First Mother's Day and partner won't spend it with me

[Anna1998]

Am I right to feel a bit sad that my partner is spending Mother's Day with his mum instead of me and baby when it's my first ever Mother's Day? I won't even see him at all not even an hour as he's away that weekend with his mum. I know he loves his mum but I thought he would have made a bit of an effort considering it's my first one!

Wanting to spend time with his own mum, not a problem. Going away for the whole weekend when he has a new baby...bit weird. YANBU to feel put out.

Sorry OP but I don't think you're going to get the happy ending that you're waiting on. Your partner is making no effort whatsoever. He isn't supporting you financially or emotionally.
He sounds like a mummy's boy, quite happy living at home with Mum and being looked after by her.
His family don't sound pleasant either. If they were decent they would invite you to spend the weekend with them or insist he spends it with you?
Do they think you e 'trapped' him maybe? I don't understand their hostility/ lack of interest otherwise.

Oh dear. I'm so sorry. Do you feel he's actually going to move back with you? Is he actively working with you to find something else? He should be doing as much as he can to look after your baby and spending all his energy on finding you a new home.

What do your parents make of the situation?

So sorry to hear this OP, I completely agree with you that he should be spending the day with you and making it special for you. Even if it was just the morning if he had to go see his mom in the afternoon, this is such a special day for you, he shouldn't be making this all about him.

Just read some comments about him not paying, which is a difficult one as you are together as a couple but he should be contributing to things the baby needs not just you. In the nicest way possible I think you need to look at your relationship with him as it seems very one sided, if his banking app doesn't work why can't he take money out of the cash machine?

OP, I'm really sorry but Mothers Day is just the tip of the iceberg.

Do not move in with this man. You are doing everything anyway, and you'll only become more resentful when you're living with him and he still does nothing.

As for his "app not working": ffs (to him, that is, not to you). I haven't got any apps at all, and it doesn't stop me from transferring money to people. That is the most pathetic excuse I have ever heard.

(not for Mothers Day, but for you generally)

I really really really would not want to move in with him. He's already showing you who he is by not actively patenting his child, making excuses not to pay for his child and honestly treating you a little coldly. It sounds like his family are actually just following his lead.

If you move in with him it's likely you'll end up doing everything anyways. If he wanted to be would give you cash every time he saw you- he should be contributing to his child- even more than you if you're on maternity leave. My dh has taken over majority of our bills etc to reflect my reduced wage on mat leave and still contributes to whatever we need for baby he also does night nappies and winding as I bf on the nights he doesn't have work the next morning so there is no reason why your boyfriend couldn't be doing that when he is with you to give you a break. Honestly if you move in with him you will likely end up out more money, cleaning up after him as well as looking after baby. You're essentially parenting alone anyways- what does he actually bring to the table here? You're amazing and really strong to have been doing it yourself all along so you could definitely do it without him.

Absolutely nothing wrong with a partner going to see their own mum on mothers day.

But you have much much bigger issues going on here with both your OH and his mother. You should not be focussing on mothers day when you have so many other unresolved, more significant, issues.

How many packages of nappies has he bought? How many articles of baby clothing? Did he buy a car seat? Has he paid you for lost wages? Did he help with buying maternity clothes? Did he help cover your transportation costs to your medical appointments? Did he do anything to contribute the the non-stop expenses that begin the minute you find out you are pregnant?