Do people physically force kids?

[Anonymouslyposting]

My 2.5 year old DD is going through the terrible twos. She is a lovely, clever, kind little girl but I am having to take a lot of deep breaths at the moment…

She won’t do anything she’s asked to - get up, get dressed, eat, drink, go out, do any activity we suggest, have her vitamins, brush her teeth or go to bed. She’s intermittently rejecting my DH who used to be a firm favourite and has started occasional hitting (she seems more to be trying to see our reaction that hurt us). Apparently she is good as good at nursery but is the same with her grandparents.

I understand that this is developmentally normal, she’s testing boundaries and asserting herself, particularly as we have a 4 month old who is taking my attention and I’m sure has been unsettling for her.

But what do we do? Do we really have to physically force her into her clothes/the buggy/to brush her teeth every time? I’ve tried explaining things to her, waiting until she gets bored and gives in (but I don’t always have time for this), mirroring her feelings but none of this works consistently. I’m sure she’ll go out of this phase but is it normal for everything to be a fight until then?

As a nanny I’ve worked with a lot of kids and about half of them wouldn’t give a shiny shit about a sticker for good behaviour.

When I tried that with my dcs, they looked at me as if I had lost my mind lol.
Stickers, star charts etc… has never ever worked with them.

We had a child in school once (I was a teacher) whose mother didn't make him brush his teeth or see a dentist because he refused. He had rotten black stumps- I have never seen anything like it. Sometimes you have to make them do things because you are the one who knows best.

Mine were horrors at 2, so bad that I bought a book called 1-2-3 magic by doctor Phelan - amazing book I carried on using the princiliples from it until they were about 12. I really cant recommend it enough 😁 saved my sanity

This also works on older kids (and adults). I use it to manage things like washing up. A simple 'Do you want to wash or dry?' or 'Do you want to take the recycling out or clear the table?. It lets them feel like they have some agency but still gets things done.