Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Husband wants to get rid of cats due to newborn baby

163 replies

anniz91 · 30/01/2023 22:53

Hi all

My husband has suddenly changed his attitude / behaviour towards our cats and now wants to get rid of them after the arrival of our baby.

Has anyone been in this situation?

He is now blaming me that I was the one who wanted cats but we were both wanting them prior pregnancy. I am absolutely heartbroken if I have to be forced into agreement in giving them up.

OP posts:
LorW · 30/01/2023 23:42

He’s probably seen the thing online about cats sleeping on babies and has made himself anxious.

sit down with him and go through concerns/worries and find work around ways, for example if he is anxious about a cat smothering baby perhaps get cat nets for the crib? You can buy them pretty much everywhere 😁

Joeylove88 · 30/01/2023 23:52

Pets should be treated as part of the family not just something to keep temporarily - the only valid reason would be if your cat was showing signs of aggression to the baby or acting on it. My cat is my other baby I couldn't be without him. I hope you manage to resolve the situation OP.

EzzieM · 30/01/2023 23:56

Is your DH from a very old fashioned area of the world? Two generations ago in England there was a rumour that you should get rid of your cats if you have a baby because there was a (total nonsense) fear that the cat would smother the baby.

We had cats befoe we had DC. All fine except that cats were very miffed for a long while not to be top of the pecking order anymore.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Cats Families General parenting
DoNotEatPickles · 30/01/2023 23:57

No need to get rid of pets just because of a baby. You took responsibility for your pets when you chose to get them and need to see it through. Would you rehome your child because caring for them gets a bit more complicated?

My last cat was 12 years old when DD was born. No issues at all (or with the dog). We borrowed a realistic crying doll that I cuddled lots while pregnant to get them used to the noise and me being less available. When DD arrived we made sure both pets still got lots of attention and ensured they both had quiet, safe spaces to go and chill. Obviously supervised closely and DD has been taught to notice their body language and treat them with respect and kindness as she has grown up.

DCat died when DD was 3-years-old and DD helped choose our current boy who is also lovely with her although DD (now 8) is still sometimes thrown by having a playful young cat rather than a snoozy elderly one.

SwordToFlamethrower · 31/01/2023 00:01

Just get rid of the cat.

Vaselining · 31/01/2023 00:05

JupiterFortified · 30/01/2023 22:57

I’d get rid of the husband before the cats.

Can’t stand it when people think animals are disposable.

Stand your ground OP x

But people are? Of all the psychopathic things I've read in my life, these posts take the biscuit.

They're cats, op, cats! Surely once you have a real child you don't need to substitute with furry pets. Fgs if it makes your husband uncomfortable just rehome them and focus on your actual family.

musicalfrog · 31/01/2023 00:18

Wow some people. Can't believe some of the responses here. I'm sure you'll be vigilant with your baby OP! And most cats will want to stay as far away from your baby as possible (until they realise they can get a fuss from them when they are older 😊)

WetBandits · 31/01/2023 00:24

Vaselining · 31/01/2023 00:05

But people are? Of all the psychopathic things I've read in my life, these posts take the biscuit.

They're cats, op, cats! Surely once you have a real child you don't need to substitute with furry pets. Fgs if it makes your husband uncomfortable just rehome them and focus on your actual family.

Show quote history

ConfusedConfusedConfusedConfused

verdantverdure · 31/01/2023 00:33

There is no logical reason to do so @anniz91.

What is the "reason" he is giving?

Barleysugar86 · 31/01/2023 00:49

It's good to have pets in the house with little kids. Children who grow up around animals are less likely to develop allergies.

www.newscientist.com/article/2188610-the-more-pets-you-meet-as-a-baby-the-lower-your-risk-of-allergies/

What is his specific objection?

GarlicCrackers · 31/01/2023 00:57

anniz91 · 30/01/2023 22:53

Hi all

My husband has suddenly changed his attitude / behaviour towards our cats and now wants to get rid of them after the arrival of our baby.

Has anyone been in this situation?

He is now blaming me that I was the one who wanted cats but we were both wanting them prior pregnancy. I am absolutely heartbroken if I have to be forced into agreement in giving them up.

Tell him I have 6 cats, 4 dogs and a newborn - I manage fine

user432900976 · 31/01/2023 03:50

Jellybean23 · 30/01/2023 23:24

Cats do walk and sit on worktops which might be giving him the ick (it would me too), shed fur and are known to sleep on a baby. How many cats do you have?

They're not known to sleep on babies. 🙄 What a load of nonsense.

ShellsOnTheBeach · 31/01/2023 04:10

Show him a few of the millions of babies & cats videos on YouTube?

