DC may have seen something they shouldn't have

[YellowGem]

I have NC in case any older posts are recognised and linked to this. I know this sounds off but I promise you it's genuine.

Our DD (6) came into our bed in the early hours before DH came to bed, youngest was also in our bed too. DH came and due to the massive size of our bed, he sleeps at the end if this happens as he has more than enough room.

Anyway this morning our 6 year old was up for ages, running back and forth to their room with toys and playing on the bed from 6am (although possibly earlier). I was exhausted from being up with our baby for some of the night so I was answering her every now and again but knew where she was. After a little while, I sat up and saw DH had everything hanging out, he had his own covers which were slightly off of him and it was visible. I covered DH over and woke him up to chat with him while DD got some things from her room. Neither of us know what to say, he was very clearly embarrassed and said he may have hand his hand under the waistband because they're an uncomfortable pair and just rolled over.

How would you approach this situation? We're not 100% sure she saw but I don't see how she couldn't have.

She probably didn't even notice it looked different. I wouldn't say anything unless she asked.

Mind boggling that you think there is anything to be worried about.

I think people forget that not everyone has the same upbringing. It’s actually frowned upon in many families to see someone who isn’t your partner naked

It’s not normal to see your opposite sex parent naked

Don’t worry about it. One day some years ago helping at playgroup a little girl was using lots of pink paint. We talked about the colours she was using when she pointed to the pink and said, “That’s the colour of my Daddy’s Willy”. So it happens a lot.

Yes it is.

If you would like to re-read and not cause a issue, you will find she didn't say that. She actually said.._
_
"have already talked to my DD about certain subjects since she's raided our bathroom cupboard, she also knows how we give birth."

Reading comments properly and not imagining things written will be better in the long run for everyone.

No, she saw tapons, we talked about periods. She asked me how they get babies out, we had a chat about that.

Anyway, we're content that we don't need to do anything. I was reassured after my first update, I was just answering the questions that kept coming up. I won't answer anymore because for some reason you're taking it that I'm hysterically wringing my hands over this and I'm not. I'm not prudish by any means either, DD sees me undressed and it's not an issue until we need to chat about privacy when she's pointing things out and laughing. DH is private with his body, my DF was private, DH's DF was private, can you see the pattern about male genitals being private in our families? We know it's just body parts but it's understandable to think we might question if we need to say anything based on that.

I really think some posters need to remember that this is a parenting site, not everyone has the same upbringing to know what to say or whether to do anything in certain situations. It's not crap, it's a question, or are the only ones who should post the ones who have DH's having affairs or treat them like shit? Do we have to constantly be bitchy towards one another? I deliberately posted on the parenting board, not AIBU.

For you, it is. For a lot of people it’s not even allowed.

I think it is when the children are little, say maybe 7 and under.

Saying that I NEVER saw my father naked. And I can count on one hand how many times I've seen him with no top on in my life.

I have 4 boys so my boys have seen me naked it’s not normal to think that’s not normal tbh it’s just a body. We have no shyness or awkwardness at home I don’t walk about naked or anything but they have come into my room whilst I’m dressing or into the bathroom it’s really not a big deal. Now they are older they are better with door knocking and understanding privacy and we can talk about our bodies etc without embarrassment.

This is madness, are you ok op? You can’t be serious? He had an erection, would a child even notice that or think twice about it if you just explained it the same way you explain anything else slightly awkward?

also he had his hand down his crotch? Surely she wouldn’t care or notice this either

you say you’re open and sex positive, you don’t sound it. People shower with their kids and get changed in front of them at swimming, at beaches etc and surely kids walk in all the time on parents getting changed etc?? What’s the problem?

I think it was a shock to OP both the nakedness and erection.

I’d honestly not bring it up at all unless asked but if she does then give her an adult explanation around sex.

I can’t recall if I saw my DF or stepdad’s perises ever, probably not. I do recall being embarrassed seeing my DF using a cardboard thing to wee on after an operation in hospital and I was 21 though!

In the continent, most of Europe this honestly isn’t even a thing, they’re far less prudish than we are.

This. It really is not a big deal at all.

Our house couldn’t be more unlike this! Both mine and my husbands naked bodies are insulted daily by our young children. This would be such a non issue.

This

perfect answer but if child hasn’t asked then let it go , obviously wasn’t bothered if she did see .

This.

If you treat it like a big deal she will think it's a big deal (flash news: it's not). I saw my dad naked a few times as a child, mostly he was going to the loo at night, changing bathing suit etc... In my 8 year old mind I thought his bits were "funny" and that was that.

As one or two sensible people on this thread have said - whilst everyone else is falling over themselves to swear that they're naked in from of their kids all the time - is that people have different upbringings and therefore ideas about what's usual.

All of the blinky-eyed, disingenuous "I'm utterly baffled...." posts are as fucking annoying as the "you're prudish", "your're victorian" ones

Yes this. All children see their parents naked at some point surely ? My dds saw me naked all the time, DH was more careful about being covered up than he might have been if we’d had sons, but they thought it was the funniest thing ever to try and pull the duvet off him early in the morning, when they were tiny.
Just laugh it off, it isn’t anything terrible.

Yes. I had a totally Victorian, deeply Catholic upbringing, and have never seen either parent naked. But as a free individual, I don’t have to replicate that kind of needless Puritanism around my own child.

My post earlier was referring to @neverenoughchelseaboots post .
I obvs pressed wrong tab … sorry 😂

Are you not concerned that could happen if dd tells someone at school she sees you naked a lot?

Except op wasn’t brought up like that. So she should be able to guide her deeply embarrassed DH and really see this is a non issue.

We are at a point in time where the media has boosted attention on sex education with children. Lots of conversations about what is taught in schools etc people are trying to find their views on what’s what. I don’t blame OP for asking as I think recent media has got people questioning their judgements.

OP, I’m sorry you’ve had some unkind replies. I don’t think you need to bring it up to your DC but if they bring it up it’s as easy as saying ‘silly daddy was asleep and didn’t know his boxers don’t fit properly! It’s just his body though, nothing to worry about. Do you have any other questions or shall we go do XYZ now?’

Sit your DD down, ask her exactly what it was she saw, explain and talk through in detail - thereby making it into a massive thing

This is one of those threads where everything starts to sound like a double entendre.

Anyway. If she'd seen him wanking, that would have been a problem. Seeing him butt naked, as it were, not a problem. And if she asks, just give an age appropriate answer. It won't scar her for life. Might make her think about privacy a bit though.