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2 and a half year old still on baby bottles
sommeliermama · 18/03/2023 09:54
My partner has a 2 and a half year old daughter who spends 2 days/nights with us a week. Obviously she is not my child but I am involved with looking after her as those 2 days are my only days off from work.
Am I being unreasonable to think it's strange she is still drinking milk several times a day from a baby bottle? I have asked my partner to buy her sippy cups but he hasn't listened It just looks so odd to me especially when we are in public.
She also demands milk at bedtime every night, which she is allowed to drink in bed. I am getting tired of our guest bedroom smelling like stale milk and having to constantly change the bedsheets where she has dropped it.
This will all sound like a bit of a rant but I want to know if it's normal or shout I put my foot down a bit harder on the issue. I am expecting my own baby this summer and can't imagine still giving them a baby bottle when they're approaching 3 years old!
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/03/2023 11:10
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/03/2023 11:02
It's not suitable for sure, and the main issue is that he isn't bothered about sorting it. I hope you think hard before having kids with him.
Oh I see now you are pregnant.
Well.... no doubt we will see more of you on the boards as his ineffective parenting starts to affect your child too.
mumof1or2 · 18/03/2023 11:26
sommeliermama · 18/03/2023 09:54
My partner has a 2 and a half year old daughter who spends 2 days/nights with us a week. Obviously she is not my child but I am involved with looking after her as those 2 days are my only days off from work.
Am I being unreasonable to think it's strange she is still drinking milk several times a day from a baby bottle? I have asked my partner to buy her sippy cups but he hasn't listened It just looks so odd to me especially when we are in public.
She also demands milk at bedtime every night, which she is allowed to drink in bed. I am getting tired of our guest bedroom smelling like stale milk and having to constantly change the bedsheets where she has dropped it.
This will all sound like a bit of a rant but I want to know if it's normal or shout I put my foot down a bit harder on the issue. I am expecting my own baby this summer and can't imagine still giving them a baby bottle when they're approaching 3 years old!
My son drank milk in bed from a baby bottle until he was 9! It was a comfort thing and while I did try a few times to get him off it, he really resisted and it was hard for him to go off to sleep without it. I decided to just wait til he grew out of it and eventually he did. He also drank milk from a bottle during the day until he was about 3 or 4 and it's not something I ever worried about. Your DSD won't still be using a bottle as a teenager so I wouldn't worry about it. She'll stop when she's ready and she's not doing any harm in the meantime.
In terms of the spill/smell. Baby bottles don't normally spill, even when lying on their side so that part is a bit weird. We never had that problem.
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/03/2023 21:00
premicrois · 18/03/2023 11:53
People judging the parents choice without knowing the child, you do know they are many reasons why a child could still be using a bottle aged 2, right?
Given that the OP lives part week with the child, I'd assume she knows her well enough to know if there are additional needs. And this would have formed part of her posts.
Oigetoffmylawn · 19/03/2023 10:57
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/03/2023 21:00
Given that the OP lives part week with the child, I'd assume she knows her well enough to know if there are additional needs. And this would have formed part of her posts.
premicrois · 18/03/2023 11:53
People judging the parents choice without knowing the child, you do know they are many reasons why a child could still be using a bottle aged 2, right?
That was my assumption too!
premicrois · 19/03/2023 11:02
Given that the OP lives part week with the child, I'd assume she knows her well enough to know if there are additional needs. And this would have formed part of her posts.
The thing is we don't always know why our child needs something at 2, we just know they do. We don't always know if they have additional needs, we just work with what we have got. I made many adjustments for my DS from babyhood rand he wasn't diagnosed until he was 9, does that mean I should have just treated him as I thought I should rather then what he needed? Of course not.
Also, OP has a stake in this game and it's not pro bottle; so even if their are minute signs or reasons it's unlikely OP will accept them.
Nobody should be judging the parents choice without all of the facts.
custardbear · 19/03/2023 11:19
You don't sound like a natural step mum to be honest. The poor child needs space in her dads residence, perhaps she needs to comfort with warm milk.
In reality it's not your call. If it's your home maybe live separately so his child gets a place proper in her dads world
blumppump · 19/03/2023 11:29
One of mine has additional needs. But they weren't diagnosed at 2. So I made accommodations for the child I had (which included bottles and dummies until well past 2) and got criticised and mocked and the child had the bottles and dummies grabbed out of their mouth by family members who thought I was a shit parent.
The child's needs didn't change just because they were diagnosed.
CupEmpty · 19/03/2023 14:07
Mine still has a bottle of milk with a cuddle at bedtime, teeth then done after. She’s 2.5. I worried about it but she was mostly breast fed and it helped wean her off. I’ve decided I don’t care. It’s really not the end of the world and she can use a cup normally etc at all other times.
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 14:35
custardbear · 19/03/2023 11:19
You don't sound like a natural step mum to be honest. The poor child needs space in her dads residence, perhaps she needs to comfort with warm milk.
In reality it's not your call. If it's your home maybe live separately so his child gets a place proper in her dads world
His residence is my residence, she used to have space when they lived in his own house but he decided to move in with me to our own place.
