When did this etiquette change at kids parties?

[SantaOnFanta]

I remember as a child in the 1980's it was the thing at the end of the party to sit in a circle and the child opened everyone's presents and said thank you.

Now no presents get opened at parties and you rarely hear a thank you afterwards.

At what point did this all change?

I never got to open them and I think it’s wise because kids tend to say far too honest things in front of other kids about what they don’t like and feelings get hurt. Always text thank you and remind kids to thank in person where poss.

I always text and say thank you for gifts given to my child. I’ve noticed there’s a divide though some do and some don’t. I personally think it’s rude not ti say thank you.

I don’t remember this.

But they aren’t opened until after the party

Never done this or seen it done when I was younger. Thank-yous are usually said when the present is received, however my younger children now attend a school where the parents seem to text each person after the party to say thank you again. Nobody at my older children's primary school ever did that and I can't be arsed with doing it myself.
You can tell by the tone of the message that they haven't a clue what you gave their child either. It's just that one person started it (and, to give them credit, they did know what I'd gifted to their child) and everyone else followed like sheep.

Last week i took my daughter and her classmate to another classmates party. The girl i picked up had no present. I know the fanily are struggling. We dont open presents at parties as some people can afford to give more than others., and we would unfairly spotlight kids whose families cant afford anything.
But always, always, always my kids write a thank you to those who have given them gifts.

80s baby here. Would occasionally open the odd present or two at my birthday parties but what you describe never happened at any of my parties or ones I went to.

The not saying thank you is rude and people being overly busy I think.

We never opened them in front of each other though.
I don’t think it’s really fair on the kids to sit there awkwardly watching everyone’s presents get opened. Not for young kids anyway.

We never did that at my parties, or my daughter's or my grandchildren.

I’m sure I opened them as soon as I received them, so no waiting till the end and no formality. I even started tearing apart the pass-the-parcel on one occasion. This was the seventies. I’m not sure what happened at other people’s parties but I don’t think it happened at the end. Perhaps when parties got really big, the presents were saved till later like at a wedding.

1980's child here - never remember that, unless it was literally a party with a couple of mates at home.

I'd feel really awkward doing it - showing what people can/can't afford, embarrassment of duplication etc. Thank you's always said when the gift is handed over

I'm American and we always opened after everybody had left. Then sat down and wrote a thank you note.

I remember this at 80s parties too. I’m also slightly taken aback that we don’t get thank yous for presents (although, given the pain that DS1’s Reception whole class party caused when I had to write all the notes because he was less than two months into school…). Perfectly happy with a text but radio silence is common here.

At a younger party, I would think this was really bad manners, you are hosting not showing off your spoils while other kids sit there enviously. The kids I have seen do this are never the ones who are encouraged to be polite when they don't like something either.

However, I think around age 10, when they are going out with a couple of friends and the giver has actually chosen the present, rather than the parent, it's different. The giver wants to see their reaction, especially as there was normally a personalised/crafty element to what they had brought. Then it's okay.

I've never been to a party where that happened and I'm in my 50's. Never seen it happen at parties my kids have been to. I have always encouraged mine to write a thank you card.

I was born early 80s, grew up in Home Counties, and I also recall presents being opened in front of everyone sat in a circle at the party.

I've never done that and I was born in the 80s. Most people send a little clip of their child saying thank you nowadays or just a thank you on WhatsApp, it's a bit rude if not.

I do remember trying some of the birthday cake straight after singing happy birthday though. Now it just gets taken into the kitchen and either cut up for party bags or not even shared at all.

I always write thank you letters, and my children did too

Bad manners not to

I was born in the mid-70s and remember similar (although I recall it being at the beginning of a party). I remember thinking one friend was really odd as they never did this but waited until everyone had left.
However, I am really glad the etiquette has changed. As I got older, I remember feeling really embarrassed & awkward about whether we had got the "right" gift and whether we had spent enough. The answer was often no which meant I felt even more embarrassed and awkward. I also remember one friend bursting into tears as the recipient, on opening a box of Maltesers, asked where the rest of the present was.
Around us, the etiquette is either to send a generic text saying thank you or to send indivisible texts thanking people for the individual gifts.

We never at in a circle and opened the gifts at parties, I think as not to draw comparisons between gifts OR we are too busy playing all the usual party games, not sure why not to be honest.
However- Thankyou notes for every child after the party was a must, if a child didn’t bring a gift we sent them a note to thank them for coming.

My DD doesn't open at the party, but as RSVPs are all by text message now, I make a note of all gifts received and text the parents afterwards.

Never heard of this.

DD went to a party this year where the presents were opened while everyone watched. I have never seen it before then, even in the 90's.

Not a thing in Yorkshire in the eighties.

Increasingly I get a gift thank you a few days / a week or so after the party. It's become a trend to open one present a day and thank when it's been opened.

We tried it this summer and it reduced the number of gifts that were forgotten three seconds after they were unwrapped. Not always easy to know who brought what though.

Ne er heard if it and sounds pretty excruciating, both from the boring aspect and the differences in what was bought, not to mention an indifferent dismalln