When did this etiquette change at kids parties?

[SantaOnFanta]

I remember as a child in the 1980's it was the thing at the end of the party to sit in a circle and the child opened everyone's presents and said thank you.

Now no presents get opened at parties and you rarely hear a thank you afterwards.

At what point did this all change?

My inlaws would do this or expect to and I hated it. My nephew would just jump in and 'help'. At parties it's boring, takes too much time, there's usually a kid that has a tantrum and it just highlights financial disparity. I don't see the point. My kids relax and open the presents from friends afterwards and I text their parents to say thanks for attending and the present.

I also think it is to avoid the embarrassing double ups, the kids who have brought a smaller pressie, or with little kids to prevent the comment of "I've already got this". You can then manage things in a way for the ease of all guests.

It's always been bad form to open presents with others there. Never used to officially thank or get thanks.

nowadays we use WhatsApp to organise parties and say thanks after.

I remember opening presents at the start of parties, but they were nearly always in people's houses. Soft plays and things like that didn't exist.

Eldest is 22. It never happened. I’m 51 and can’t remember that happening. I think the gifts were opened after and thank you notes written by me in the 70s/80s and I certainly got my DC to write them after their parties.

Conversely we had a party last week, 15 families, I think one thank you. I reckon it cuts both ways…

I was born in the 80s and always unwrapped in front of who gave it to me and and thanked them in person.

I'm a child of the 80s and can't remember what happened re presents! But I would say now it depends on the size of the party. When my DD turned 10 and just had 4 friends over, she did open the presents with them there, and it was really nice. For all over birthday parties - bigger ones - we brought the presents home to open later.

I grew up abroad so my experience is irrelevant. But DH is Russian and it’s seen as extremely rude not to open the present in front of the giver and give it appropriate attention/praise - you have to be ready with a compliment and sincere(-sounding) thanks. Not opening it is seen as not valuing it or casting it aside. I expect it might extend to other similar cultures.

70's /80's child and this was not a thing in my neck of the woods

The lack of thanks for presents (I’d say it’s 50/50 at best for my reception age kid) drives me crackers. Just such poor form. I don’t like “Thanks everyone for coming and for the lovely gifts, Oliver is such a lucky boy!” to the party WhatsApp group but even that’s better than deafening silence.

Working class in late 70s and early 80s. No present opening. It would have been considered rude especially since some families couldn't afford presents

Yes of course it's rude not to say thank you. But I am oldish and used to children writing thank you notes. Just a text seems a bit rude to me! But I suppose times change 🙂

I don't remember that in the 80's, are you sure you're not muddling up pass the parcel?
We always send thank you cards after opening presents and I usually WhatsApp the parents too.

I think it’s for the better tbh. Opening presents in front of others can be embarrassing when children don’t react the way they should or if there are duplicates or if some presents are clearly more expensive and exciting. A thank you is ok verbal group thank you, rather than individual ones but we get thank you cards too sometimes.

My kids don’t open the presents at the party but they verbally say thank you and they write thank you notes within a week of the party. I NEVER say thank you on their behalf on whatsapp.

^ same

I've never done this - aside from family presents as a kid.

A text thank you imo for a kids party is perfectly acceptable - notes are a bit of a waste when it's been a large class party. I never ever received a note I've got 3 kids of varying ages and have bought no end of presents.

Obviously the children are in school together and can thank in person - I've always only sent a note to a family member I won't see even back years ago - if you thank someone in person a note is really overkill

I think that the difference is that 1970/80’s parties were usually at home, lasted around 3 hours, and mostly consisted of food, followed by party games organised by the birthday child’s parents.

Parties now are 2 hours maximum, usually at a party venue (laser tag, soft play etc) so there’s not really time for present opening. Also tbh watching someone open their birthday presents is really boring and unnecessary.

I was born mid 80s in Canada and we always opened presents at parties. I liked it, it was always fun to see what toys the birthday child got.

Because of this we always said thank you at the time, because you were literally handed the present by the giver to open. I assumed not opening presents at the party was an English thing.

I don't send thank yous for presents. I say thank you when handed the present at the party. TBH because we open them later there is less connection between the giver and the gift - my kids have zero interest in reading the cards and we often end up having no idea who the gift is from.

I was a child in the 80s and we always opened the presents after everyone left. We always invited the whole class and always had the parties at home, if you were to open 25 odd presents in would take ages. It also avoids any embarrassment when some friends spend £15 and others spend a fiver. Never been to a part apart from small family do where people open presents there and then.

My eldest was born in 99 and we definitely never did this at parties. Sounds very boring.

Literally never ever heard of this.

Generally there's a thanks for coming and the pressies on the party whatsapp chat.

But much more of the thank you messages are, rightly, to the person who put on the party

So glad presents are not opened in front of everyone these days and the focus is on the kids enjoying the party. My kids had parties this year and gifts ranged from hoodies, hot wheels sets, gift cards to packs of Haribo or chocolate. When we opened them at home, we made the same ‘wow’ over every gift so ours kids know its not about the money, but the thought that counts. If gifts had been opened in front of all the kids, this could have made those who cant afford as much feel embarassed and awkward. Also, how unexciting for the kids if they did have to watch - most kids just want to go crazy on copious amounts of sweets at parties!