Saying I'm not a natural step mum isn't very helpful when you don't know me and telling me to live away from my partner isn't helpful either. I'm only looking out for this child's health as has been stated by lots of other replies, it's not good for her teeth.
namechange3394 · 19/03/2023 14:40
sommeliermama · 18/03/2023 10:16
I mean "put my foot down" because I care about this child and she is living in my flat 2 days a week. I don't think she needs to be treated like a baby when she isn't one any more. For example she still uses a dummy frequently and has very crooked teeth and speaks with a lisp. I don't know if that's 100% because of the dummy but I'm sure it has played a part.
Of course he does most of the parenting because he is the parent and not me. But I do help out, I do all her laundry and will look after her if he needs to go out for whatever reason.
She is living in your flat 2 days a week...but you refer to the room where she sleeps as the "guest bedroom"?
Where's she going to sleep when you inevitably decide the "guest bedroom" needs to be a nursery for your PFB?
Ameanstreakamilewide · 19/03/2023 15:12
Aside from anything else, I wouldn't be too thrilled at looking after someone else's kid on my only days off.
I know the OP says he 'helps' - which sounds wishy washy, in the extreme to me.
I wonder if he just mucks about 'helping' while she does the lion's share of the cooking, bathing, and general looking after?
EmilyGilmoresSass · 19/03/2023 15:13
sommeliermama · 18/03/2023 10:16
I mean "put my foot down" because I care about this child and she is living in my flat 2 days a week. I don't think she needs to be treated like a baby when she isn't one any more. For example she still uses a dummy frequently and has very crooked teeth and speaks with a lisp. I don't know if that's 100% because of the dummy but I'm sure it has played a part.
Of course he does most of the parenting because he is the parent and not me. But I do help out, I do all her laundry and will look after her if he needs to go out for whatever reason.
You've a bit of a nerve criticising people's parenting when you don't yet have your own children.
Also a tad silly to imply your boyfriend is a shit parent and then reproduce with him yourself.
Also feel sorry for this poor child who's parents have separated and reproduced again in the short 2.5 years of her life, and already being left to be looked after by her parents lovers
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 15:25
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 15:17
Probably missing the point here but why is your partners daughter staying in a guest bedroom? She has her own room at his house surely?
Yes she did, but he moved out of it last year so we could move into our own place together.
We always call it the guest bedroom and it doesn't bother anyone. I think when we buy a house in the next year or two she will have her own bedroom
gemloving · 19/03/2023 15:25
My eldest stopped just after his third birthday, same as dummy. Second stopped at 18 months. If this is part of her sleep routine, I feel like there is no issue.
If you're not a mother yourself, unfortunately, you will always easily judge others for what they do/ don't do given you've never walked the walk. I wouldn't have given a shit what anyone else thinks as it's my child and I know what's right for them.
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 19/03/2023 15:27
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 15:25
Yes she did, but he moved out of it last year so we could move into our own place together.
We always call it the guest bedroom and it doesn't bother anyone. I think when we buy a house in the next year or two she will have her own bedroom
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 15:17
Probably missing the point here but why is your partners daughter staying in a guest bedroom? She has her own room at his house surely?
I'm guessing she sleeps in it more than guests. Your dp should make it her room snd you should both refer to it as.
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 15:30
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 15:25
Yes she did, but he moved out of it last year so we could move into our own place together.
We always call it the guest bedroom and it doesn't bother anyone. I think when we buy a house in the next year or two she will have her own bedroom
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 15:17
Probably missing the point here but why is your partners daughter staying in a guest bedroom? She has her own room at his house surely?
So until she is 5 she won’t have her own bedroom at her dads? Will your child also sleep in a guest bedroom?
If you live together; your house is his house and she should have a room.
Elsanore · 19/03/2023 15:36
premicrois · 18/03/2023 10:13
My partner has a 2 and a half year old daughter who spends 2 days/nights with us a week. Obviously she is not my child but I am involved with looking after her as those 2 days are my only days off from work
Are you looking after her alone or is her Dad present?
Am I being unreasonable to think it's strange she is still drinking milk several times a day from a baby bottle?
Yes YABU. It's not your business.
I have asked my partner to buy her sippy cups but he hasn't listened It just looks so odd to me especially when we are in public.
So your concern is what other people think?
FWIW I would think nothing of a 2 year old drinking milk from a bottle.
She also demands milk at bedtime every night, which she is allowed to drink in bed. I am getting tired of our guest bedroom smelling like stale milk and having to constantly change the bedsheets where she has dropped it.
Demands! She is 2 ffs. It's her normal routine. Why can't her Dad sort the sheets out?
This will all sound like a bit of a rant but I want to know if it's normal or shout I put my foot down a bit harder on the issue.
It's not up to you to put your foot down. Aside from the issue where you are changing the sheets, that's the only thing I would be raising. How someone else's child drinks their milk is not your business.
I am expecting my own baby this summer and can't imagine still giving them a baby bottle when they're approaching 3 years ol
Bless your ignorance. It all changes when you have the child.
I totally agree with all this. Also I think it's sad that you describe her bedroom as "my guest room". Surely if it's the bedroom she sleeps in 2 nights a week every week, it's "dsd's bedroom"? Has your DH made it feel like her own space and age appropriate and welcoming?
And a 2 year old wanting milk at bedtime isn't her "demanding milk". She's barely more than a baby, she's already adapted to sleeping in different houses, you surely can't begrudge her her milk at bedtime.
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