First Mother's Day and partner won't spend it with me

[Anna1998]

Am I right to feel a bit sad that my partner is spending Mother's Day with his mum instead of me and baby when it's my first ever Mother's Day? I won't even see him at all not even an hour as he's away that weekend with his mum. I know he loves his mum but I thought he would have made a bit of an effort considering it's my first one!

Mothers day is primarily for children to spend time with their mothers, not for partners to spoil their OH.

If he is away because he needs to travel to see his mum I think that is reasonable.

Are you seeing your own mum? If not could you not go with him?

You'll have your time when your children are old enough to show they appreciate you on mothers day.

OP you are not being unreasonable at all- I can't believe some of these responses.
If my adult ds chose to spend Mother's Day with me as opposed to the mother of his new baby I would have failed in raising him to be a good man.

Give his head a wobble and tell him his priorities have now changed

I'd be upset too.

We are spending this Mother's Day with lots of family including my Mum and my Nan (my late Dads Mum)

Every Mum is going apart from DHs as she lives in Gibraltar.

Take your baby to your mums for the day, have a little 3 generations party?

Alternatively his mother's day present could be taking baby with him and you get the day to yourself, I know many that would prefer that 😂.

Is fathers day in a couple of months, whatever he does, return the favour then.

Can you invite his mum to yours and then he can cook for you all?

Can you not just celebrate it on a different day?

Well part of Mother's Day imo, is giving mums a treat day, that usually means doing the donkey work with childcare while mum relaxes. If he's away with his mum, then he's essentially leaving you holding the baby on your own - the opposite of a relaxing day, so no, I wouldn't be very pleased! Not saying he shouldn't see his mum or celebrate her, but he should be making sure you have a special day too. Your kid is too young to do anything, so it's on him to make that happen.

It's mother's day which means OP should be being spoilt, gets the day off etc etc. Given the age of her little one then it's down to the DP to arrange that, not spend all day with his own mother who doesn't really have to mother any more.

He needs to be at home so you can get breakfast in bed and be spoilt.

He needs to understand that he has two Mothers to think of on Mothers Day - both of you are equally important
No, he has not. He has one mother and one wife.
Ffs!

His role as a son is to show his mother that she is appreciated
His role as a father is to enable his child to show their mother that she is appreciated... including doing it on their behalf if the child is too young.

So yes, there are two mothers to think about.

Spending mother's day with his mother? Seems reasonable. Can't you spend it with yours?

What a great first Mother's Day - providing sole childcare to your partner's child

Can't believe all the idiotic women defending him. What an arsehole.

I know! What weird responses. So on the OP's first Mother's Day as a mother, she gets to do all the childcare of a tiny baby with no break while he gets a lovely day out with another adult?

Of course you should be the focus on Mother’s Day, can’t believe some of the responses. How is a baby supposed to make a fuss of mum? Then in years to come it is up to him to teach any children you have how to do it.
How does the mum of a grown up man need a fuss/break?

There absolutely are two mothers to think about - his mother and the mother of his children. Both are equally important.

Well it's mother's day so it's not unreasonable for him to see his mum. Get him to take the baby & then you can get what pretty much every mum of small kids I know wants. Some peace & quiet. Win win

Exactly!

"How is a baby supposed to make a fuss of mum?"

I'm sure baby will be up early and organising breakfast before putting a wash on and then taking Mum out for a nice lunch.

Or the Ops day will be like every other day.

I can't believe the response to this. Why would you leave a new mother alone all day on mother's day? The baby can't exactly spoil the OP. Her partner can.

By all means he should see his mum, not be there all day/weekend.

I don’t get these responses at all.

I assume he’ll be okay if you go away over Father’s Day and see your dad (if you’ve got one)?

This is a good suggestion. When mine have been tiny the biggest treat would have been some time to myself. You will get people saying something about her not spending time with her baby on Mother's Day, but I spend loads of my time with my children so time alone would be the best gift.

Depends if OP is breastfeeding etc, but if that's not an issue then that's what he should do.

What's the betting that on Father's Day he'll expect a fuss. Or else will head off with his own father to the pub and leave OP minding the baby again.

And yeah, some of these responses are twilight zone indeed. My own lovely MIL would never have gone off with dh on mother's day leaving me minding a baby for a weekend on my own.

All these Mother's Day threads. 😳

It's a day that seems to make loads of people miserable.

It's really just a commercial gimmick to get you to buy greeting cards.

What a palava.

He's going away for the weekend.

I suppose he could take baby but I'd out good money on him not offering to do that.