Sons dad fractured 3 of my sons ribs

[lockdownmummax]

Looking for advice,

Long one, on Wednesday morning I noticed my baby was unsettled and had a cut on his ear, he was grunting and I noticed a bruise on his hand, I took him to GP and she called social services, we where referred to hospital for suspected child abuse, I really thought some sort of freak accident happened, I never suspected my then partner ( sons dad ) at the time at all, however scans revealed 3 fractured ribs, on Saturday my sons dad told me he thinks he's done this out of a moment of frustration as he couldn't settle our son... he squeezed him, we told the police, the police arrested him yesterday morning, he is out and waiting to give another statement and charges

However social services have informed me today I am not aloud to be around my 2 children unsupervised, they will stay with my mum, I can't take them home or anything I am devestated as I haven't done this and told the police when my sons dad told me,

I am also struggling to come to terms with this as my sons dad is not an aggressive person and really never suspected this, anyone know what will happen with social services will I get to take my children home eventually

If he has admitted hurting the baby then you should be able to take the kids home sooner rather than later but they will be safe rather than sorry until they get legal advice.
In terms of parental responsibility yes you both keep that.

You have done everything right so far, op. How you tell the timeline makes perfect sense to me.

You must continue to protect your children from now on by making surer this man is never near them without professional supervision.

I am sorry it has come to this. I expect your partner is devastated but one awful mistake is all it takes. No more now.

Tuesday - Incident happened unknown to OP
Wednesday - Taken to GP and investigation started
Saturday - Partner admitted what happened on Tues?

You need to make sure social know you have left him and aren't allowing him bear the kids.

I understand why you say he wasn't an aggressive man. He obviously is aggressive, but you're saying you weren't aware that he was violent beforehand, that he didn't show signs of violence/extreme aggression prior?

I can also understand why you are thinking about future access. You don't know if this would be allowed despite what he has done. Some people do think about the future when they are going through things like this. It doesn't mean you want him to have access, you are just thinking what it would loon like if it were legally allowed to him.

The supervised contact with your mum is the "emergency plan" to safeguard.

As you have said, he doesn't live with you, you've asked for the keys to your house back to stop him accessing the children. You will leave him, and have taken legal advice on if in the future he is allowed contact that you would request it be supervised.

You also went to get medical treatment for your child the moment you suspected he was unwell/hurt. And then contacted the police to advise them and your partner was arrested.

Moving forward, a child protection plan will be implemented, again agree to all terms set out by social services regarding keeping your children safe.

Good luck OP.

Terminate his parental rights
get a life long restraining order

'Supervised access' Are you insane?

Neither of those things are legally possible. What's the point of 'advice' like this?

She cannot terminate his parental rights nor get a life long restraining order.

She may be able to get a Court to agree that he can't have contact with his child unsupervised and get a non-molestation order.

The child will likely have supervised contact with his father at some point sanctioned by the courts. It's unlikely that he'll have zero contact ever again. The OP is thinking about safety and contingency so no need to berate her.

She has clearly been speaking to a lawyer who has told her he might be able to have access to his son in the future... If she can't prevent access, of course she would ask for it be supervised.

Yes it is

been through the system

How did you get the father's parental 'rights' terminated then please? Enlighten us. Especially when they don't actually exist in UK law.

In exceptional circumstances it is possible to remove parental responsibility from an abusive father.

Agree that the comments having a go at op are unnecessary when it seems like she's doing all she can. I think to me and maybe others she's not coming across as furious at 'd'p as most of us would be. I'd be incandescent with rage.

Op, you've said you will leave this horrible man. Please don't change your mind. Don't start with the 'oh it was an accident' or 'he's not like that really it was a one off' . He's a monster. Don't be that weak mother. Stay away from him, do what social services ask of you, protect your children.

But who the fuck would be thinking about that now? Your mind would be full of anger for this cunt whilst being desperately worried for your baby and about getting full access back yourself. Not this piece of scums access.

Also once the child is 16 or an adult she cannot prevent the child and the "father" having contact with one another.

I can help you with the legal aspect.
I, without any legal representation but armed with tonnes of legal advice from a stellar direct access barrister, successfully removed my ex husband’s PR last week. It CAN be done. Absolutely. People will say no because it’s not simple (and shouldn’t be) but in cases of life threatening abuse, absolutely push hard.
On the basis that your former partner has committed a crime which endangered the life of his child, you have an extremely strong case for removal of PR at best and ‘Limited PR’ at worst (which severely reduces PR to the barest of minimums). You do not want him around the children. Ever. Again. It is ok to feel lost, sad, and confused about this. Because it is hard to come to terms with the reality that the partner we trusted did the worst to their own precious child. Really fucking hard to come to terms with that. But protect your children you must! He made a terrible decision and actions have consequences. These are his. He is the architect of his own loss and misery. PROTECT!! That’s all you have to think about. Protect your kids. Make it your mantra and give it truth.
I’ve been fighting for this for a year and finally got it. I cried tears of utter sadness on the day I read the order. Ugly tears. Why? Because my children deserved a loving parent, not a shitty, abusive one. Removal of PR reminded me of what they never had in their father and never ever will. But! It made me proud of the family we’ve become and crucially, the mother I am.
I’ll help you any way I can, OP. PM me.

A court can terminate his rights

a life long non molestation order for at least for the next 12-24 months protects her and all the children

my friends husband attacked the house - not her or the kids but he violently attacked the house when she wasn’t there - police got her a 3 year non molestation order whilst she sorted through everything

so yes the police absolutely should protect them

People really seem to be struggling with their comprehension, I can only think it’s shock at the injury op.

you are doing everything correctly. Keep engaging and getting support and for the love of goodness stay away from men for a long time until you have enough support to understand how not to end up with an abuser again, and it will be fine in the long run.

im impressed you’ve immediately told the police when he told you, that was a brave thing to do. I hope your mums supporting you.

I don't think she is thinking about it for the benefit of the scum. She is just thinking about what might happen in the future and how she can protect her son from him in the future. I think that's reasonable and normal. You can be full of anger and trying to get her son back, but also anxious and fearful about the future too.

People very often refer to the US term parental rights to mean parental responsibility in the UK.

It's technically wrong, but it's also not uncommon to hear people talking about their Miranda rights when they mean caution.

im impressed you’ve immediately told the police when he told you, that was a brave thing to do. I hope your mums supporting you.

Ffs impressed? There was no other option. A baby has been abused. Wtaf?

That was awful to read and made me so angry.

That poor kid.

Thank god for the GP's prompt actions.

To cause these injuries your ex did not just ''squeeze him'' a bit too tight by accident (which would already be bad enough), he violently assaulted him.

''I am also struggling to come to terms with this as my sons dad is not an aggressive person''.

Really? you still think he is not an 'aggressive person' after what he did?

I am a bit surprised that you are not angrier at him for doing if I am honest.

Social services are doing the right thing by preventing you both to have access to the kids because he assaulted the baby, you were completely oblivious of it and somehow you still seem in denial.

I would say it is very unlikely that someone suddenly turns into a child abuser with no previous warning/anger issues.

So unfortunately I don't believe his explanation of course but I also find myself questioning your side as well.

It sounds like you’ve been incredibly strong so far OP and it must be so hard. But leaving your partner, supporting the police and social services are the best thing you can do to protect your baby. Stay strong.