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Original poster

Sons dad fractured 3 of my sons ribs

483 replies

lockdownmummax · 27/03/2023 13:57

Looking for advice,

Long one, on Wednesday morning I noticed my baby was unsettled and had a cut on his ear, he was grunting and I noticed a bruise on his hand, I took him to GP and she called social services, we where referred to hospital for suspected child abuse, I really thought some sort of freak accident happened, I never suspected my then partner ( sons dad ) at the time at all, however scans revealed 3 fractured ribs, on Saturday my sons dad told me he thinks he's done this out of a moment of frustration as he couldn't settle our son... he squeezed him, we told the police, the police arrested him yesterday morning, he is out and waiting to give another statement and charges

However social services have informed me today I am not aloud to be around my 2 children unsupervised, they will stay with my mum, I can't take them home or anything I am devestated as I haven't done this and told the police when my sons dad told me,

I am also struggling to come to terms with this as my sons dad is not an aggressive person and really never suspected this, anyone know what will happen with social services will I get to take my children home eventually

OP posts:
Novatherova · 27/03/2023 22:17

This reply has been deleted

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MNHQ
LilyMumsnet · 27/03/2023 22:21

Hi all

We're closing this thread overnight and we will reopen it in the morning.

MrNook · 28/03/2023 16:31

This threads turned nasty. OP hasn't done anything wrong, she's moved out, she's not with the dad anymore, she called the police when he admitted what he'd done. She's done everything right.

Newuser82 · 28/03/2023 17:21

MrNook · 28/03/2023 16:31

This threads turned nasty. OP hasn't done anything wrong, she's moved out, she's not with the dad anymore, she called the police when he admitted what he'd done. She's done everything right.

I totally agree.

Puppers · 28/03/2023 17:39

This reply has been hidden

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

sunmonlight · 28/03/2023 17:49

Your poor baby.

It sounds like you are taking the right steps so far.

LimeCheesecake · 28/03/2023 18:34

OP, if you come back to this thread, one thing no one seems to have touched upon - does your son’s father have any family ? You might feel under pressure to give access to paternal grandparents /your exP’s siblings /any cousins of your DS etc. Don’t do this until all Social Services and police investigations have been completed, and then possibly not then.

Make sure your mum also knows no contact with his family.

gkhg · 28/03/2023 22:25

MrNook · 28/03/2023 16:31

This threads turned nasty. OP hasn't done anything wrong, she's moved out, she's not with the dad anymore, she called the police when he admitted what he'd done. She's done everything right.

I agree, I think what people clung onto was the fact she considered supervised contact in the future. But she's probably so shell shocked she has no idea what's right and wrong right now, and he's probably manipulative. I hope she has lots of support irl

saraclara · 28/03/2023 22:28

gkhg · 28/03/2023 22:25

I agree, I think what people clung onto was the fact she considered supervised contact in the future. But she's probably so shell shocked she has no idea what's right and wrong right now, and he's probably manipulative. I hope she has lots of support irl

Show quote history

She DID NOT consider supervised contact in the future. She WORRIED about him getting supervised access. That's pretty much the opposite of considering letting him have it.

Again, people are skimming her posts instead of actually reading and comprehending them.

gkhg · 28/03/2023 22:32

@saraclara I see, my mistake!

saraclara · 28/03/2023 22:54

gkhg · 28/03/2023 22:32

@saraclara I see, my mistake!

You're a rarity on Mumsnet. So have a Duggee Mea Culpa badge! 😉

Seriously though, I can't think when I last saw someone say 'sorry, I was wrong' on here. Thanks for restoring my faith in human nature!

TheMamaYo · 28/03/2023 22:57

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Hope the little one recovers soon.

FellOnMyArseToDay · 29/03/2023 14:20

Op. It’s me again. I hope you are ok. You’ve done everything right. Be gentle with yourself x

Oysterbabe · 29/03/2023 17:12

How is everything going OP?

strugglingstmw · 30/03/2023 00:07

Hi OP, I have come back to let you know I'm thinking of you and your two babes. I hope you're holding up ok and that little one is recovering well.
You're doing great, keep going.

My best wishes. X

AngelDelightUK · 31/03/2023 22:31

Hope you’re ok OP

Original poster
lockdownmummax · 02/04/2023 13:46

@Oysterbabe
Awk I'm just not feeling the best, feel quite down and hopeless just now, I have reached out to my GP for some counselling,
Still having to stay at my mums under 24/7 supervision with kids social work are carrying out an investigation in hoping this changes soon,
baby is doing much better he doesn't seem in pain any longer which is good

OP posts:
weirdoboelady · 02/04/2023 17:12

Hugs. Hoping social services will get their act together so you can go home to an arse free (DH free) zone very soon xx

pontipinemum · 02/04/2023 21:47

That's great that the baby isn't in pain and is doing well.

