2 and a half year old still on baby bottles

[sommeliermama]

My partner has a 2 and a half year old daughter who spends 2 days/nights with us a week. Obviously she is not my child but I am involved with looking after her as those 2 days are my only days off from work.

Am I being unreasonable to think it's strange she is still drinking milk several times a day from a baby bottle? I have asked my partner to buy her sippy cups but he hasn't listened It just looks so odd to me especially when we are in public.

She also demands milk at bedtime every night, which she is allowed to drink in bed. I am getting tired of our guest bedroom smelling like stale milk and having to constantly change the bedsheets where she has dropped it.

This will all sound like a bit of a rant but I want to know if it's normal or shout I put my foot down a bit harder on the issue. I am expecting my own baby this summer and can't imagine still giving them a baby bottle when they're approaching 3 years old!

She's not your child, so you don't get to "put your foot down harder". However, I agree that she shouldn't be on bottles still if she is typically developing.
What you can do is not procreate with a bloke who is shit at parenting...

Bugger, apologies, just saw you actually are. But late for that then!
If your doing everything right as far as possible with your own DC, you can but hope he gets on board faster than he has with his first child.

Put your foot down? In what way

I have a 3year old who likes tea from a baby bottle before bed as a comfort and hasn't hindered her development

Also have twins approaching 2 who also still get milk in a bottle before bed.

I pick my battles.

need to encourage him to get rid and wean them off it. So bad for their teeth and they aren’t a baby anymore so looks odd. Have a convo with him show him the nhs advice etc when they want milk in the day offer something else like a piece of fruit or a yoghurt a nearly 3 year old doesn’t need milk in bottles in the day

It is lazy parenting. Children at that age can have a cup of milk in the evening. If he is giving the child a bottle to go to bed with, what’s his bedtime routine with the child look like?

why are you doing the care of the toddler? How much of the cooking, bathing, reading, organising the day with his child does your partner do? Is it all him and you just there in the background?

It's terrible for teeth!

Surely he can sort the smelly bedding? Having a baby with a crap df wasn't a fab idea op...

It's not normal no and it's horrendous for their teeth. Not to mention if she is having it multiple times a day she may not be hungry for food / not getting all she needs nutritionally. As for putting your foot down not much you can do as she isn't yours but perhaps encourage him / child's mum to have a chat to the health visitor about it.

My partner has a 2 and a half year old daughter who spends 2 days/nights with us a week. Obviously she is not my child but I am involved with looking after her as those 2 days are my only days off from work

Are you looking after her alone or is her Dad present?

Am I being unreasonable to think it's strange she is still drinking milk several times a day from a baby bottle?

Yes YABU. It's not your business.

I have asked my partner to buy her sippy cups but he hasn't listened It just looks so odd to me especially when we are in public.

So your concern is what other people think?

FWIW I would think nothing of a 2 year old drinking milk from a bottle.

She also demands milk at bedtime every night, which she is allowed to drink in bed. I am getting tired of our guest bedroom smelling like stale milk and having to constantly change the bedsheets where she has dropped it.

Demands! She is 2 ffs. It's her normal routine. Why can't her Dad sort the sheets out?

This will all sound like a bit of a rant but I want to know if it's normal or shout I put my foot down a bit harder on the issue.

It's not up to you to put your foot down. Aside from the issue where you are changing the sheets, that's the only thing I would be raising. How someone else's child drinks their milk is not your business.

I am expecting my own baby this summer and can't imagine still giving them a baby bottle when they're approaching 3 years ol

Bless your ignorance. It all changes when you have the child.

I mean "put my foot down" because I care about this child and she is living in my flat 2 days a week. I don't think she needs to be treated like a baby when she isn't one any more. For example she still uses a dummy frequently and has very crooked teeth and speaks with a lisp. I don't know if that's 100% because of the dummy but I'm sure it has played a part.

Of course he does most of the parenting because he is the parent and not me. But I do help out, I do all her laundry and will look after her if he needs to go out for whatever reason.

Milk at bedtime is totally normal for a small child, as long as her teeth are brushed afterwards it's fine.

During the day, as long as she's able to drink from a sippy cup when needed, and as long as she will drink water (not just milk as it's naturally sugary so should only be drunk with meals or before tooth brushing) then it's fine.

In any case, you're not her mum, it's not your place to dictate how she drinks or eats.

Are they getting enough solids? That would be my concern. Also are they bringing their teeth after, because I think that's really bad for their teeth and gums and likely to cause issues later in life

Brushing!

I think if she is only with you 2 nights a week it is hard to address. Essentially her parents need to decide when she should stop having a bottle not you. But it would really grate on me and I would find it hard to live with. I would stop washing and making any bottles and let her dad do this , get him to clean the bed etc . I would buy snippy cup or offer a drink in a cup and let him to bottles if he wants. It is a choking hazard too to have a bottle in bed.

I do all her laundry
why? You’re not doing his as well are you?

you have your own flat. That’s good. Does he have his own place to live too? Of he has moved into your flat, what were his living arrangements before that for him and his child?

@PaigeMatthews yes I do pretty much all the laundry. He does help out with other stuff though.

And we share this flat together, paying 50% each. We both own other property but it is rented out. Before we got this flat in September he was living in his house most days and would have his daughter there

Yea is not suitable for a child to drink

My eldest was 3 or 4 when she gave up milk in a bottle. She gave up dummies at 6.

That's what worked for us. Her teeth are perfect and she's a well adjusted, good citizen in her 20's now.

Advice is just that. This little girls parents have made this decision for her. As you will for your child, and its easy to judge when it's not your child.

I did dilute my dd's milk til it was more water than milk as it was definitely the sucking that was soothing for her.

My oldest was 3.5yo when they gave up their bottle. They are now 7 and I look back on it and think what does it matter. It is the same for other milestones. When they’re ready, they’re ready.

It's not suitable for sure, and the main issue is that he isn't bothered about sorting it. I hope you think hard before having kids with him.

Also think it's a bit odd that she comes to stay with her dad regularly but sleeps in the guest room. Why isn't it her room? Keep the double bed, in case of guests when she isn't there. But actually calling it a guest room is odd.

My child had milk in a bottle ages after she "should" have stopped because it was the only way I could get her to drink milk. She didn't have it in the bedroom though so I didn't have the laundry issues.

Wouldn't want my kid to be doing that, but I don't mind what other children do.

Absolutely essential that they not have bottles after brushing teeth tho.

In your situation I'd look up an article on bottles after brushing teeth, share it with oh, listen to what he says, if he doesn't want to stop for his child I'd say something along the lines of, ok, that's up to you, but I want to let you know our child will not be allowed a bottle after brushing teeth.

Then leave it there.

He needs to up his hours parenting his child (feeding, bathing, laundry etc) because otherwise you will be doing everything with him just 'helping' when the baby arrives. Now's the time to get routines sorted!

I was on a bottle at age 5! My mother couldn’t get it off me but I was cured of the habit when I started school and everyone laughed 😂

My daughter wouldn’t let go of hers but I didn’t want to make it an issue until she reached 3.

People are so overly worried about timing. Let nature take its course. We all manage to get there in the end. So what if she is on it a bit longer?