First Mother's Day and partner won't spend it with me

[Anna1998]

Am I right to feel a bit sad that my partner is spending Mother's Day with his mum instead of me and baby when it's my first ever Mother's Day? I won't even see him at all not even an hour as he's away that weekend with his mum. I know he loves his mum but I thought he would have made a bit of an effort considering it's my first one!

You sound so young. Best of luck. No way this boy will care about mothers day with you. Sorry.

He just sounds like he hasn't made the mindset switch from (adult) child to parent.

Why did you have to each go to your parents houses rather than both staying with one of your parents? Is a very odd set up, you're not coparenting at this point, it's basically like you're split up and have weekend supervised visitation.

With the extra info then no he shouldn't be spending it with his mother. To be honest given the current set up, I'm not sure how interested he is in the family you've created.

He certainly doesn't respect you as the mother of his child.

Tough love but, this isn't going to work out between you two.

So you do it all & he dips in? He’s not a proper partner.

My mil would have torn a strip off dh if he’d pulled this shit of not being an equal parent.

Wow he's got it good. Mum to do all his washing and cooking, and then you and the baby every other weekend or so.

Does he even pay you anything towards the cost of his child?

My first Mother’s Day, my MIL got me a small, but thoughtful gift. When Father’s Day rolled around, she gave her son nothing as she told him in advance would happen. She loves my husband, but she explained to him that being a new mother is harder than being a new father so she broke normal protocols of gifting for the holiday to acknowledge that reality. I love my MIL very much.

With the way the father of your child is acting and the way his family is encouraging his behavior, I would consider tabling moving in together for now. You don’t have to break up, but I wouldn’t be in a rush to be in a situation where breaking up is complicated by housing.

He's shit

Some of these responses are bonkers though. Can't imagine ds1 spending the whole time with me and leaving his gf and small babies on mother's day. My dgd are too young to do anything nice for their mum. It's on ds to make sure she has a lovely day !

You've got loads of years ahead of you when you'll get handmade cards from nursery and school and other activities. This big thing about your first MD really isn't necessary.

I don't think either of you are ultimately being unreasonable, just both of you making the day a bigger deal than it needs to be. I wouldn't spend the whole day with my mum just because it's MD but neither would I expect DH to drop other plans for me if he had them.

I think this post is not only about Mother's Day, it is also questioning your relationship. He sounds like he has to do as he is told. He sounds quite immature.
Op seriously think about the future with this man. If he is willing to not visit his own child just because it's Mother's Day. It's not like he hasn't seen his Mother in a while. He lives with her. It sounds like he is sacrificing precious time with his child, who he doesn't see every day. He has priorities elsewhere.
In the future if you move in together he will likely run back to his Mother when things get tough.

How old are you both?

A card is all my mother gets and a text from my son. I really don't see why anyone expects the red carpet over a nominated card day. I know it's harsh, but I'd be pissed off with him doing a whole weekend with his mum if you have a small child, but for different reasons, I'd want him to do some parenting and not leave me to it (again).

we both love our little baby girl so much!

Could you go two weeks without seeing her? Because he can. I'd start planning for a different kind of future. because I don't think this man will be with you long-term.

Sorry.

Remember this Op when your baby boy chooses to spend Mother's Day with his wife instead of you.
Yabu
It's a day for your mother and it's a positive sign that he wants to spend the day with her .

This. Book Father’s Day away and let him get on with it.

it's a positive sign that he wants to spend the day with her .

It's really not. He lives with his mum and leaves the parenting of his actual child mostly to OP. He's not a good Blake.

This!!

He needs to understand that he has two Mothers to think of on Mothers Day - both of you are equally important. He should have invited you.

This

Ignore the 'he's not your mother' comments.

I feel like I’m going insane reading these messages. If my husband ditched me for the entire weekend my first Mother’s Day I would be crying on the phone to my friend. If he wanted to spend it with his mother and not the mother of his child why wouldn’t you all do something together. A nice lunch together. Bizarre. YANBU.

spending mothers day with their wife is exactly what I expect my sons to do

She is his mum and your kid isn’t old enough to acknowledge it. Your time will come later.

Did you spend your first Mothers Day on your own without it being acknowledged?

How many years did you do that for? I

Don't forget @Notonthestairs also the weeks either side. Not just the day itself.

YANBU OP. YOU are the mother of his child and therefore should be the most important “mother” in his life. He should be spoiling you and giving you a nice mothers day experience with the baby.

Nothing worse than a mummy’s boy! I couldn’t stay married to one

It's flipping ridiculous that posters are suggesting this is fine.

They have a two month old daughter.
The partner lives with his Mum and can presumably treat her to something lovely any day of the week - or every day of the week!
The partner only see his daughter and the Op at weekends.
The partner has chosen to take his Mum away for a weekend and not see his child or his partner for a fortnight.

Meanwhile posters are faffing on about he's not the Ops child and her time will come!