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2 and a half year old still on baby bottles
sommeliermama · 18/03/2023 09:54
My partner has a 2 and a half year old daughter who spends 2 days/nights with us a week. Obviously she is not my child but I am involved with looking after her as those 2 days are my only days off from work.
Am I being unreasonable to think it's strange she is still drinking milk several times a day from a baby bottle? I have asked my partner to buy her sippy cups but he hasn't listened It just looks so odd to me especially when we are in public.
She also demands milk at bedtime every night, which she is allowed to drink in bed. I am getting tired of our guest bedroom smelling like stale milk and having to constantly change the bedsheets where she has dropped it.
This will all sound like a bit of a rant but I want to know if it's normal or shout I put my foot down a bit harder on the issue. I am expecting my own baby this summer and can't imagine still giving them a baby bottle when they're approaching 3 years old!
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 15:38
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 15:30
So until she is 5 she won’t have her own bedroom at her dads? Will your child also sleep in a guest bedroom?
If you live together; your house is his house and she should have a room.
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 15:25
Yes she did, but he moved out of it last year so we could move into our own place together.
We always call it the guest bedroom and it doesn't bother anyone. I think when we buy a house in the next year or two she will have her own bedroom
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 15:17
Probably missing the point here but why is your partners daughter staying in a guest bedroom? She has her own room at his house surely?
She will likely be 3. Until we move house our baby will sleep in our room.
My partner has always called it the guest bedroom - we only have 2 bedrooms and generally that room is used for his clothes, drying laundry etc. On the 2 days his daughter is here, yes it's her room. Don't see the issue in calling it a guest bedroom, it's just a name for it
Elsanore · 19/03/2023 15:45
The issue is, referring to her bedroom as "the guest room" implies DSD is a guest.
She's not a guest. It's her home. It's her dad's home, it's her home and she should feel totally at home there.
I once overheard my stepmother on the phone saying "my stepdaughter is visiting at the moment" and it was so hurtful to hear. Showed me exactly how she thought and felt.
Fridaysgirl17 · 19/03/2023 15:49
My son is 2.5 & still drinks from a bottle it's mostly water or a splash of juice now moreso than milk, people will assume I'm lazy but I have tried so many different types of cup & I still offer his water in a cup but he won't drink from any of them,I've tried multiple nuk ones,tommee tippee, munchkin,Tesco ones etc etc I think I've spent close to €100 on cups & nothing works,we are using ordinary cups but he likes to spill it as he thinks it fun so still working on that. My older son is 5 & was off his bottle around 2 but my second just can't seem to take to any cup,it's frustrating & I feel people judging me,but he won't drink anything if I take the bottle away 😬
Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 19/03/2023 16:01
For example she still uses a dummy frequently and has very crooked teeth and speaks with a lisp
Instead of hammering the OP for every little thing about her, because MN hates stepmothers, why can’t people focus on the fact that this kid’s parents are fucking up their child by not bothering to support her development and leaving her physically affected by their laziness?
ETref · 19/03/2023 16:20
For example she still uses a dummy frequently and has very crooked teeth and speaks with a lisp
This combined with the milk in a bottle at this age just shows that neither your partner nor dsd's mum give a shit about their child's teeth, not good. Not someone I'd be choosing to have a baby with tbh.
There's not really much that you can do about it, she's not your child and you only see her for two days a week. She would need to not be allowed bottles or dummies at her mum's as well. Just make sure it doesn't happen with your baby.
WithOneLook · 19/03/2023 16:23
As adults many people struggle with big life changing moments. In 2.5years this child has gone from conception between two parents to parents split up and living across two homes (where she reportedly had her own space), to at least 1 more house move and the introduction of a new 'mother' figure, who just happens to have a new baby on the way. That is one hell of a lot of life changing moments in a short space of time. The baby bottle is probably the one safe, reassuring constant in all that. Are we really going to deny that too?!?
Yes it may not be recommended to use a baby bottle but it's not exactly unheard of. As for 'putting your foot down', we'll you aren't painting yourself in a very good light.
EmilyGilmoresSass · 19/03/2023 16:25
Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 19/03/2023 16:01
For example she still uses a dummy frequently and has very crooked teeth and speaks with a lisp
Instead of hammering the OP for every little thing about her, because MN hates stepmothers, why can’t people focus on the fact that this kid’s parents are fucking up their child by not bothering to support her development and leaving her physically affected by their laziness?
