Husband wants to kick ds out?

[Clarke1979]

Ds turned 18 last week and his dad has been asking when he’s going to move out. This has come completely out of nowhere! We never spoke about it before his birthday at all! Husband made comments when he was a baby about kicking him out when he was 18 (he did the same with dd, 15, as well) but I never took him seriously. Ds is currently in college full time, learning to drive and working one day a week. He wants to work more now that he is 18 but before we agreed one shift a week so that he could focus on corse work. I’m telling my husband that he’s being completely unreasonable but we’ve been arguing all week. Husband says that he’s an adult now and needs to act like one. Contemplating moving out with my son at this point. Any advice?

It's not illegal advice, I think she'd be mad to be the one to leave. It's a civil matter and it Would be up to the courts to decide who gets what. He can call it his house all he wants but if she's lived there as his wife for 18 years+ she has rights!

What a mess. It is a shame that you have ignored that fact you married and had kids with an arsehole, but no point in lamenting the past.

I think you, ds and dd should all move out. If you start a divorce you should be entitled a settlement.

Fgs don't continue living with this awful human being.

It's my understanding that the OP has more rights than her horrible H to live in the house, because she has a child under 18?

It is NOT his house!!

This is one of the worst things I have read on here. Utterly heartbreaking.

Who’s house is it then?

and no, why would op have more rights to a house as she has a child under 18? He also has a child under 18…

Again, bad advice.

when deciding on asset split the courts will look at current housing.

if o/p leaves and finds somewhere to live, she will be “adequately housed”. A court then won’t make him leave if he claims he has nowhere to go as they won’t make him homeless.

so o/p may get a smaller share, or have to wait until he voluntarily moves out or gets a new partner before the house can be sold and spilt.

the advice is usually to stay in the house for the above reasons until the financials are decided. If he moves out, similarly she won’t be made to leave and that will be considered.

It would be illegal to kick him out or lock him out.

She does have rights.
But not the right to kick him out.

You need to sit with your son and talk. This is NOT his fault he may now feel it is. It most definitely is NOT. Nor indeed it is NOT yours. I think he said maybe Dad is right to try smooth over and stop this in the only way he knows. Fortunately, now u can get legal advice, put a notice on the house as said above mentioned. Try not to draw your DCs into any conversations with your DH about this issue or no big family 'draw in' arguments. (Discuss when they are at school, maybe) so you can protect them. Then, find a councillor regardless of outcome for you and both your DC's they will need to talk to somebody independent.

None of this advice may be correct, but it's what I would do personally. Other people may have different opinions and experiences. Good luck OP I hope this suiation resolves in a grown-up manner, and your DCs and yourself are at the heart of it all. ❤️ You are a lioness, and we protect our cubs, and you are doing a great job. I wish the best for you and your DCs. I wish for a bright future ahead for you all

And for the love of all that is right, do not let DS end his education here. Why should pressure from his Dad curb his future 🤔 career!!! Absolutely not!!! He stays in education doing what he was before his Dad waded in. 💐

Just checking in @Clarke1979 .

Hoping for an update..

How are you, OP? How is your DS? x

I am worried about OP. I hope she is ok