First Mother's Day and partner won't spend it with me

[Anna1998]

Am I right to feel a bit sad that my partner is spending Mother's Day with his mum instead of me and baby when it's my first ever Mother's Day? I won't even see him at all not even an hour as he's away that weekend with his mum. I know he loves his mum but I thought he would have made a bit of an effort considering it's my first one!

It is mothers day, not husbands day. Is he your husband?

Was this his mother's idea?

Be happy he respects his dm. He will hopefully want his dc to also be respectful of you..
See your own dm or plan fun with dc...

It's mother's day, he should be spending it with his mother.

I wouldn't be happier either. What do you mean he is away with his mum for the weekend? Is he taking her away for Mother's Day?

don't understand this it's mother's day, for spoiling your mother not spend all day with your wife day

I wouldn’t be happy either, you’ve just made a family with him fgs! Tiny kids need their dad’s help to “do” Mother’s Day anyway so I presume if he fucks off to get looked after all day at his mum’s then you won’t have anything but an ordinary day at home with your baby. Poor you OP.

I get this, my family are far away so we will split for mothers day, he will go to his family and I'll go to mine with baby. It does suck as its also my first mother's day and it would have been nice to be with my own wee family to celebrate it. Yanbu but I do think he'll need to see her. I know people are saying it's not husbands day but I think it's a bit much to expect a tiny baby to organise mothers day- to me that's the dads responsibility until the children are old enough to do it themselves. I wouldn't expect to sort my own mothers day any more than I'd expect my husband to sort his own fathers day. Does she live far away or are they going away together?

I do agree with others that it's generally a good sign that he treats his mum well and is respectful of her.

I can see your point but it's also nice he wants to be with his mum on Mother's Day.

He is setting what is actually quite a nice example to your child- hopefully you will see your child on Mother's Day even when they are an adult because of the example he is setting.

Were you invited along?

He needs to understand that he has two Mothers to think of on Mothers Day - both of you are equally important. He should have invited you. I'd be very unhappy about this and tell him honestly how you feel.

I had to tell my DH what I expected on Mothers Day on my first one... we make a big fuss of each other on those days now! It's important to get the first one right!

It's MOTHERS day not partner day.. course he should be spending the day with his mum and your child with you

This. You are doing night feeds, you do deserve a little bit of spoiling.

Eh ?

It’s Mothers Day. You are not his mother.

Your time will come when your kids are old enough to “spend” it with you.

Is it his baby?

Very weird, you're the Mother now so it's your day.

Utterly fucked up that he's leaving you alone to visit his own mum!!!

You're not his mother.

WTH is going on with these responses.

Yes, Mother’s Day is about all mothers, but you can’t celebrate all mothers in the same way.

mothers day is primarily about mothers actively parenting children. A father’s main job is to be leading his child(ren) in celebrating his wife on Mother’s Day.

he has to make sure that is taken care of and then figure out a way to also celebrate his own mother.

He's with his mum, on Mother's Day, so YABU

We are celebrating Mothers Day a week late as DD1 will be on Scout camp and DH doesn't return from a work trip until the afternoon.

Can you celebrate a different weekend instead?

Is your DP also your DC? I suspect not so surely he’d prioritise seeing his DL on her special day?

So really, you are all ok with a father just disappearing and leaving a mother to do all the parenting on Mother’s Day. She doesn’t get breakfast in bed or have less work to do. She actually gets a harder day because dad leaves her with a baby all by herself.

this has to be the twilight zone.

I'd be less than impressed my hubby sees his mum in the afternoon and in the morning i get flowers and breakfast in bed whilst he takes the kids for a couple of hours!! Bliss

Surprised by these responses. He can still mark the day for you as well as his mum. Is he at least planning to get you a card and gift?

I have a son, I would be disgusted if he left his partner and baby alone to spend Mother’s Day with me. He either spends it with both of us or with her, she is the one raising his son and for that she should take priority.

If you cannot celebrate it with him because you are not his mum, go and visit your own mum, but do not forget to leave him on his own on Father’s Day as rules must be applied fairly.

Some very strange responses here OP, I wouldn’t be impressed if my DH left me and the kids for the whole day on Mothers Day.

Dont forget it’s Fathes Day in June so make sure you leave him and the baby too it!

Why can’t he do something with all of you together?