When did this etiquette change at kids parties?

[SantaOnFanta]

I remember as a child in the 1980's it was the thing at the end of the party to sit in a circle and the child opened everyone's presents and said thank you.

Now no presents get opened at parties and you rarely hear a thank you afterwards.

At what point did this all change?

Our eldest was born in the early 90s and it wasn’t a thing then and I was a 70s child and it never happened then either .

Another 80s child here and I remember opening presents after everyone had left and the party was over. Too busy enjoying the party to open presents! Your way sounds odd to me!

I was a child in the 80's and I don't remember doing that. I think it was perhaps different in different areas and has become less common rather than just a time thing.

Can’t think of anything more boring at a party than having to sit there and watch the birthday girl / boy opening all their presents!

Presents never opened at parties when I was young... 80s/90s. Or amongst DDs friends. Thank yous are verbal not written.

It's an American thing no?

Present opening at parties was mixed when I was a kid - some did it, some didn’t. I was told by my parents it was rude to open presents in front of everyone - I think because kids’ reactions aren’t always great, and it also shows up inequalities in budgets. However, not saying thank you afterwards is rude.

Never happened in the 90s. I didn't think this was a thing. What a boring thing to do for the other kids

Surely they say thank you when you hand the gift over .

I was born in 86 and I remember it happening when I had parties at home until I was ajout 9? Then I had a party in a hall and didn’t open presents then- I remembered being excited the birthday continued when I got home and could open them!

I think that may just have been among your circle. My siblings and I attended parties throughout the 70s and 80s between us and that wasn't a Thing near us.

(Plus, "let's publicly compare the gifts everyone bought"? Yikes. So much potential for that to backfire...)

I don’t remember this happening when I was a child in the 80s so I’m not sure it’s a recent change. It’s just a bit boring for the other children isn’t it?

80s child. Was never a thing at any party I attended growing up. Most parties here are full class plus family children on top. It’d take half the party time to open all the presents. We’ve always been thanked though. Maybe you just mix with rude people OP 🤷‍♀️

Never done here.

Dd opened hers afterwards and I made a note of who sent what so we could write thank you letters.

Doesn’t sound like a great thing to be honest…Child’s reaction to presents, highlighting economic differences between families, putting children with a cheaper/less fitting present in the spotlight in front of everyone, etc. I’d say this has changed for the better.

A very interesting mix of replies.

Maybe it was just the kids at my school then and it set a trend that for the last part of the party the presents were opened.

And yes I agree it was long and boring to watch!

Exactly what I was going to say. I grew up in a very poor area and this would have been so rude showing who could afford a £10 doll or stationary set, or a 20p packet of sweets.

Not a thing for us in the 90s, not a thing now. Both then and now there are thank yous though, either via note / message or in person when you see them

I was a child in the 70s and I don't remember that. We opened the presents and wrote thank yous afterwards. A present opening circle sounds terrible all round.

70s/80s child - I do not remember this, it doesn't spring to mind, end of party was party bag time and piece of cake.

This never happened at any parties as far as I can remember. They must have been opened afterwards. You’d say thank you when the present was handed over

At a home party with say 8-10 child guests, this was sometimes a thing (looking back 2 generations, where the 3rd would be now) although we would have written a thank you note afterwards so an adult at the party would have written down who gave what. At a larger party or one at an outside venue, no we took them home, opened them, wrote the list, wrote thank you notes, gave them out at school or posted them.

What I am shocked at now is how many people don't write a thank you note or even send a text for Christmas and birthday cards, and likewise don't get their children to do it - it's a good way to practice writing and letter composition skills age-appropriately as well as being a courtesy. Especially when you weren't there when they opened them. I was at a business thing the other day with a talk about client relationships and one thing they were saying was to send handwritten cards and notes for big events, promotions, anything relevant. So it's still a useful skill.

I think at my childhood parties presents were opened as they were given, so as children arrived at the party. I also remember being really horrible to a child who didn't bring one so it seems a good thing to have changed.

Thank yous haven't changed though. A child will still say thank you when given a present by another child, you might not hear it, but then your parents wouldn't have when you were at parties.

My kids don’t open the presents at the party but they verbally say thank you and they write thank you notes within a week of the party. I NEVER say thank you on their behalf on whatsapp.

We do the gifts at home and I stand over the kids noting who gave what and sending texts same day thanking for gift and for attending the party