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Original poster

Sons dad fractured 3 of my sons ribs

483 replies

lockdownmummax · 27/03/2023 13:57

Looking for advice,

Long one, on Wednesday morning I noticed my baby was unsettled and had a cut on his ear, he was grunting and I noticed a bruise on his hand, I took him to GP and she called social services, we where referred to hospital for suspected child abuse, I really thought some sort of freak accident happened, I never suspected my then partner ( sons dad ) at the time at all, however scans revealed 3 fractured ribs, on Saturday my sons dad told me he thinks he's done this out of a moment of frustration as he couldn't settle our son... he squeezed him, we told the police, the police arrested him yesterday morning, he is out and waiting to give another statement and charges

However social services have informed me today I am not aloud to be around my 2 children unsupervised, they will stay with my mum, I can't take them home or anything I am devestated as I haven't done this and told the police when my sons dad told me,

I am also struggling to come to terms with this as my sons dad is not an aggressive person and really never suspected this, anyone know what will happen with social services will I get to take my children home eventually

OP posts:
ChristineCricket · 25/04/2023 13:49

I know you don’t like the restrictions you are under, but ss have a good understanding of the risk. You would be amazed how many women will go back to men who have abused them or their children, despite saying all the right things.
Most important thing is that the three of you are now safe. Everything else will follow with time.

EyesOnThePies · 25/04/2023 14:24

Well done OP, this does sound so hard, and your experience really illuminates the wider impact of these abusive men on the whole family. But you are doing all the right things and what will be the best for your children in the long run.

I think the Freedom Programme might give you emotional support and validation and help you feel stronger. Hope you find it useful, anyway. I did some of it as part of other training and found it really interesting for lots of aspects of life.

How is it, living with your Mum?

Floralnomad · 25/04/2023 15:53

Sending best wishes your way @lockdownmummax , I’ve nothing constructive to add as this is way beyond my depth of experience . 💐

SharonKaren · 25/04/2023 19:15

Sending you lots of love and positive energy op, stay strong. Ss are a joke in this country. But you have your dc, they're safe that's what matters. You'll all be fine 💐.

Oysterbabe · 25/04/2023 19:47

Your children are so lucky they have you to stick up for them and keep them safe. It's hard now but you'll have them back soon.

menopausalbloat · 26/04/2023 14:14

Makes my piss boil that he's free to walk around whilst you feel like the criminal.
I wish you all the best for your future. Big hugs mama. x

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 26/04/2023 16:59

Mums really do get the rough deal in situations like yours. There should be something in place so that he is bailed to a hostel or something, with restrictions so he can't come near you or family, so that you can return home. I agree with other posters, getting support from women's aid and doing the freedom programme will help you with putting things in place to move forward and regain your strength emotionally to be a strong mamma for your bairns.

ScrollingLeaves · 27/04/2023 21:07

You are doing so well, and your children are lucky to have you. Don’t forget care for yourself as much as you can. The Freedom
programme is part of that, but also trying to take time for some things you like. 💐🌸🌺🌷

pepsirolla · 01/05/2023 21:26

So glad to hear you all safe, you are being so strong. Best wishes for your futures💐

Original poster
lockdownmummax · 22/11/2023 16:45

Just wanted to provide an update on this thread,

Baby is fully healed and is approaching 11 months now, he is a happy healthy and loving little boy who eats like food is going out of fashion lol, he has such a great sense of humour and makes me laugh everyday,
My toddler is doing much better now but we are going through an autism diagnosis so just plodding a long with that and trying to educate myself on autism to help her,
We are back home now in our own house, it was a long journey but we are here, had a few bumps along the road I got diagnosed with PTSD and went through feeling suicidal for a period of time, I got put on sertaline and anxiety tablets called papanalol I am off them now and feeling much better,
I have returned to university and doing great there meeting some new friends,
Lots of days out and Christmas activities and trying to live as normal as we can,
I am a witness in the court case so that is approaching and I feel nervous but that's okay,
I want to thank everyone for there kind comments! And for those who where not so kind I don't have any words apart from educate yourself on victim shaming? I attend woman and childrens first now and really want to do some work to help mums and children in these situations in the future,
Xx

OP posts:
Zooeyzo · 22/11/2023 16:53

Good to hear all is well OP. Best wishes for both your babies. Going through the autism diagnosis as well as coming to terms with all it means is challenging so stay strong

slowquickstep · 22/11/2023 17:43

Great to see your update and i am so glad that the 3 of you are doing well x

Binglebong · 22/11/2023 18:28

Wonderful news. I hope you are being kind to yourself too.

TheSpikySpinosaurus · 22/11/2023 18:58

That's a great update. Well done. Truly. And be kind to yourself 💐

georgarina · 22/11/2023 19:25

Your children are very lucky to have you x

SaturdayGiraffe · 22/11/2023 19:38

I hope the justice system does a good job.

MyriadOfTravels · 22/11/2023 19:53

Very nice to see you have settled down and things have gone back to a more normal pace.
Well done re returning to University!

It’s a really good update!

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 22/11/2023 21:21

It's so good to read your update. The best outcome is living your life well and making a success of it. I hope the court case goes as well as it can do, get support from court advocacy if you need it.

MadeForThis · 22/11/2023 23:21

Good luck with your course. Stay strong.

Longdarkcloud · 22/11/2023 23:40

Thank you for the great update. You are a terrific mum and are providing your DCs with a loving home and a positive role model.
Have a great Christmas with your little ones

Tatumm · 23/11/2023 00:00

Thank you for the update. Wishing you the very best 🌺

nocoolnamesleft · 23/11/2023 00:22

Thank you for the update. You're really building a whole new safer better life together for you and your children. Well done.

Maddy70 · 23/11/2023 00:27

lockdownmummax · 22/11/2023 16:45

Just wanted to provide an update on this thread,

Baby is fully healed and is approaching 11 months now, he is a happy healthy and loving little boy who eats like food is going out of fashion lol, he has such a great sense of humour and makes me laugh everyday,
My toddler is doing much better now but we are going through an autism diagnosis so just plodding a long with that and trying to educate myself on autism to help her,
We are back home now in our own house, it was a long journey but we are here, had a few bumps along the road I got diagnosed with PTSD and went through feeling suicidal for a period of time, I got put on sertaline and anxiety tablets called papanalol I am off them now and feeling much better,
I have returned to university and doing great there meeting some new friends,
Lots of days out and Christmas activities and trying to live as normal as we can,
I am a witness in the court case so that is approaching and I feel nervous but that's okay,
I want to thank everyone for there kind comments! And for those who where not so kind I don't have any words apart from educate yourself on victim shaming? I attend woman and childrens first now and really want to do some work to help mums and children in these situations in the future,
Xx

Wonderful update. The lead up to giving evidence is actually much worse than actually doing it. You'll be fine. Don't over talk. Just answer the questions. You've got this

Floralnomad · 23/11/2023 00:42

It sounds like you are doing really well @lockdownmummax , long May that continue .

LiliLil · 23/11/2023 07:40

This is such a lovely update to read. I don’t know you and I feel really proud of you - you’ve made sure you’re children are safe, reached out for mental health support and returned to Uni to better your future. Amazing achievements!

I am so pleased your little one is doing well, be brave at the court case. You did nothing wrong, the shame is not yours.

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