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Why are gender roles viewed negatively?

866 replies

reddragon7 · 04/04/2023 20:32

I read and see so many threads and real life examples, where men and women feel the need to be “equal.” The man about to become a father, refuses to become the main earner, even when he has the means, and insists that his wife also work and contribute financially. Doesn’t this seem imbalanced to anyone, and that society is being brainwashed to accept this as the norm.

I have nothing against a woman wishing to work post-children, however, I don’t understand why society and some men put pressure on their wives to work, if she would rather stay home with the children. This has now become and expectation. If a woman is contributing financially, it is never really 50/50, as she is also doing most of the domestic work.

People condemn gender roles as though they are ancient, but seem to forget that, biologically and psychologically, women are naturally better caregivers to children. They are the ones pregnant, produce all these hormones, and better equipped to raise a child than a man. Of course, there are exceptions, but as a general fact, people seem to ignore this.

In view of all this, I believe more men should offer to be financial providers, giving women the option to not work after children, as childcare costs aren’t exactly saving them much anyway. Otherwise, it feels we are moving away from our gender roles, which may actually be more helpful in a marriage, than people make out.

OP posts:
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Itsnotpacific · 10/04/2023 10:10

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 04/04/2023 22:40

What a pile of absolute rubbish.

Not all men want to be the sole breadwinner. Why should they have to shoulder that burden if they don't want to, simply in order to give women more choice.

Women are perfectly capable of contributing financially on a 50/50 basis. Why on earth would you think otherwise? Many women are the main breadwinners. Many more like to retain their financial independence. Are you unaware of this?

Men are perfectly capable of caring for small children. They are also perfectly capable of doing their fair share of domestic tasks. Why do you assume that women will inevitably take on most of this work?

Many women don't want to be stuck at home with small children, and they don't want to be seen by society as the default caregivers. They want grown up relationships with capable adults who share all aspects of adult life between them.

👏

Feemie · 10/04/2023 10:13

reddragon7 · 09/04/2023 23:01

I am not trying to change your culture. I just posted my preferences. I even said if others prefer a different arrangement, that’s their choice. People are free to believe what they want. Research isn’t exactly going to take into account all cultures’ normalities for childcare, to conclude it’s accuracy. It could be biased. People’s childhood experiences, lifestyle preferences, and personal comfortabilities normally shape their choices.

I don’t think you understand what research is.

TearsforBeers · 10/04/2023 11:04

Research isn’t exactly going to take into account all cultures’ normalities for childcare, to conclude it’s accuracy. It could be biased. People’s childhood experiences, lifestyle preferences, and personal comfortabilities normally shape their choices.

You're not familiar with how research works are you?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

TearsforBeers · 10/04/2023 11:06

At least a longer funded maternity leave allows more flexibility for women who wish to stay home with their children. As they will start free nursery/school from ages 3/4 anyway.

Massively disadvantages women in the workplace though ......

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/04/2023 11:42

TearsforBeers · 10/04/2023 11:06

At least a longer funded maternity leave allows more flexibility for women who wish to stay home with their children. As they will start free nursery/school from ages 3/4 anyway.

Massively disadvantages women in the workplace though ......

Despite how much she claims she supports women who decide to work, she clearly doesn't care about making it harder for them with her 'helpful' suggestions.

TearsforBeers · 10/04/2023 12:05

Despite how much she claims she supports women who decide to work, she clearly doesn't care about making it harder for them with her 'helpful' suggestions.

Women's equality is clearly not something the Op is concerned about.

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/04/2023 13:35

@TearsforBeers Exactly.

bossonext · 10/04/2023 14:40

TearsforBeers · 10/04/2023 11:04

Research isn’t exactly going to take into account all cultures’ normalities for childcare, to conclude it’s accuracy. It could be biased. People’s childhood experiences, lifestyle preferences, and personal comfortabilities normally shape their choices.

You're not familiar with how research works are you?

She's not familiar with how a lot of things work.

Antiquiteas · 10/04/2023 14:43

Cannot believe the OP is still here, still plugging away with her nonsense.

Shutte · 10/04/2023 18:27

@reddragon7 What does the woman do when the child goes to school? There’s only so much you can clean!

We took shared parental leave and both went back full time after a year. We have a cleaner (2hrs a week), cook from scratch and still have all weekends free for family time and evenings after nursery etc. If I stayed home I think I’d be bored senseless! Once I’d done a 2hr clean Monday morning, what do you do to fill your time? I think I’d be pretty resentful of my husband if he spent all week doing nothing and I was working all week to pay for everything.

Shutte · 10/04/2023 18:29

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/04/2023 11:42

Despite how much she claims she supports women who decide to work, she clearly doesn't care about making it harder for them with her 'helpful' suggestions.

What about the men who want to stay home and look after the children? Surely the best way is to give men and women the same paid leave and they can decide themselves what they want to do?

AnorLondo · 10/04/2023 18:33

Shutte · 10/04/2023 18:29

What about the men who want to stay home and look after the children? Surely the best way is to give men and women the same paid leave and they can decide themselves what they want to do?

Men are biologically inferior when it comes to looking after children. Apparently.

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/04/2023 18:39

Shutte · 10/04/2023 18:29

What about the men who want to stay home and look after the children? Surely the best way is to give men and women the same paid leave and they can decide themselves what they want to do?

I said a few pages (or so) ago that men should have better paternity leave because it starts at birth when men are forced back to work after 2 weeks.

I'd be fully on board with the same paid leave for both parents. As long as the paternity leave couldn't be added to the maternity leave because little would change.

Shutte · 10/04/2023 19:39

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/04/2023 18:39

I said a few pages (or so) ago that men should have better paternity leave because it starts at birth when men are forced back to work after 2 weeks.

I'd be fully on board with the same paid leave for both parents. As long as the paternity leave couldn't be added to the maternity leave because little would change.

Yep, I would say 6m paid each. Use it or lose it, no swaps.

GanjaDhin · 10/04/2023 19:41

eurochick · 04/04/2023 20:39

What a load of old shyte.

Succinct but to the point.

SouthLondonMum22 · 10/04/2023 19:51

Shutte · 10/04/2023 19:39

Yep, I would say 6m paid each. Use it or lose it, no swaps.

I'd be fully on board with that.

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