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Original poster

Husband wants to get rid of cats due to newborn baby

163 replies

anniz91 · 30/01/2023 22:53

Hi all

My husband has suddenly changed his attitude / behaviour towards our cats and now wants to get rid of them after the arrival of our baby.

Has anyone been in this situation?

He is now blaming me that I was the one who wanted cats but we were both wanting them prior pregnancy. I am absolutely heartbroken if I have to be forced into agreement in giving them up.

OP posts:
Scalottia · 31/01/2023 05:43

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ohfook · 31/01/2023 05:49

Smartiepants79 · 30/01/2023 22:59

In my experience cats have zero interest in babies and do everything they can to be away from them!
Can he explain why he feels the cats can’t stay? What is he worried about??
What can be put in place to mitigate his concerns?

That's my experience too. The cat practically rehomed itself when we brought our first home.

bluemooooon · 31/01/2023 06:00

AutumnScream · 30/01/2023 23:34

I sympathize with dp tbh. Not saying get rid of the cats but it doesn't make him a bad person.

I have 3 cats, well they are my dps cats. I dont like them im not a cat person and im expecting a baby soon. He treats them like children and has already refused to keep the bedroom door shut when baby arrives as he thinks the cats take priority and should have free reign of the bedroom. These cats keep me awake all night because they jump on me, purr in my ears and touch my face all night long. Their fur is all over my babys crib and clothes and swing and they refuse to get out of the crib. They also jump off the door frame onto the crib which i cant have when the baby arrives. They have also ripped the car seat hood with their claws.

Each to their own but i find cats destructive and not safe around babies so i see your husbands point. Have you got a cat net for the cot? Im getting one to try and stop them going in the crib.

These cats sound barmy. How are they up on the door frame ???

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stayathomer · 31/01/2023 06:15

I think you have to acknowledge that having a cat with a baby there could be an issue. Cats can suddenly attack and so a baby could never be left alone with one, also isn’t there an infection cats can get that can be passed on to babies? Chances are much higher there’ll never be a problem but cats can be unpredictable and of course they can never be left alone together, which means more work for you both but of course it’s worth it! I think more likely though he’s thinking of urban legends where a cat can smother a baby (which I’ve never ever heard happen in real life).

BooCrew · 31/01/2023 06:25

There are some mad replies to this thread 😳 Get rid of your pets because you have a real baby? Wtf?

Use a bit of common sense, keep the cats away from the baby when it's very little. So long as they don't become aggressive (teach your baby/child to treat them very gently and be slightly wary of them to reduce the chances of this) they will co-exist with no problems. Mine wouldn't have gone near my child as a baby, they hated the noise!

HuntingoftheSnark · 31/01/2023 06:26

Statistically I'm sure there are far more cases of fathers/parents harming babies than cats. I have never read a reliable report of a cat trying to smother a baby! And I can't believe that anyone thinks of a living creature as being disposable just because a newer one comes along.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 31/01/2023 06:31

bellsbuss · 30/01/2023 23:41

I personally wouldn't have one around a baby due to a scary experience a close friend. Her cat nearly suffocated her baby

This is what I was coming to say. My dad is a GP and had a patient whose baby was suffocated by their cat. He was against them around babies ever since.

lowclouds · 31/01/2023 06:39

It is hard to know how the cats will behave around the baby so I can understand his concern.

My friend's cat jumped into the baby's cot and she found her with her claws out scratching at the baby's clothes/ torso as if it were a scratching post.

The cat wasn't even allowed into the baby's room but had somehow run in without being seen (try locking a cat out of a room - it makes them want nothing but to get in!) This was a very friendly, chilled out cat, but it was worrying.

But if the cats bring you so much joy then it seems unfair to get rid of them when they haven't done anything. But I think you do need a solid plan to keep them separate from the baby.

Iwanderedlonelyasagoat · 31/01/2023 06:47

We have a cat and small children. I have occasionally wanted to get rid of the cat because he's a pretty difficult cat (rescue, has always bitten and scratched us sometimes) and when they were babies I was just so so irritated with the cat sometimes. But obviously we haven't got rid of him because he's our pet, he has a nice life here still and I'm not sure anyone else would want him! I watch him like a hawk with the toddler or just don't allow him in the same room, but weirdly he's never actually scratched or bitten the children, just me! Keep your cat unless it is actually doing something to damage your wellbeing.

cushioncovers · 31/01/2023 06:48

How old is the baby? Is your Dh just panicking and having a knee jerk reaction to settling in with a newborn ?

sandgrown · 31/01/2023 06:54

Cats don’t set out to smother babies but they are sometimes attracted by the smell of milk and the warmth of a pram. Keep your cats but be vigilant and buy cat nets . I once found mine happily sleeping in the pram . Luckily baby was with me .

