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2 and a half year old still on baby bottles
sommeliermama · 18/03/2023 09:54
My partner has a 2 and a half year old daughter who spends 2 days/nights with us a week. Obviously she is not my child but I am involved with looking after her as those 2 days are my only days off from work.
Am I being unreasonable to think it's strange she is still drinking milk several times a day from a baby bottle? I have asked my partner to buy her sippy cups but he hasn't listened It just looks so odd to me especially when we are in public.
She also demands milk at bedtime every night, which she is allowed to drink in bed. I am getting tired of our guest bedroom smelling like stale milk and having to constantly change the bedsheets where she has dropped it.
This will all sound like a bit of a rant but I want to know if it's normal or shout I put my foot down a bit harder on the issue. I am expecting my own baby this summer and can't imagine still giving them a baby bottle when they're approaching 3 years old!
Newnamenewname109870 · 19/03/2023 18:41
Kranke · 19/03/2023 18:02
It’s not ideal, but I do feel sorry for the little girl. How would you feel if your husband and you split up when your baby is tiny, he then impregnates another woman quickly after, and this new woman is giving opinions on how your child should be raised (when she doesn’t have one of her own yet!). Personally I’d not be too happy!
I know! 😠it’s clearly a comfort for her. Give her a break.
Lelophants · 19/03/2023 18:44
EmilyGilmoresSass · 19/03/2023 15:13
You've a bit of a nerve criticising people's parenting when you don't yet have your own children.
Also a tad silly to imply your boyfriend is a shit parent and then reproduce with him yourself.
Also feel sorry for this poor child who's parents have separated and reproduced again in the short 2.5 years of her life, and already being left to be looked after by her parents lovers
sommeliermama · 18/03/2023 10:16
I mean "put my foot down" because I care about this child and she is living in my flat 2 days a week. I don't think she needs to be treated like a baby when she isn't one any more. For example she still uses a dummy frequently and has very crooked teeth and speaks with a lisp. I don't know if that's 100% because of the dummy but I'm sure it has played a part.
Of course he does most of the parenting because he is the parent and not me. But I do help out, I do all her laundry and will look after her if he needs to go out for whatever reason.
Yep
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 19:23
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:07
So many people on here projecting their bitterness.
Thank you to everyone else who commented with genuine advice - all has been read and taken in!
It’s concern for a very young child who has obviously already been through a lot in her very short life. The fact you fail to see that and have jumped straight into a pregnancy with a man you must barely know is quite worrying tbh. Poor girl :(
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:25
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 19:23
It’s concern for a very young child who has obviously already been through a lot in her very short life. The fact you fail to see that and have jumped straight into a pregnancy with a man you must barely know is quite worrying tbh. Poor girl :(
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:07
So many people on here projecting their bitterness.
Thank you to everyone else who commented with genuine advice - all has been read and taken in!
We've been together a year and a half. Stay in your own business
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 19:26
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:25
We've been together a year and a half. Stay in your own business
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 19:23
It’s concern for a very young child who has obviously already been through a lot in her very short life. The fact you fail to see that and have jumped straight into a pregnancy with a man you must barely know is quite worrying tbh. Poor girl :(
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:07
So many people on here projecting their bitterness.
Thank you to everyone else who commented with genuine advice - all has been read and taken in!
You’ve proved my point spectacularly, thank you.
mathanxiety · 19/03/2023 19:32
Does she ever drink any liquid from a cup?
If no, then she needs to get started on that during the daytime.
Her parents are holding her back for some reason and you need to push hard for this compromise
Her teeth are going to rot if she doesn't brush them after her bedtime milk. This needs to become part of the routine.
It's fine to have a bedtime drink of milk as long as teeth get brushed afterwards. Is it possible the milk is a comfort to her when she's away from her mother?
EmilyGilmoresSass · 19/03/2023 19:52
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 19:26
You’ve proved my point spectacularly, thank you.
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:25
We've been together a year and a half. Stay in your own business
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 19:23
It’s concern for a very young child who has obviously already been through a lot in her very short life. The fact you fail to see that and have jumped straight into a pregnancy with a man you must barely know is quite worrying tbh. Poor girl :(
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:07
So many people on here projecting their bitterness.
Thank you to everyone else who commented with genuine advice - all has been read and taken in!
🤣
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:55
@mathanxiety she does drink other liquids, usually water but it's often put in a baby bottle. Milk is her first choice.
Unfortunately her teeth don't get brushed at night because she goes to bed with the milk and then falls asleep. My partner isn't good at saying no to her and I don't like to nag him because, as has been said by lots of others in this thread, I don't get to have an opinion.
Her mum allows her to go to sleep with milk too so her teeth won't be being brushed at home either
Tina8800 · 19/03/2023 20:05
I totally get your frustration.
Yes, milk before bed is normal but they should have it from a cup when they 2 and half years old, not in a bottle leaking all over the bed.
It's funny how everyone here is freaks about the teeth yet if the child was breastfed that would be ok at this age? I think when they drink milk from the bottle, they should be trained from 12 months on with different cups. I did this and my 14 months old doesn't use baby bottles anymore. I don't think it's about the teeth it's about they have to learn to give up things when it's time.