I can only imagine how down you feel. The GP was a good call and hopefully they will help.

It must be so hard going through all this. I'm glad you have your mum to support you.

letthemalldoone · 05/04/2023 19:25

lockdownmummax · 02/04/2023 13:46

@Oysterbabe
Awk I'm just not feeling the best, feel quite down and hopeless just now, I have reached out to my GP for some counselling,
Still having to stay at my mums under 24/7 supervision with kids social work are carrying out an investigation in hoping this changes soon,
baby is doing much better he doesn't seem in pain any longer which is good

This is the worst bit remember. You have your babies safe and sound and your mum has your back. Hang on in there x

Original poster
lockdownmummax · 25/04/2023 10:18

Just wanted to provide an update on this thread,

No further forward really, sons dad still not been sentenced CID think it may take a year till it goes to trial which is stressing me out...

this weekend I have been analysing every single text message between the two of us since my son was born, noticed some red flags as in he wasn't coping with kids, the day before this happened I was at the GP for my 3rd course of antibiotics for a nasty case of tonsillitis he text when I was at GP asking if kids could go somewhere for a few days as he wasn't coping, I said no they can't go anywhere but he can go to his mums himself if he wants...

I now hate him but trying to keep my cool as I'm driving myself nuts with it, the story he told isn't adding up for me so I have been driving myself crazy trying to peace together every moment of the day before I took baby to GP I actually got my laptop out and made a timeframe but it's not helping me just wish I could know the truth of what happened

As for baby he is doing sooo much better not in any pain and smiling all of the time,

SS put kids on CPP, SS don't think I am a risk of harming the children or neglect but they have said because my sons dad is out on bail the risk is high so we will have to live with my mum for the time being but my aim it to get them home i am wanting to move somewhere he doesn't know where we are staying but it will take time to get that sorted,
as for now I have removed him from tennancy agreement, his mum collected the majority of his stuff from the house, I'll need to go pack the rest to give to his mum but the house just brings me anxiety when I am in it but needs to be done,

Absolutely horrible situation and feel we have been failed because the talk is now he may not get jail time due to previous good charector, clean criminal record and mental
Health problems but meantime me and the kids are suffering because he is out on bail
SS also advised me he is co-operating with SW which is positive and will likely get supervised contact in the same meeting there telling me we have to stay at my mums with a protective adult supervising us as he is out on bail

OP posts:
Stuck999 · 25/04/2023 10:59

What an utter joke.

So you have to stay at your mums, uproot all of your lives.. so SS can be satisfied you don't see him / allow him access to the children.

..and social services want him to have access.

Why is it the mothers who pay the price for these cunts.

Its the mothers and children who suffer for the actions of the man, the man suffers nothing and then to add insult to injury they say he should get access.

Just no.

If he's that much of a threat he breaks a babies bones there should be zero access. At all. Ever again.

The system is misogynistic and makes no sense.

Zooeyzo · 25/04/2023 11:00

Glad to hear baby is doing well.

Original poster
lockdownmummax · 25/04/2023 11:08

@Stuck999

I know it's really unfair I said this to the SW and they said unfortunately in these situations the brunt of it falls on the mother...
it's just so so wrong we clearly know my sons dad is a risk to the kids, so if the risk is so high that I have to stay at my mums and not leave the house alone with my kids why the hell is he not in the jail!

it's ashame for my toddler she is 3 and is so confused, she is having to move nursery I've not been able to take her out anywhere because these rules, she was really settled in nursery now having to move, she has not been able to see her family because everyone needs cleared and put on supervisors list, I can't even take toddler to park that is a 1 minute walk from my mums house without my mum being there and I'm just thinking I feel like the criminal here it's ridiculous, SW want me to do a freedom programme which I am happy to do but I explained to SW no man will be coming into my life anytime soon and if I do meet someone years down the line my kids won't be involved to much damage been done to them already and I've had enough now no one will be doing as much as upsetting my kids again

Scandalous, my uncle is a lawyer who agree's it doesn't sound fair so he is coming to the next meeting with me, just ridiculous

OP posts:
Emdubz · 25/04/2023 12:56

Thanks for updating the thread and whilst it’s still ongoing and your life feels upside down it’s great to hear that baby is doing well. Sending you very best wishes.