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Original poster

Husband wants to get rid of cats due to newborn baby

163 replies

anniz91 · 30/01/2023 22:53

Hi all

My husband has suddenly changed his attitude / behaviour towards our cats and now wants to get rid of them after the arrival of our baby.

Has anyone been in this situation?

He is now blaming me that I was the one who wanted cats but we were both wanting them prior pregnancy. I am absolutely heartbroken if I have to be forced into agreement in giving them up.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 30/01/2023 22:55

Maybe you should rehome your dh instead!
There's no reason to get rid of them because you're having a baby. What's his reasoning?

KatherineJaneway · 30/01/2023 22:55

What is he saying will happen?

Onnabugeisha · 30/01/2023 22:55

Is there a reason why? Is he afraid the cats might harm the baby?

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9thFloorNightmare · 30/01/2023 22:56

Are your cats vicious?

Changingplace · 30/01/2023 22:56

No, I absolutely think it’s incredibly selfish to give up pets because you’re having a baby, he’s being ridiculous.

I would downright refuse, you can set ground rules (cats not allowed in nursery etc) but to make a decision to get rid on no other basis isn’t something I’d agree with either.

RandomCatGenerator · 30/01/2023 22:57

Why does he want rid?

We did rehome one cat when DS was about 4 months old (with my in laws). But that’s because he got his claws out with the baby. My other cat was totally uninterested by the baby and was a source of joy and calm in a very stressful and sleepless time, I’d never have got rid of her (though she died of cancer when DS was one 💔 )

EL8888 · 30/01/2023 22:57

I think re-home the husband

Cats and babies can co-exist. When my husband was born his parents had 3 cats

JupiterFortified · 30/01/2023 22:57

I’d get rid of the husband before the cats.

Can’t stand it when people think animals are disposable.

Stand your ground OP x

Smartiepants79 · 30/01/2023 22:59

In my experience cats have zero interest in babies and do everything they can to be away from them!
Can he explain why he feels the cats can’t stay? What is he worried about??
What can be put in place to mitigate his concerns?

HikingHairDontCare · 30/01/2023 23:00

Tell him no. If he tried to force me, I’d leave him as there’s no way I’d get rid of my animals, and also because it shows he’s a controlling an uncaring man. Hopefully he’ll realise he’s being ridiculous and it’s maybe just some sort of panic with having a new baby.

RandomCatGenerator · 30/01/2023 23:00

Oh also - my 18 month old adores our cat. Cat was his first word after daddy.

BumblebeeWest · 30/01/2023 23:03

My cat and my DD get along happily and have done since DD was a bump. I don’t understand how someone could get rid of a pet if it wasn’t causing harm. Has your husband explained his rationale?

I wanted DD to live with an animal partly so she learned early how to treat animals nicely, and partly because there’s plenty of decent quality evidence that exposure to animals in the first year or so of baby’s life reduces their risk of developing a variety of allergies. (Including food allergies, not just pet allergies!)

SnarkyBag · 30/01/2023 23:03

DH was the same when I was pregnant with ds1. He just got a real bee in his bonnet about it. Told him to stop being a dick and cats remained in situ for another 15 years. When they died I got a puppy. How DH missed those cats 🤣

NearlyMidnight · 30/01/2023 23:05

Agree - cats aren't a problem. Maybe DH is just over anxious. Talk to him, set some rules, reassure him. It'll be fine. (We had a cat and a newborn. As other said - cat not interested in baby - at all. And for me the cat was just lovely..)

PauliString · 30/01/2023 23:06

If they are actual pumas or lions, he has a point.

Otherwise surely you just keep the door shut when the baby is in bed?

Galarunner · 30/01/2023 23:09

Growing up with pets has many advantages to children including reducing the rate of asthma., Learning about taking care of an animal, importance of being gentle. Even very young babies seem to be calmed by watching animals. It's not like you have two ferocious feral hounds! Frame it to your husband that it's good he is so concerned about the welfare of your unborn child but lay out the many positives.

Onnabugeisha · 30/01/2023 23:14

Growing up with pets has many advantages to children including reducing the rate of asthma.

Unless either parent has asthma, in which case household pets increase the chances of the child developing asthma.

Wolfiefan · 30/01/2023 23:16

Why? What is his reasoning?

Oopswediditagain2023 · 30/01/2023 23:17

I personally wouldn't want cats whilst I had babies (I'm a cat person btw) and if I did I would always supervise or keep the cats away from where baby was sleeping. We had a neighbour a few years ago whose cat went and sat on their newborn baby's face whilst she slept in her cot. Luckily she was ok but was rushed to hospital. I mentioned it to my aunty as I was really shocked by the whole thing and she was like "well yes, that's why they sell cat guards for prams and cribs? It's a really common thing?!"
We didnt have a cat at the time, but when mine were babies I always watched like a hawk if they were asleep downstairs with the door open or a window open as our neighbours cat would sometimes come in. Also obviously concerned about scratching and biting etc

Jellybean23 · 30/01/2023 23:24

Cats do walk and sit on worktops which might be giving him the ick (it would me too), shed fur and are known to sleep on a baby. How many cats do you have?

musicalfrog · 30/01/2023 23:26

How ridiculous. Your babies will get far more out of having pets than not having them.

BIahBIahBIah · 30/01/2023 23:27

I agree with him.

They are unsanitary, and you're going to have to be constantly vigilant. So much hard work with a baby.

HikingHairDontCare · 30/01/2023 23:29

BIahBIahBIah · 30/01/2023 23:27

I agree with him.

They are unsanitary, and you're going to have to be constantly vigilant. So much hard work with a baby.

🙄

AutumnScream · 30/01/2023 23:34

I sympathize with dp tbh. Not saying get rid of the cats but it doesn't make him a bad person.

I have 3 cats, well they are my dps cats. I dont like them im not a cat person and im expecting a baby soon. He treats them like children and has already refused to keep the bedroom door shut when baby arrives as he thinks the cats take priority and should have free reign of the bedroom. These cats keep me awake all night because they jump on me, purr in my ears and touch my face all night long. Their fur is all over my babys crib and clothes and swing and they refuse to get out of the crib. They also jump off the door frame onto the crib which i cant have when the baby arrives. They have also ripped the car seat hood with their claws.

Each to their own but i find cats destructive and not safe around babies so i see your husbands point. Have you got a cat net for the cot? Im getting one to try and stop them going in the crib.

bellsbuss · 30/01/2023 23:41

I personally wouldn't have one around a baby due to a scary experience a close friend. Her cat nearly suffocated her baby

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