I really don't think it's normal and you need to push this with your partner. Yes, you are not the birth parent but the child is with you twice a week and that's makes you responsible for her! You have a right to discusse how you feel about things and your partner should consider your feeling and advice. He propably just want to take the easy road and not mess things up with the mother but it is not good for the child! I would definitely push this, you have every right to do it!
jannier · 19/03/2023 20:15
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:55
@mathanxiety she does drink other liquids, usually water but it's often put in a baby bottle. Milk is her first choice.
Unfortunately her teeth don't get brushed at night because she goes to bed with the milk and then falls asleep. My partner isn't good at saying no to her and I don't like to nag him because, as has been said by lots of others in this thread, I don't get to have an opinion.
Her mum allows her to go to sleep with milk too so her teeth won't be being brushed at home either
This is really dangerous milk can pool in mouth and get into lungs, children with teeth can also cheq the teat breaking bits off in their sleep.
Milk should be great ven 20 minutes before brushing teeth as it softens enamel and you need to wait
custardbear · 19/03/2023 21:00
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:07
So many people on here projecting their bitterness.
Thank you to everyone else who commented with genuine advice - all has been read and taken in!
It's not bitterness - it's observing language you've used which frankly sounds like you feel firstly the step daughter isn't welcomed into what should be her dads home, secondly that you put yourself over and above two current parents, yet you yourself have no experience and also have no regard that poor child has had what can only be described as a salt shaker life, no stability, everything changing frequently.
Bitter?! Why? How?!
Inkypot · 19/03/2023 21:12
Keep an eye on the crooked teeth and maybe it's worth speaking to the child's mum or seeing if dad will take her along to the dentist. Could be something, could be nothing.
My eldest was 2.5 yrs when his little sister came along. He stopped using bottles a couple of months later as associated them with the baby by then and was happy to be a big boy.
You might find she will be the same.
I'm sure we were all amazing parents in our heads with lots of strong opinions before actually having toddlers of our own though, I know I was. The reality isn't always the same as our expectations as you'll no doubt find over the next few years.
Hope your pregnancy and birth go well and congratulations on your baby!
Inkypot · 19/03/2023 21:13
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/03/2023 11:03
Also think it's a bit odd that she comes to stay with her dad regularly but sleeps in the guest room. Why isn't it her room? Keep the double bed, in case of guests when she isn't there. But actually calling it a guest room is odd.
I missed that! Good point, the child should have her own room at her dad's. She isn't a guest, she's his child!
mathanxiety · 19/03/2023 21:32
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 19:55
@mathanxiety she does drink other liquids, usually water but it's often put in a baby bottle. Milk is her first choice.
Unfortunately her teeth don't get brushed at night because she goes to bed with the milk and then falls asleep. My partner isn't good at saying no to her and I don't like to nag him because, as has been said by lots of others in this thread, I don't get to have an opinion.
Her mum allows her to go to sleep with milk too so her teeth won't be being brushed at home either
I really encourage you to introduce tooth brushing into the routine after the drink of milk.
If this isn't possible, then see if the milk can gradually be swapped for water.
Jannier makes a very good point about little bits of the teat being chewed off and causing a toddler to choke too.
I think both parents are taking the path of least resistance here, perhaps out of guilt for separating. What they're doing is making them feel better and not in the best interests of the child, if so.
When your baby arrives in the summer, you can sit the HV down and ask about weaning DSD off the milk. It can affect appetite for food, doesn't provide iron, and has a lot of sugar.
Busybutbored · 20/03/2023 01:24
Tina8800 · 19/03/2023 20:05
I totally get your frustration.
Yes, milk before bed is normal but they should have it from a cup when they 2 and half years old, not in a bottle leaking all over the bed.
It's funny how everyone here is freaks about the teeth yet if the child was breastfed that would be ok at this age? I think when they drink milk from the bottle, they should be trained from 12 months on with different cups. I did this and my 14 months old doesn't use baby bottles anymore. I don't think it's about the teeth it's about they have to learn to give up things when it's time.
I really don't think it's normal and you need to push this with your partner. Yes, you are not the birth parent but the child is with you twice a week and that's makes you responsible for her! You have a right to discusse how you feel about things and your partner should consider your feeling and advice. He propably just want to take the easy road and not mess things up with the mother but it is not good for the child! I would definitely push this, you have every right to do it!
Breastfeeding is physically different as it doesn't pool like milk from a bottle does. It's absolutely about the teeth (and gums)
PinkSyCo · 20/03/2023 04:32
Ah you are one of those perfect parents who isn’t even a parent yet. My favourites. No doubt judging this child’s mother within an inch of your life while your partner gets off Scot free. Obviously you know full well that her still drinking from a bottle is not ideal, so talk to her dad about stepping up and parenting.
Ladyofthesea · 20/03/2023 06:09
My two yo (and 3 months) still drinks milk from a bottle because she point blank won't drink from a cup. She is forward in everything else, walking, talking (6 word sentences), growing. It's the one thing she is behind on. I don't make it an issue but keep offering her cups daily. She'll probably grow out if it before she turns 18....
namechangeforthisbleep · 20/03/2023 06:34
custardbear · 19/03/2023 11:19
You don't sound like a natural step mum to be honest. The poor child needs space in her dads residence, perhaps she needs to comfort with warm milk.
In reality it's not your call. If it's your home maybe live separately so his child gets a place proper in her dads world
Stupid post
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