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Original poster

Mum rude about gifts for four year old…

419 replies

Okaaaay · 12/10/2023 22:31

I’ll caveat by saying I don’t like buying kids tatt and have been known to put funky socks in a party bag (along with sweets and other stuff). So maybe I’m getting this very wrong…

My DC was invited to a four year old girl’s party at a soft play. I gifted a Rachel Elin tin (bright, pink girly colours with my treasures or something written on it) and a kids rainbow Joules drawstring gym bag. My other DC would have loved this sort of thing when they were 4.

The recipient's Mum came up to me at nursery this aft and said ‘thanks for the gifts for xxx, they were a bit ‘out there’ (with hand gesture) for her but we’ll make use’. I was so stunned I just nodded and smiled.

So clearly, she was rude, but were my gifts super weird?

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cherrybakewell24 · 14/10/2023 20:24

They're lovely, how rude of that woman! Can't believe some people.

jlpth · 14/10/2023 20:34

Nice things
woman was rude af

Mrsmalelly · 14/10/2023 20:55

I don't think this was anything to do with the gifts, she was just being rude to you and using the gifts as an excuse. She is jealous of you for some reason.

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Buffs · 14/10/2023 20:56

Lovely presents, she was rude.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 14/10/2023 21:10

They are both lovely and also expensive. How rude of her. Yanbu

Rmw12 · 14/10/2023 21:48

She was weird about it, nothing wrong with your gifts.

SeaSunandSand · 14/10/2023 22:13

I love abroad so there is a while delightful mix of cultures. My DD has been gifted some weird and wonderful things over the years. Never would I be so rude as to say something to the parent! I think your gifts were lovely btw.
The first party my daughter had here was for her 4th birthday. One parent brought a card with the equivalent of £100 gift voucher in it! I was completely mortified as we had attended her daughter’s party a few weeks before and I had bought a £10 gift.
I’m used to the disparity now and not one person would ever be so rude as to comment on a gift. You give what you feel is right and it’s the accepted norm. 🤷‍♀️

Cookiesam · 14/10/2023 23:11

They don’t go together? For goodness sake they’re four! My daughter is 24 and would have been over the moon to receive such a gift! Top marks for bulk buying!

StarlightLime · 14/10/2023 23:16

Cookiesam · 14/10/2023 23:11

They don’t go together? For goodness sake they’re four! My daughter is 24 and would have been over the moon to receive such a gift! Top marks for bulk buying!

Yeah, the "they don't even go together!" thing is mystifying 😂

Cookiesam · 14/10/2023 23:17

You mean, you didn’t like them! Are you one of thosé Mums?! We are currently moving home and in amongst both my daughters belongings, I have found items similar to those. When asked whether they wanted to ´keep’ or ´ditch’, they both chose to keep them as they carry happy memories. They are now 20 or 24 and highly educated. Be careful to not edit your children too much.

Cookiesam · 14/10/2023 23:23

All gifts should be ´happily received’.

Cookiesam · 14/10/2023 23:29

I think a negative response is a reflection of the recipients parents lack of imagination . Either of those items can have a negative spin, such as, « hey, what a nice tin, you could keep your xxxx in there”. Any gift should be greeted with positively and gratitude.

Cookiesam · 14/10/2023 23:39

Your DC needs to realise how lucky they are to have a party/receive gifts, when do many other children don’t have enough food to eat.

Cookiesam · 14/10/2023 23:40

Next time, don’t invite her.

Grrrrdarling · 15/10/2023 00:26

Okaaaay · 12/10/2023 22:45

Super lovely, thank you! Though agree, they probably don’t go together that well. The total cost was £13 which is about what I gift for parties which are at a venue (I always bulk buy gifts in sales and got the bag for £5 and the tin for £8).

@Okaaaay I think both items are lovely. Mum could just have said thank you.
It is not like the two items don’t have a use, they aren’t just plastic tat & unless mum gave people ideas as to what child would like or is into then she can’t really complain!
I tend to ask mums what their kids are into beside the party or if they are saving for anything.
9/10 I give money as it is easier & they can then buy what they like.

M103 · 15/10/2023 00:57

Lovely gifts. My kids would have loved both at this stage. And they are practical.

MummaMandy333 · 15/10/2023 03:59

You know what's sad.. this woman was clearly rude and here you are questioning if you done the right thing and letting more strangers comment on your gifts, giving this woman's comment even more power..
They aren't weird, they don't have to match (we don't have OCD it's a gift for a 4 year old for petes sake) and honestly who cares. It's nice that you even showed up. Even nicer that you spent so much on her child.
We meet 1000s of people in our lifetimes and not all of them will be mentally stable people.
So she obviously isn't overly stable and is abit fruity. That is all. Now you know she is, ignore things she says and move on with your life.
Now, stop letting her comment worry you and move on with your life.
You will deal with a whole ton more unstable people in your life xxx

marcopront · 15/10/2023 06:37

SeaSunandSand · 14/10/2023 22:13

I love abroad so there is a while delightful mix of cultures. My DD has been gifted some weird and wonderful things over the years. Never would I be so rude as to say something to the parent! I think your gifts were lovely btw.
The first party my daughter had here was for her 4th birthday. One parent brought a card with the equivalent of £100 gift voucher in it! I was completely mortified as we had attended her daughter’s party a few weeks before and I had bought a £10 gift.
I’m used to the disparity now and not one person would ever be so rude as to comment on a gift. You give what you feel is right and it’s the accepted norm. 🤷‍♀️

Been there done that

I remember going to a party and the gifts we were given as we walked in cost more than the present we had bought.
Then there was the party with a digital camera in the party bag. The child from that party turns 18 next week. I wonder what that party will be like.

Josienpaul · 15/10/2023 07:34

Ahh I see the problem with these gifts…if you’re a beige mother and have a beige baby…they’re too colourful for their grey and beige toy box. Maybe next time you’d consider a monochrome rainbow theme? 😜

BooBooDoodle · 15/10/2023 08:18

Your presents were fab, I’d say she is the weird one!

Blueuggboots · 15/10/2023 09:14

I bought a few young girls in DS's class funky tins and filled them with hair accessories etc. they LOVED them!

Sajari63 · 15/10/2023 09:41

She's maybe more of a 'plastic tat made in China' type of mother. No accounting for taste is there ....

VivaDixie · 15/10/2023 11:01

TryAgainWithFeeling · 14/10/2023 15:48

Haven’t read the whole thread. Just wanted to thank OP for the tin idea, buying one for my 5 year old to keep his “treasures” in! We’re big fans of functional presents here…

Ooh yes I am going to get one for my 3yo DNeice for Xmas!

Wondering how many little girls are going to get this bag and tin combo for Xmas. There will be a thread on boxing day of mum's like the one in the OP going WTF? 🤣

GrannyHelen1 · 15/10/2023 14:42

Not weird, but amazing, thoughtful and very generous.

HAVELOCK · 15/10/2023 18:18

Definitely a weird response. The gifts are lovely and appropriate. I’ve just ordered my kids a couple of the tins because of your post. Ooh I must be so out there too🤣