When did this etiquette change at kids parties?

[SantaOnFanta]

I remember as a child in the 1980's it was the thing at the end of the party to sit in a circle and the child opened everyone's presents and said thank you.

Now no presents get opened at parties and you rarely hear a thank you afterwards.

At what point did this all change?

I always write thank you cards, even now. I'm expecting my first and will encourage written thank yous, especially to family,but maybe not the round opening!

I would never do this for 3 main reasons:

1. Too much potential to highlight inequalities / duplicates etc
2. I need time to write down who have what so we can do the thank you cards - I’d never remember if it was all opened in a rush like that
3. Excruciatingly boring for those having to watch

*who gave what, sorry

Never at any 80s parties I attended

I've never heard of this or experienced it.

I was a child in the 1980s.

We never opened gifts during the party but I was made to write thank you letters. I'm planning to make my dc write letters too.

i dont remember
my own dc were born from 1994 onwards, and no presents were opened durign the parties.

Your way is totally embarrassing for families that may not have been able to afford a bigger present. My son used to get some cards with £10, some Lego sets that used to cost £20 and some children that just bought a box of malteasers. He didn’t mind as it was total present overload anyway and opening them at home means no one feels shit! I once opened cards from my friends when I was about 13, one of my less well off friends have me £5, the next £10 and another £20. I felt awful from the look in my friends face, she went in her bag and said something along the lines of ‘oh silly me I put the wrong note in’ but I knew it wasn’t true. My mum gave her the money back while no one else was around and she nearly burst into tears.

I don't remember ever watching anyone open anything. But that said, there is a birthday photo of me aged eight, grinning, with a care bear cousin, some Matey, and a friend next to me. Personally, I think it's better for the other child guests to wait til after.

I do remember doing this but I hated it as the birthday child. I also hate it as an adult at birthdays and Christmas.

It's boring and also a bit embarrassing.
What if you're the kid whose parents couldn't afford much, or just brought a card.

Just let the kids enjoy the party and have presents later. They'd far rather be playing.

Honestly, as long as a parent is thanked, why does it matter?

I was born in the 70s and this has never been a thing to my knowledge 🙄 we were always taught it was rude to open presents in front of guests Tbh 🤷

You say thank you at the time and send a thank you card afterwards, or you did when mine were small, they were 80/90s parties

Sitting watching the birthday child opening presents could also be detrimental to the child whose present is more modest than the others, children can be so very cruel.
My children were having parties in the 80s and don't recall this at all, presents were opened when everyone had left.

I was a kid in the 70s early 80s and we did sit and watch the birthday kid open gifts. Usually we would end up playing with them too before the party ended. I didn’t go to many parties again til my DD became school aged in early 2000s and I would say that’s when I saw a change. About half the kids opened them during the party and the other half didn’t.

I found particularly with younger children that opening lots of presents in one go is just too overwhelming for them. And other kids got upset there were more toys they couldn't play with! Better to let them open one or two at a time after the party, let them play with it until they get bored then move onto the next. Birthdays could last a couple of days but I found it less overwhelming for DC.

No idea about the circle thing but my DD are forced to write thank you notes.

We never did this when I was a child in the 80s. It does irk me too that parents never usually say thank you these days after the child has presumably opened the present at home, though.

Never heard of this.

Never heard of it!

I was an 80s child and my mum made me wait as she said it was rude to open gifts whilst friends were there.

I've literally never heard of this ever in my entire life. You went to some weird parties.

I was a child in the 80s and I don’t remember this. We live somewhere where this present opening is the norm and I hate it. It’s a frenzy and the child opening them become manic, and all the kids are pushing and shoving and if the birthday boy doesn’t like the gift the giver always gets upset, kids have no filter and it’s just awful to watch. We are the family that says ‘no, he’ll open them after the party finishes’ and everyone hates us. But then our kids get to enjoy opening his gifts, writes his thank you cards and sends a pic of him with the gift to his friend. And it works out much better.

It's a thing where we live in the French speaking part of Switzerland.. totally threw me the first time I saw it.

My mum was always against that, I knew a few people who had parties where that happened but my mum hated it and I agree with her. It highlights the financial differences between others and can be embarrassing for the other children. We always opened them in private and said thank you when we received the present - the thought is what counts (and if we didn't get a present it was thank you for coming) - and we do the same now with my children.