Sons dad fractured 3 of my sons ribs

[lockdownmummax]

Looking for advice,

Long one, on Wednesday morning I noticed my baby was unsettled and had a cut on his ear, he was grunting and I noticed a bruise on his hand, I took him to GP and she called social services, we where referred to hospital for suspected child abuse, I really thought some sort of freak accident happened, I never suspected my then partner ( sons dad ) at the time at all, however scans revealed 3 fractured ribs, on Saturday my sons dad told me he thinks he's done this out of a moment of frustration as he couldn't settle our son... he squeezed him, we told the police, the police arrested him yesterday morning, he is out and waiting to give another statement and charges

However social services have informed me today I am not aloud to be around my 2 children unsupervised, they will stay with my mum, I can't take them home or anything I am devestated as I haven't done this and told the police when my sons dad told me,

I am also struggling to come to terms with this as my sons dad is not an aggressive person and really never suspected this, anyone know what will happen with social services will I get to take my children home eventually

OP you need to fully engage with social work, the police and medical teams. Ask social work for help to ensure your partner cannot get access to your children. He actually cannot have supervised access at all as far as I am aware. He could have killed your baby. Make sure social work know you and him are finished and you and your kids will not be seeing him again. You will not get your children back unless social work are sure your relationship is over and your children are safe

Why on earth would you want him to have access to a child he has abused?
SS will be very firm on this. If you allow him anywhere near your children they will be taken into care.
Don't let this happen

What a horrible shock for you.

These situations can go on for months, and rightly so, it needs to be properly investigated. That means your children might not be in your care for months. These situations can also go pear shaped very quickly. I don't want to worry you but you could lose your children. Speak to your lawyer and comply with everything social care ask if you. Keep up clear communication with the social worker.

Your relationship is over, you can never go back, if you do your children will be removed. That's certain.

As far as I can tell you’ve done everything right. Cooperate with the investigation and keep going. You will be with all your babies soon xx

Fair enough OP, you have been in relationships and had children with two abusive men. I would recommend doing the freedom programme.

Your poor baby, this has broke me today, he must of been in so much pain.

As for your absolute vile cretin of a partner, I hope he sees time inside for it.

If you are even contemplating supporting this man (and I use the term lightly) through this, please do the right thing and get care for your children. If SS don't already make that clear.

OP, what a dreadful shock. Your poor baby.

You have done all the right things:
Taken your baby to the GP as soon as you thought something was wrong, and the morning after the injury occurred
Cooperated with SS and police
Finished the relationship.

Your children are safe with your Mum, SS just need to make sure they are safe while they do a thorough investigation. Of course they have to do this, they might ask for an examination of all your children and / or interview them. To establish that you are not abusing them and check that your ex has not abused them too. It’s just the process, and I’m sure you can see why.

Ask SS and police any questions you have for them, hold tight and carry on cooperating with SS.

also want to clarify as think people are confused

my sons dad never told me what he done until we where in hospital and police investigation had already started, so I took baby to gp Wednesday 22nd, sons dad told me on Saturday 25th about what he done, he said it happened on Tuesday 21sy
If he told me after it happened I would have taken baby straight to hospital

I cannot imagine the shock for you.

It sounds like you are doing everything you need to.

Social Services have also done the right thing in removing the children - for now - just while the facts are established.

Perhaps its worth calling something like Womens Aid or CAB for advice on how to also now remove him from the house/your life and get yourself sorted.

I would never, ever allow him near the children without supervision ever again.

Why are you even worried about your son having contact with his father at this point?
He might have killed him.

He will have known he broke ribs. I broke someone’s ribs doing CPR and could feel it happening. He must have put a huge amount of force through his body. If I close my eyes I can still think about it now and it was 16 years ago and feel guilty about it now . That poor, poor baby.

Are you allowed to stay at your mums too ? I really hope so as your dc need their mum

@Redebs
Yes my first born is a girl, her father was abusive to me and a bad father ( she does not see him and I've fought tooth and nail for this to happen)
I did not expect my sons dad to do this at all, I've spoke to all my family and they are very shocked as well, my sons dad has never been abusive to me; this incident has came out of the blue and as soon as he told me I have called the police
I can protect my babies they are my life, it's the men that are the problem here...
I agree my judgement of men must be terrible

Keep him the fuck away from your child
for as long as legally possible. He must have behaved seriously violently to fracture ribs ffs!

Fortunately for your DS, babies bones do heal quickly (my DDs birth was difficult and she was born with a fractured arm which healed in days).

PPs do have a point though - you’ve been in two relationships with two abusive men, so it’s worth working on yourself to ensure that doesn’t happen again!

If you had known he injured his baby, why didn't you call police straight away?
Even if the broken ribs weren't detected until you took baby to hospital (hospital? why not GP? Did you suspect something serious?) you still had a baby with a bruised hand and damaged ear. Those are extremely suspicious injuries in a baby that's not walking yet.

I understand what you are saying about access OP. There appears to be a wilful lack of reading comprehension amongst some posters desperate to hold you to account for your baby's fathers vile actions.

I read it that you have spoken to a lawyer . The lawyer has been honest with you and warned you that there is a possibility he may get some form of access in the future and you have asked if it's possible that it can be supervised if this does ever happen ?

You have done everything right. Contacted GP as soon as realised something wrong and reported to police as soon as you knew the reason and the perpetrator.

I am also guessing your daughter has a different dad ?
Keep cooperating with all agencies and police . This is the fastest way to get your children home with you. In the meantime stay with your mum and TRY to get your head around this and maybe look at the freedom programme online .

@Minfilia
I absolutely agree my judgement of men must be terrible, as I really did not expect this from him at all
You know I have had times where my baby's haven't stopped crying and I start to feel stressed and flustered but I put them down in a safe place, take a couple minutes to myself and then try settle baby again, if that didnt work I'd take them out a walk in the pram
I just don't understand why this has happened
Doctors said baby's ribs will heal themselves which I am releaved about been so horrible seeing baby in pain and not being able to do anything
When I found out baby had fractured ribs I wa scared to pick him up incase I hurt him or made them worse

God broken ribs are fucking painful, my partner cracked 2 of his at Christmas and hes still sore now, so poor baby must be in agony

You are very lucky that the guy (he’s not a dad!) didn’t kill your baby. You really, really need to focus on your babies and nothing else, you may even consider therapy.
You shouldn’t either assume that because of baby’s short age he won’t develop a trauma, science has proven the long lasting effects of trauma in early stages.

I think OP means she didn't know the father had caused the injury until Saturday, at which point she did immediately call the police. She had previously (on Wednesday) taken the baby to the GP as he was out of sorts.

@Myonlysunshine123
He does seem in pain it's terrible, last night and today he seems to be a bit more happy and smiling so I am hoping this is them starting to heal

I think people are being very unfair on OP.

OP you say that the children will be in the care of your mum, it’s great that you can stay with them. This situation will probably continue until SS conclude their investigation. However, provided your partner is out of your lives I have confidence that you will eventually be granted full custody. Try to cooperate as much as your can with your social workers and just follow the process.

11 weeks old Jesus Christ. Get the fuck away from this monster forever. Prove you will keep your children safe from him.

I'm so sorry OP. You sound like a very caring parent and you've done the right thing going to the police.

In my experience, men who do these kinds of things don't start by breaking a baby's ribs, but this is where it needs to stop.

You need to engage as best as possible with both social services and the police - and it sounds like you are doing - so that they can get to the truth of the matter and you can be reunited with your babies. Whatever happens, try to stay caring and non defensive.