Older people who are without children…

[James637]

Any older folks here 60+ who haven’t got children? How has your life panned out? Do you ever have regrets? Is it lonely?

Why the interest?

Im 62 and no regrets at all.

I’m 34 and can’t make my mind up! 😐

I’m mid-40s, not older by your definition, but the older I get the happier I am without children. Absolutely the right decision for me.

I don't really know.
I'm 56.
Always wanted a child. Never succeeded, despite IVF and the like. A couple miscarriages. Stopped trying more than 20 years ago.
I came to terms with it. Now, I'm content with the way things are. I'm happy not to have them.
The difference is, I ALWAYS was sure I wanted children. If you're not sure, maybe leave it? It's a hell of decision to come to 'just in case you regret it'.
Good luck, I hope you find a solution.

I'm late 60s, my husband is early 60s and neither of us ever wanted children, or even thought about it. When we met (in our late and early 30s) we were upfront about it and were delighted we were both in the same boat. I have no regrets, in fact it never usually crosses my mind, except when I think I might die alone with no relatives, but then there's no guarantee that children would be there anyway. So no, I've enjoyed my weekend lie ins, my late nights, my holidays in term time etc etc. I don't mind other people's children, I just knew I couldn't make that commitment. That maternal part of me has always just been absent.

Yes, fine thanks, no, no.

61. Childfree. Sterilised at 30. Not regretted this for one millisecond. Living the smug single childfree dream 👌

Yes and I have no regrets though I have had a lifetime of friends boring on about their children and now, grandchildren.

60 in a few months - never wanted children and very happy with my life.

Almost 40 and very happy to be child free.

No problems with your decisions to not have children but- why are you on mumsnet? I'm genuinely curious. There are quite a few of you.

Was thinking the same. The home page says “by parents for parents” not sure why you would come across “mums”net if you aren’t a mum dad or guardian?

Quite a few threads are not about kids @fridascruffs

I came on mumsnet after searching for a recipe in google and one came up in food and drink forum! And now I post in the pet forum. Is that ok or should I not be able to make that particular recipe or post questions about my dog because I’m child free! When I signed up it didn’t ask me to include my children’s birth certificate or proof of child ownership so I figured I was ok but thanks for asking!

Im not 60, I’m 42 but I don’t have any maternal bone in my body and still loving my child free life

because some of the threads are absolutely hilarious.

all those bad parking stories have nothing to do with kids at all!

FFS.

I’m childfree and happy with my decision so no regrets, I am happy with my life and never feel lonely.

I am on mumsnet because I came here years ago when looking online for support after being raped and so many mumsnet posts came up in my searches. I got lots of support and stayed because most of the threads aren’t about children and interest me.

Lots of people who don’t have children are here because there are threads about many things other than children, they are nannys, childminders, midwives, healthcare professionals, in the legal or financial professions, are vets, bakers, writers etc and want to give and receive advice. There are people here who are childless but came here while trying for children, while undergoing ivf, for advice about adopting, to get support after a miscarriage or stillbirth. Lots of reasons really.

Just an observation.

I’ve tried Reddit but it’s totally anti children on there so the responses are always biased!

OP nobody can make that decision for you unfortunately.

I'm perfectly happy without children, but others may be miserable, it's not a one size fits all situation.

The only thing I would say is, don't have children to have someone to look after you when you are older - I have seen so many cases where adult children move away and live on different continents, or just don't even visit their elderly parents (including my brother).

"of you" - WTF. Do you actually think Mumsnet is only for mothers? Are you unaware of the vast spectrum of thread topics and the myriad types of people who post/comment? It doesn't occur to you that Mumsnet may have far reaching appeal to all of those people who haven't had offspring? What about people who have suffered losses; are they no longer 'Mumsy' enough for your standards, to justify a place here?

The reality is Mumsnet is one the few places online where a huge number of women discuss a range of different topics. So much of the internet is dominated by men.

I usually stick to the Feminism and Style and Beauty boards, but there's such a vast range of discussion that go on that is hard to find anywhere else.

The two people I know who are content with their lives without children truly had to make their peace with the life they would have had. I think it takes a lot of strength to do that.

There's a book called Baby Hunger by Sylvia Ann Hewlett that could be interesting for you to read. She covers the topic of why women don't have children (often a creeping non-choice in her time) and when regret sets in (with her contemporaries in their 50s/ 60 s as they started to see friends experience grandparent hood). There is a whole lot less societal pressure now and some of the horrors and difficulties of parenting are out there in the open.

I'm 49, not 62. At 34 I knew for certain I wanted children - definite biological urge, having spent my 20s saying ugh, no, never. My DD is the best thing ever to have happened. The love is profound, and it makes up in my case for any tough times. But you don't miss what you don't have. Prior to her birth I was worried about loving my two cats more. At birth they instantly became just the cats. I chime in because I see lots of young women now trying to turn this into some kind of rational, analytical decision. To some extent it is - affordability in the main I reckon. But the weighing up of future unknown regrets is a deeply personal thing.

It's the getting married bit I would question deeply. Head to Denmark and get some fine Danish seed (socially they value donation) and then you are free to raise your child without a dubious man child in the equation if you need (divorced and remarried).

Otherwise my childfree friends are all having a marvellous time, just as we are with them. Some wonder 'what if?' but have good partnerships. Only one feels pain at never having had children. The kids are old enough now to come along to festivals, sort their own meals out etc.