Nobody is saying the parents aren't fucking up, but the OP can hardly sit on her high horse. She moved the dad in and the child now doesn't even have a private place to spend time alone with her dad nevermind a bedroom. It's ridiculous. And they think she might get one when they move? Think?!? Any wonder the child seeks comfort in dummies and bottles, she is probably confused at the absolute farce of a set up she is living in.
The man has impregnated two different women in under 3 years and is hardly dad of the year. I highly doubt he is gonna settle down and buy a house with anyone.
Lwrenagain · 19/03/2023 16:48
Ah OP, it'll not harm her to have the comfort of her bottle and that routine, it's a big adjustment having 2 homes when you're little.
The teething and lisp issues are difficult but you have to let her parents do it their way and just make sure her dad is on top of the brushing etc, it's nice you care!
Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 19/03/2023 16:51
EmilyGilmoresSass · 19/03/2023 16:25
Nobody is saying the parents aren't fucking up, but the OP can hardly sit on her high horse. She moved the dad in and the child now doesn't even have a private place to spend time alone with her dad nevermind a bedroom. It's ridiculous. And they think she might get one when they move? Think?!? Any wonder the child seeks comfort in dummies and bottles, she is probably confused at the absolute farce of a set up she is living in.
The man has impregnated two different women in under 3 years and is hardly dad of the year. I highly doubt he is gonna settle down and buy a house with anyone.
Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 19/03/2023 16:01
For example she still uses a dummy frequently and has very crooked teeth and speaks with a lisp
Instead of hammering the OP for every little thing about her, because MN hates stepmothers, why can’t people focus on the fact that this kid’s parents are fucking up their child by not bothering to support her development and leaving her physically affected by their laziness?
The OP seems to be the only one trying to do the right thing for the little girl.
custardbear · 19/03/2023 16:57
She used to have space when he lived in his own home, now you've moved in together and she's downgraded to having to stay in the guest room 😳
I said you don't sound like a natural step mum because you have no regard for her space, you've not welcomed her into your joint home and that's the difference between her living alone with her dad and now living with you - really poxy way to treat a child on both your parts,
Poor kid, I guess when your baby comes the guest room will become a child's bedroom .. perhaps not hers though
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 17:08
Why does she need "her own room" when she's two years old? We have one extra bedroom in our flat and it's our choice to call it a guest room. She has her toys and books in there. She loves sleeping in a double bed like an adult. I don't see why some people are getting so worked up on it.
I had a shared bedroom with my brother and sister until I was 8 years old and it never bothered any of us.
@custardbear "you've not welcomed her". You don't live here with us so you have no idea what it's like. She loves being here and is excited every time she comes round. You sound very bitter when this has nothing to do with you
EmilyGilmoresSass · 19/03/2023 17:20
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 17:08
Why does she need "her own room" when she's two years old? We have one extra bedroom in our flat and it's our choice to call it a guest room. She has her toys and books in there. She loves sleeping in a double bed like an adult. I don't see why some people are getting so worked up on it.
I had a shared bedroom with my brother and sister until I was 8 years old and it never bothered any of us.
@custardbear "you've not welcomed her". You don't live here with us so you have no idea what it's like. She loves being here and is excited every time she comes round. You sound very bitter when this has nothing to do with you
Because she has had enough changes thrown at her in the short space of her life, now she gets to stay as a guest, in a guest room other people use and she deserves a space that is hers. It is irrelevant mentioning sharing rooms with siblings, she isn't sharing a room with a sibling. She is being viewed as a guest when she stays with her dad.
Blessedbethefruitz · 19/03/2023 17:27
It's not always lazy parenting. My little boy had bottles until he was over 3 despite many many efforts. The 'fairy' delivered new big boy 'bottles' (soft spout sippees) and he transitioned nicely. He's now 4 and still has barista oat milk and paediasure at bedtime and overnight because he has weight and food issues. He also only just stopped his dummies a month ago. He sees the dentist regularly and his teeth are great.
To compare, my 13 month old has never taken a bottle or dummy. It's not always straight forward.
