

If she meant too generous she could have just said too generous though..

Yes, if you want to be understood, don't use words which have a completely different meaning 🤷🏻‍♀️

Haven’t read the whole thread. Just wanted to thank OP for the tin idea, buying one for my 5 year old to keep his “treasures” in! We’re big fans of functional presents here…

I would put sweets or other small gifts in the tin. It feels like two empty somethings, maybe 4 year old didn't understand.

The thing is you have gifted practical items, but they’re the kind of items that could be used every day. So if the design is not to someone’s taste, your gifts end up as clutter as they may have their own versions. I wouldn’t blind buy anyone a bag or clothing for that reason.

I think the box is cute but it is very stylised. If the 4 year old is trying to be more of a “big girl” she might think it’s babyish or grow out of it soon. Again, it’s something I’d buy for someone when I’m sure they’ll like it.

but regardless you’re a kind person and your gifts are lovely

My DD8 would've loved those when she was younger!!

What a rude cow that mum is!

Ah I just saw this. I thought you had paid full price for both. I now don’t think you overspent at all.

I understand too why you had to give two gifts as the other option would have been to put something into one of the items. Gifting one empty carry/storage items may seem odd to a child. Personally I’d have put some colouring pencils into either the tin or the bag and given one without the other.

Honestly it’s easier to gift a voucher. Not exciting for the birthday child to receive but at least they can choose something themselves.
And by the time you search and hoard multiples, buy wrapping paper, it works out better to just give a voucher for £15.

‘Recycling’ gifts for kids within the same classroom isn’t nice either. My DC has received the same gift back that they had gifted a child a few months earlier. It was a large clay modelling set with paints. The child who gave the gift said that X hadn’t liked it and had given it to them on their birthday but as they already had one, they were passing it on. But it was my own child who had gifted it to X originally and liked it so much they had asked for one themselves as part of their own birthday gift from me.

I reached the conclusion that vouchers or cash are the only way to avoid giving unwanted gifts and I’m hesitant to give cash as I knew someone who didn’t give it to their child.