Mariposa26 · 31/01/2023 04:21

There is no reason to get rid of the cats. I know many households with cats and babies. Just ensure not to leave them unattended, as you would with any animal. Some of these posts are unhinged - I have never known or heard or a cat that “likes to sleep on babies” and even if that is a worry, just shut the door!
If you think cats are unsanitary, have you ever met a cat and have you ever heard of cleaning your house?!

Mariposa26 · 31/01/2023 04:23

Jellybean23 · 30/01/2023 23:24

Cats do walk and sit on worktops which might be giving him the ick (it would me too), shed fur and are known to sleep on a baby. How many cats do you have?

Do you make food directly on a worktop and without cleaning it?

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 31/01/2023 04:26

I remember being asked by a work colleague if we were getting rid of the cats when DW was pregnant with our first cat. My response was 'don't be so bloody stupid'.
A very small amount of common sense will enable you to have cats and babies together perfectly safely, and I firmly believe that the benefits for children growing up around cats massively outweigh any perceived risks.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 31/01/2023 04:28

Pregnant with our first child. 🤣

Choc2022 · 31/01/2023 04:56

@AutumnScream sounds horrendous and incredibly unfair on you and tbh a potentially dangerous situation.

@Vaselining I agree!

Ive heard a story of a cat urinating in a babys crib/moses basket. Also heard a story of a cat cuddling up to baby too close which resulted in parents taking baby to a and e as scared of suffocation/affects of fur on babies face. Cats carry many diseases including Toxoplasmosis, they shed fur everywhere, and often come into contact with vermin. Moreover cats are unpredictable and jelous.

Just because some people treat cats like their actual children who they have given birth to doesn't mean they should take precedent to your actual baby or DP. DP must have reasons that should be respected. A load of mumsnet readers opinions does'nt mean his opinions aren't valid. He too is a parent with concerns and baby safety is paramount.

Intrepidescape · 31/01/2023 05:02

My cat became aggressive towards my baby. I have to keep the cat away from my baby. She warned me what she was capable of when she very slowly went to bite his head. She would also get very upset every single time he cried and it would set her meowing.

I am actually with your husband on this one.

CrapBag76 · 31/01/2023 05:11

So fucking sick of people thinking pets are just disposable when you have a baby. You are that animals family! It is a living creature, not a fucking pair of shoes.

No wonder all the rescues are full to the fucking brim.

Boils my piss.

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/01/2023 05:16

AutumnScream · 30/01/2023 23:34

I sympathize with dp tbh. Not saying get rid of the cats but it doesn't make him a bad person.

I have 3 cats, well they are my dps cats. I dont like them im not a cat person and im expecting a baby soon. He treats them like children and has already refused to keep the bedroom door shut when baby arrives as he thinks the cats take priority and should have free reign of the bedroom. These cats keep me awake all night because they jump on me, purr in my ears and touch my face all night long. Their fur is all over my babys crib and clothes and swing and they refuse to get out of the crib. They also jump off the door frame onto the crib which i cant have when the baby arrives. They have also ripped the car seat hood with their claws.

Each to their own but i find cats destructive and not safe around babies so i see your husbands point. Have you got a cat net for the cot? Im getting one to try and stop them going in the crib.

I sympathise with you. Assuming you have more than one bedroom, I would sleep in there with your baby.

As to op, he is being unreasonable to expect you to get rid of your cats. You do need boundaries with them though as this post from is Autumn illustrating.

Jendrw5 · 31/01/2023 05:23

Cats (and dogs) can be very beneficial for babys, they're less likely to get conditions such as asthma if they're around pets when they're young.

Also, my DS adores our cats, and the cats can enjoy his antics sometimes too.

Catspyjamas17 · 31/01/2023 05:25

I'd have rehomed DH if he suggested that.

Suzi888 · 31/01/2023 05:25

BIahBIahBIah · 30/01/2023 23:27

I agree with him.

They are unsanitary, and you're going to have to be constantly vigilant. So much hard work with a baby.

Gulp. Yes you might have to get up off your ass and god forbid move! and clean. Oh god.

100% your children will want pets as they grow up. What then. Get more disposable animals?

It sounds like your other half calls the shots. I hope they go to a nice home.

Catspyjamas17 · 31/01/2023 05:36

We actually got a kitten not long after I had DD2, as I didn't want to leave it too late getting a companion for cat no 1, I'd wanted two of the litter when she was born but it wasn't possible. The mum had a second litter, so they are siblings but not litter mates and ten months apart. DD2 is one month older than cat 2. Lovely cats and always great around DDs and they have grown up together. DDs now 17 and nearly 14, cats 14 and 13. 😻

Swipe left for the next trending thread