Catnut · 19/03/2023 17:46
My little boy turned 3 a couple of weeks ago, and he still has bottles, 3 a day usually. We tried to take them off him last year but he really resisted. He gets poorly regularly (chest infections, a handful of hospital admissions) and I believe that lockdown at the start of his life meant his immune system got off to an abnormal start. Bottles and dummies have been a comfort to him. With my eldest, we were done with bottles and dummies just after he turned one. I have been through phases of beating myself up over the bottles for my 3 yo, but we've just gotten rid of dummies this week and I know that we'll get there with bottles. My dentist has assured me that his teeth are developing normally.
Kranke · 19/03/2023 18:02
It’s not ideal, but I do feel sorry for the little girl. How would you feel if your husband and you split up when your baby is tiny, he then impregnates another woman quickly after, and this new woman is giving opinions on how your child should be raised (when she doesn’t have one of her own yet!). Personally I’d not be too happy!
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 18:25
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 17:08
Why does she need "her own room" when she's two years old? We have one extra bedroom in our flat and it's our choice to call it a guest room. She has her toys and books in there. She loves sleeping in a double bed like an adult. I don't see why some people are getting so worked up on it.
I had a shared bedroom with my brother and sister until I was 8 years old and it never bothered any of us.
@custardbear "you've not welcomed her". You don't live here with us so you have no idea what it's like. She loves being here and is excited every time she comes round. You sound very bitter when this has nothing to do with you
So once your baby arrives and they are sharing, will it still be a guest room or will it be Jacks bedroom?
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 18:26
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 15:38
She will likely be 3. Until we move house our baby will sleep in our room.
My partner has always called it the guest bedroom - we only have 2 bedrooms and generally that room is used for his clothes, drying laundry etc. On the 2 days his daughter is here, yes it's her room. Don't see the issue in calling it a guest bedroom, it's just a name for it
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 15:30
So until she is 5 she won’t have her own bedroom at her dads? Will your child also sleep in a guest bedroom?
If you live together; your house is his house and she should have a room.
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 15:25
Yes she did, but he moved out of it last year so we could move into our own place together.
We always call it the guest bedroom and it doesn't bother anyone. I think when we buy a house in the next year or two she will have her own bedroom
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 15:17
Probably missing the point here but why is your partners daughter staying in a guest bedroom? She has her own room at his house surely?
The 2.5yo will be 3 when you buy a year in 2 years?
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 18:34
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 18:25
So once your baby arrives and they are sharing, will it still be a guest room or will it be Jacks bedroom?
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 17:08
Why does she need "her own room" when she's two years old? We have one extra bedroom in our flat and it's our choice to call it a guest room. She has her toys and books in there. She loves sleeping in a double bed like an adult. I don't see why some people are getting so worked up on it.
I had a shared bedroom with my brother and sister until I was 8 years old and it never bothered any of us.
@custardbear "you've not welcomed her". You don't live here with us so you have no idea what it's like. She loves being here and is excited every time she comes round. You sound very bitter when this has nothing to do with you
I never said they would be sharing. The baby will sleep in our room
Who's Jack anyway?
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 18:36
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 18:26
The 2.5yo will be 3 when you buy a year in 2 years?
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 15:38
She will likely be 3. Until we move house our baby will sleep in our room.
My partner has always called it the guest bedroom - we only have 2 bedrooms and generally that room is used for his clothes, drying laundry etc. On the 2 days his daughter is here, yes it's her room. Don't see the issue in calling it a guest bedroom, it's just a name for it
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 15:30
So until she is 5 she won’t have her own bedroom at her dads? Will your child also sleep in a guest bedroom?
If you live together; your house is his house and she should have a room.
sommeliermama · 19/03/2023 15:25
Yes she did, but he moved out of it last year so we could move into our own place together.
We always call it the guest bedroom and it doesn't bother anyone. I think when we buy a house in the next year or two she will have her own bedroom
Meandfour · 19/03/2023 15:17
Probably missing the point here but why is your partners daughter staying in a guest bedroom? She has her own room at his house surely?
She will be 3 next year when we plan to move. Not 5
Newnamenewname109870 · 19/03/2023 18:40
I would also be concerned there are no attempts to reduce it, but the whole ‘putting your foot down’ sounds harsh! A bottle occasionally at night would be ok with me so I think you need to get over caring about milk smell if you’re having a baby 🙄maybe ask your partner kindly if he’s spoken to his ex about introducing a cup.
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