Tekkentime · 31/01/2023 07:04

What's his concern? Is the cat meowing all night? Pees around the house? Violent? Is he allergic?

Will any family members take the cat at least temporarily?

MushMonster · 31/01/2023 07:08

Hasn't he ever watched the endless amount of videos of babies having a great time with their cats?

Mariposa26 · 31/01/2023 07:17

NotAnotherBathBomb · 31/01/2023 06:31

This is what I was coming to say. My dad is a GP and had a patient whose baby was suffocated by their cat. He was against them around babies ever since.

Show quote history

There are more documented cases of babies being killed by their father than by a cat.

Hobbesmanc · 31/01/2023 07:19

I can't find a single verified case of a baby being smothered by a cat. The only report via the sun in a dubious one from Russia. So it amazing that posters on here are aware of half a dozen cases at least. Hmmmm

Just use common sense

Redebs · 31/01/2023 07:19

I would rehome cats if there was a baby due to the hygeine issues

Pootle40 · 31/01/2023 07:19

BIahBIahBIah · 30/01/2023 23:27

I agree with him.

They are unsanitary, and you're going to have to be constantly vigilant. So much hard work with a baby.

I had 3 cats when both boys born.....what tosh!

NotAnotherBathBomb · 31/01/2023 07:25

Mariposa26 · 31/01/2023 07:17

There are more documented cases of babies being killed by their father than by a cat.

Show quote history

Oh I’m sure, not saying I’d get rid of a cat myself but just that maybe that’s why he had that fear.

BreviloquentBastard · 31/01/2023 07:42

I hate cats but I think your husband and some of the people on this thread are being ridiculous.

If you choose to have a pet, you don't just dispose of it on a whim because you now have a child (not you specifically OP but rather the collective you). They're not placeholders for babies, and if that is what your pet is to you then you need therapy, not a child.

evemillbank · 31/01/2023 07:46

I'm with your husband

Vaselining · 31/01/2023 07:48

CrapBag76 · 31/01/2023 05:11

So fucking sick of people thinking pets are just disposable when you have a baby. You are that animals family! It is a living creature, not a fucking pair of shoes.

No wonder all the rescues are full to the fucking brim.

Boils my piss.

Oh give over. No one is saying she should kill the cat, only rehome it. As if cats really care who buys them cat food and plays with them.

Patanat · 31/01/2023 07:57

Vaselining · 31/01/2023 00:05

But people are? Of all the psychopathic things I've read in my life, these posts take the biscuit.

They're cats, op, cats! Surely once you have a real child you don't need to substitute with furry pets. Fgs if it makes your husband uncomfortable just rehome them and focus on your actual family.

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What crap advice. (To the point I doubt it’s genuine tbh.)

If DH makes op get rid of her friends or favourite clothes or treasured keepsakes would the advice be the same? After all, on the face of it her partner is more important.

It’s an unreasonable request. Hopefully he’s just nervous and can be reasoned with. But if he just cba with the cats now the baby is coming and is pressuring op to rehome against her wishes
that would make him both callous and controlling.

Tekkentime · 31/01/2023 07:58

Vaselining · 31/01/2023 07:48

Oh give over. No one is saying she should kill the cat, only rehome it. As if cats really care who buys them cat food and plays with them.

Show quote history

Agreed, animals are resilient to change. It'll be OP that's upset, not the cat. 😂

Patanat · 31/01/2023 08:04

The reason you don’t rehome if you can possibly avoid it isn’t that the cat wouldn’t get over it - although not all cats are that resilient, no. It’s because you can’t guarantee the cat will go to a decent home, or to any home at all. Some cats that end up in rescues will never be rehomed, a pretty sad end for a pet who has lived with a family all its life.

I sincerely hope the people expressing agreement with the husband wouldn’t dream of getting a cat in the first place.

Vaselining · 31/01/2023 08:04

It’s an unreasonable request. Hopefully he’s just nervous and can be reasoned with. But if he just cba with the cats now the baby is coming and is pressuring op to rehome against her wishes
that would make him both callous and controlling.

It's not at all unreasonable. You may disagree and think that there is no problem having a cat with a baby, but it's absolutely not an irrational fear. It's fully understandable where he's coming from, and TBF no one can actually guarantee it won't be a problem.

This is a situation where one of them will have to compromise and it's up to the couple to decide on how to figure it out. But to pretend this is about the husband being callous and controlling is just nasty and disingenuous.