Sons dad fractured 3 of my sons ribs

[lockdownmummax]

Looking for advice,

Long one, on Wednesday morning I noticed my baby was unsettled and had a cut on his ear, he was grunting and I noticed a bruise on his hand, I took him to GP and she called social services, we where referred to hospital for suspected child abuse, I really thought some sort of freak accident happened, I never suspected my then partner ( sons dad ) at the time at all, however scans revealed 3 fractured ribs, on Saturday my sons dad told me he thinks he's done this out of a moment of frustration as he couldn't settle our son... he squeezed him, we told the police, the police arrested him yesterday morning, he is out and waiting to give another statement and charges

However social services have informed me today I am not aloud to be around my 2 children unsupervised, they will stay with my mum, I can't take them home or anything I am devestated as I haven't done this and told the police when my sons dad told me,

I am also struggling to come to terms with this as my sons dad is not an aggressive person and really never suspected this, anyone know what will happen with social services will I get to take my children home eventually

Also those blaming you, intentionally or not for having "a terrible choice in men".... most victims do not knowingly enter abusive relationships, the abuse can take years to manifest.

Also, from one county I've seen multiple non accidental injuries on babies and low and behold not all were committed by the "obvious type" of character... some with no adverse experiences or histories, no warning signs, no arguable "mitigating" circumstances for irrationally shaking or harming a baby.

Shocking how quick people are to judge, or is it shocking...

OP you didn't see this coming, the responsibility of your ex partner harming your baby does not lie on your shoulders

My heart is breaking for you and your child. Thank god you have your mum. I really don’t know what to say but I just want you all to be ok and stay away from him ❤️

Yep. You only have to spend a little time on tiktok to find young women who have lost their children, telling everyone who will listen about social services ‘stealing their babies and children’. They may have got rid of the past abusive fathers to their kids but the next one is standing right behind them.

Thing is OP, he is aggressive and abusive, just in a different way to your ex. I know it might be hard to connect the real him to how he presents himself. You have done the right thing though and I'm glad you have the support of your mum. I hope your baby is doing ok and heals quickly. Take care of yourself too, especially as you gave birth only 11 weeks ago.

@lockdownmummax I'm so sorry that this has happened to your baby. I cannot imagine the torture of knowing his dad did this to him.

The reason you are only allowed to be with your children under supervision will be because they need to be as sure as they possibly can be that you were not involved in causing any injury or protecting the person that did.

I worked with a family where any family member who'd been in contact with that child around the time frame of the injury was not allowed to see them unsupervised.

They will want specialist tests, they will do assessments and they will look at your ability to keep both children safe.

It's good that he's admitted this because otherwise you could both be facing losing the children.

Well done for protecting your baby and for calling the police. You've absolutely done the right thing. Keep working with social services and the police. Be open and transparent with them and do what they ask.

You are right that he likely will be able to see his child. That feels horrific I'm sure.
It will be supervised and it will likely be in a contact centre at least initially. Later he might be able to see him in the community, go for walks etc.
That could be a few times a week potentially.

I would insist it is trained staff that supervise not family members.

Oh my god, abusers are the most deceptive assholes. Deceit flows through their veins. Honestly, the lengths they go to deceive takes so much energy. It’s so much easier and less exhausting being a nice person! If you haven’t lived out an abusive relationship, don’t insult the OP. You really haven’t a clue. Be thankful for that.

For other posters, please treat this parent with kindness and understanding. She has had a horrendous shock and will still be processing this.
She's done the right thing and taken action.

Please don't bully or abuse her. Most of you will have absolutely no idea what she is going through so just leave it.

Op. How are you feeling now? This must be a nightmare for you and the kids. I don’t judge you but you know the right thing to do. Good luck and hopefully you’ll get your lovely baby back.

I’ve said it is on these men, they did it.

BUT, OP can do things to help. This latest partners abuse couldn’t have taken years to manifest, nor could it have been a total shock, because she hadn’t been with him long. Of course it’s these bastard men at fault, but OP does have to try to help herself and her children. Be in a relationship longer before children, don’t rush things, etc... not a guarantee, nothing is, but the longer you know someone the more likely they are to show you their true self.

I agree but the pricks on this site won’t listen to this. Being nasty and abusive to women in need are some people’s MO in this cesspit. Of course they will say they’re “being blunt” or “telling harsh truths” but they’re not, they’re just cunts.

Daaaamn, it takes ALOT to break an 11 week olds ribs, theyre bodies are meant to go through the trauma of birth so they arnt fragile like people thing, ribs breaking and 3 at that! is more likely way more than just a squeeze, your doing the right thing though. listen to the Social services and show hes been kicked out for good.

@MulletAndMustache the op may have no choice but to allow contact. You have clearly have no idea how it works.

She took the baby to the doctor Wednesday morning because she thought the baby was unsettled etc.
Hospital found broken ribs so coupled with ear and bruise called SS and police.
On Sat am OP’s ex admitted squeezing the baby. OP reported him to police immediately, asked them to retrieve his key, finished the relationship.
She sought help as soon as her baby was unwell.
She cooperated with the SS and investigation
She didn’t know her ex had hurt the baby til Saturday. At which point she told the police.
Why are you blaming her?

And you allowed your son's father to be with him alone at 11 weeks, where he has caused 3 separate sets of injuries to him - ear, hand and ribs?

This is a vile comment. How dare you?

I'm sorry OP, this was not your fault. I recommend you engage fully with SS and try not to worry too much about future what ifs, for now anyway

IYou were very fortunate that your son did not sustain life threatening injuries, or you would be facing police charges.i

And this? WTF

Not saying she will. But it’s not a priority for her.

Absolutely engage with SS. They will need to be satisfied that you will put your kids needs before yours and ex partner. Lucky that you have your Mum. A friend of mine had the same shocking news about her grandson and the kids came to her for 12 months in all I think, with her daughter moving in too after several months.
I'm sorry you are all going through this and hope the baby makes a swift recovery.

It's amazing how some women always find some way to blame other women for the atrocious behaviour of men.

What an awful situation I'm so sorry OP. Please make sure you're eating and practicing self care. You must stay strong for your children and do what's right 💐

If it is any comfort, when my dc broke their collar bone (in an accident when 2yrs old) it was only about a week or so before they seemed back to normal. Bones can heal really quickly in babies so hopefully he will not be in pain for too much longer.

I hope the investigation ensures there is enough support for you to safeguard your children going forward.

Well said @TheVanguardSix

And well done to you , better days are coming 💐

I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. Don’t worry you will get your babies back soon as he has told the truth. If he hadn’t then it would have been a different story x

You would be surprised about what awful crimes some parents do but are legally allowed to still see their children. If a court deems that OPs ex can have access there will be nothing she can do to stop it

@Redebs you are being vile and just plain nasty.

The OP called the police as soon as she found out from her ex partner what he had done. So yes she did call the police on her partner. Yes there was an investigation underway but SHE called the police on her partner!

Perhaps you could do with taking off your judgmental glasses actually reading the OPs posts and learning some comprehension skills. Perhaps then you will be less of a judgmental arse!