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Parenting

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Beginning to deeply regret having my baby

78 replies

emnoneya · 12/06/2023 21:44

I am beginning to regret having my baby. She's 10 weeks old and I feel like I have completely ruined my life. It was perfect before, we had both salaries coming in so we had a good amount of money each month which meant we could do whatever we wanted. We went on holiday together every year. We went out together every weekend and it was stress free. I had my freedom. I had my independence. I wasn't worried if my child was going to start crying in her pram while out and about. I had time to myself. I loved my alone time - why did I do this to myself?
I was so sure I wanted a baby. I had a great pregnancy and I was SO happy and excited the whole time. But it's so different to what I imagined. I thought I would enjoy taking care of her and cuddling her when she's upset. I thought I'd have a great bond with her. I think I love her but it's so hard sometimes I don't know if I do. She's not even a difficult baby, she cries and gets irritable through the day but she's sleeping at night, 11pm - 4/5am and then back down until around 7am so I can't even blame it on sleep deprivation.
I have zero patience for her crying and irritability. I just want to be left alone to do my own thing and do what I want to do. I find it so relentless and I don't know what to do with her all day to keep her entertained and stop her from getting irritable.
I am too selfish and lazy to take care of a child, I don't know why I ever thought it would be a good idea.
My partner takes care of her amazingly, he has so much patience for her when she won't nap or if she is having a hard time in the day and he can spend hours trying to settle her without getting frustrated.
I just can't believe I've done this to myself and I wish I knew 12 months ago what I know now because I would never have started trying for a baby.
We do have family who come and take care of her every now and then to give us some time out but I feel like I don't fully enjoy it because I know I've got to go back to her eventually.
I am desperate to enjoy being a family of 3 but I'm not, the last two months have been hell.
I have never hated myself more than I do now for bringing this innocent little girl into the world and having a mother that can't be bothered to look after her half the time.

OP posts:
MarioLink · 17/11/2025 12:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

lolly427 · 17/11/2025 13:29

Oh god OP, this is why i only have one child! Babies are hell. All they do is cry, whinge and poo. Mine was miserable as sin. But then he stopped being a baby and I've had 17 pretty amazing years. I thought I'd made a mistake for a good while, now I think he's the best thing since sliced bread.

I promise it won't be like this forever, but it will feel like it's forever! Keep making the effort to build the bond even though it's just boring hard work right now.

Flo367 · 17/11/2025 14:09

Oh I'm sorry to read this. I felt exactly the same when my DD was born. The only advice I can give is to give it some time. You will get back into the swing of things and everything will get better, you've just got to stick with it. I always found a walk in the pram helped, fresh air, clear your head then back home to a nice cup of tea. I hope you feel better soon x

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