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Original poster

Husband wants to kick ds out?

288 replies

Clarke1979 · 26/02/2023 19:22

Ds turned 18 last week and his dad has been asking when he’s going to move out. This has come completely out of nowhere! We never spoke about it before his birthday at all! Husband made comments when he was a baby about kicking him out when he was 18 (he did the same with dd, 15, as well) but I never took him seriously. Ds is currently in college full time, learning to drive and working one day a week. He wants to work more now that he is 18 but before we agreed one shift a week so that he could focus on corse work. I’m telling my husband that he’s being completely unreasonable but we’ve been arguing all week. Husband says that he’s an adult now and needs to act like one. Contemplating moving out with my son at this point. Any advice?

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 26/02/2023 19:36

Clarke1979 · 26/02/2023 19:29

Agreed but I’m honestly heartbroken that he’s acting like this! Also extremely confused. My son is really upset as well and feels that dad doesn’t love him but has been looking into renting a room from his friend’s parents. I’ve told my husband that if ds goes then I go and I’ve been told that I’m too soft?! Honestly wtf?

Your poor son. Does your husband not know other families who have 18 year olds living at home? They turn 18 when they’re still at school in 6th form.
No way would I have let my husband turf my son out at 18. I seriously would have told him either he stops trying to evict our son, or he leaves himself, or I would have left with my son and daughter after starting divorce proceedings. To me our job as parents is to support them until they are ready and able to leave home, and choose to.

EezyOozy · 26/02/2023 19:37

hes a horrible cunt. Tell him to leave?

Chimna · 26/02/2023 19:37

Your husband sounds like a really shit Dad, poor kid!

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Original poster
Clarke1979 · 26/02/2023 19:38

My daughter is only 15 and so obviously still lives at home. Unfortunately my husband owns the house so kicking him out isn’t an option. He’s never been the best dad truthfully and we haven’t had the easiest relationship for the past few years but I never expected this. Ds has asked for more shifts and his friend’s parents have offered to let him stay if he pays for his own food etc but I’m not sure I can live with my husband if he lets that happen..

OP posts:
Anewuser · 26/02/2023 19:38

This isn’t out of the blue - and I read that DD is 15 but he’s been talking about kicking her out since she was a baby.

Your husband should like a real shit.

Do not let DS be kicked out. You have one life. You made your children and should support them over your husband.

Circumferences · 26/02/2023 19:38

That's awful, just really really horrid of him.

FourTeaFallOut · 26/02/2023 19:40

If you are married then it's really not as simple as him owning the house. You have a claim to the asset too.

Theimpossiblegirl · 26/02/2023 19:40

He owns the house? This speaks volumes.

You are married. It's supposed to be the family home. Has he always been financially controlling?

bloodyplanes · 26/02/2023 19:41

Nope!!! Move yourself and the kids out! Your dh sounds like a massive cunt!

MrsRR1 · 26/02/2023 19:42

This is heartbreaking. Please don't let him do this

AD1996 · 26/02/2023 19:42

That’s awful. I’d be kicking my husband out 100%.

Freshair87 · 26/02/2023 19:42

Moving to live with someone else's parents because his own don't want him is really sad glad you've got his back OP.

MamOfFive · 26/02/2023 19:42

Well it's time for you to look for a rental for you and the kids. You can't stay op, and you can't let your ds leave - hell never forgive you.

prista · 26/02/2023 19:43

just to repeat what others have said, if you are married he does not own the house. You both do.

FictionalCharacter · 26/02/2023 19:43

OK so he owns the house, but you can start divorce proceedings if you want to.
Do you want to see him kick your son out when he has almost no income, do the same to your dd when she turns 18, and continue living with him?

Mum2jenny · 26/02/2023 19:44

Bin the husband please!

RandomMess · 26/02/2023 19:44

Erm you're married, it's a marital asset unless you aren't in the UK?

Duckingella · 26/02/2023 19:45

Clarke1979 · 26/02/2023 19:30

No my son is not trouble at all! My husband turned 18 the summer he graduated and moved out by choice.

Are you sure about that or was he kicked out and lied about it?

CleaningOutMyCloset · 26/02/2023 19:45

House might be in his name, but it's still half yours op.

I'd start making plans to leave, I couldn't stand by him, in your shoes if he's the reason your ds leaves home, you also know it'll be the same for your dd in 3 years time. What an awful man

Undermyumberellaellaella · 26/02/2023 19:45

So your son working and studying (doing pretty well for himself at 18) and your husband is still trying to get rid of him?

Sounds like his only options are leave together or he ends up at a friends (I couldn't let that happen either) all because his dad feels like he's big enough to leave home now.

So not fair on any of you and I would probably not talk to my dad or husband again if he randomly decided this for no good reason.

ArcticSkewer · 26/02/2023 19:46

If you think living at home with just him in three years time sounds fun, then stay.

If not, then just file for divorce today and get started on the road to separating, selling the house and moving somewhere with your kids instead.

FictionalCharacter · 26/02/2023 19:46

And I can’t imagine what the friend’s parents think of your husband, and of you for letting it happen (which is how it would look to them).

Thepurplelantern · 26/02/2023 19:46

Get rid of the husband he is a dick and you going along with him will at best damage your relationship with your son at worst destroy it.

Wombats67 · 26/02/2023 19:46

No point in him really if he gives you all a hard time.

Marital assets are split in the UK, divorce his sorry arse.

theministerscat · 26/02/2023 19:47

If you are married then your home is a marital asset. You should speak to a divorce lawyer.