My sons bully's are coming for a sleep over

[Clockwise123]

Hi, I desperately need some advice please.
My son was bullied at school and moved schools because of it last year (year 8, age 13). My girlfriends son, same age, is friends with these boys and wants to have them over for his birthday for a sleep over. I do not want them in our home, but my gf insists her son should not miss out.

My son is due to be at his mums, so won't be here. It still doesn't sit right with me though.

We all live together, and share parental responsibility with our children's other parents.

1. How will my son feel knowing they've been in his home? He will say it's OK if I speak to him about it, but that's the way he is. Never wants to make a fuss, or cause any issues.
2. I'm not sure how I will feel having these children in our home, knowing what they did to my son.
3. I could potentially have an issue with my sons mum if/when she finds out that these boys have been in my our home.

I don't want my step son to miss out. It feels really hard to deal with.

It feels like I'm being made to feel like I'm over reacting. The phrase that I keep being told is "it's not all about your son"

Any thoughts or advice? What would you do?

To be honest I would really worry about your relationship with this woman and her duty of care to your son if she lives under the same roof as him. If she doesn’t see the issue here I wouldn’t want her involved in my child’s life at all. If these boys have bullied your son in anyway, but especially bad enough to make him move schools why would she possibly want her son to have any involvement with such horrible kids knowing what they’ve done! Let alone invite them into his safe space?! I think her behaviour is totally unreasonable and would definitely have me thinking she probably isn’t the right fit for you and your son.
If for some reason you what to hold on to this relationship and she still wants her son to be involved with this group, I 100% wouldn’t let them in your house. If she’s so desperate for him to have this sleepover, could she take them all camping or somewhere else?!
The whole situation is very questionable and I feel very sorry for you and you son for being put in it.

Please do not allow these bullies to come to your house. If your gf can't understand why and really wants her son to sleep overr with bullies then you need to tell her to move out if it's your house or you need to move out if it's her house and re-evaluate your relationship. It's ok for her to put her son first but not at the expense of your son's feelings.

Or painted the house and watched it dry 😀

I wouldn’t be able to stay in the same house as your stepson after this, it sounds like he was involved by allowing it to continue by lying about the situation.
Your gf is absolutely out of order, she’s putting her son first with no consideration for your son. Did she even have words with her son after he obviously lied about the bullying? Why is she allowing her son to be friends with your sons bully’s! It’s just awful and shows how little she cares for your so .
This can’t be a nice environment for your son to live in. It’s time to put him first and end the relationship, or move out at the very least.

I think your right it must be hard living with someone who either participated or allowed bullying to continue by denying it....if course he could have been scared but no excuse.

Are you insane?! Don't let these kids anywhere near your house and tell your girlfriend to get to fuck!