When did this etiquette change at kids parties?

[SantaOnFanta]

I remember as a child in the 1980's it was the thing at the end of the party to sit in a circle and the child opened everyone's presents and said thank you.

Now no presents get opened at parties and you rarely hear a thank you afterwards.

At what point did this all change?

Never done this before, never would.

I’m 40 and it was never the done thing. Even then it was understood to be awkward seeing presents of different value, regifted presents, duplicates etc. It was always done at home to spare any awkwardness and to ensure the right person got a thank you card for the right present.

I was a 1970s child too but I really don’t recall what I got or opening in a circle or as guests came in and gave presents.

I recall going to other kids parties and giving a present, witnessing the presents being opened but I’m sure it was as each guest arrived.

In my junior school there were only 2-3 people who had annual birthday parties, me and DB (birthday in same month) and a girl in my class whose parents were considered as well off but they weren’t really!

My DM had a family friend who worked in a college as a technician come over (he offered!) and he did disco lights (traffic flashing lights and others) and had a tape deck/mix turntable. We had a fairly large house and garden and a piano but weren’t well off.

The girl who had the other party didn’t have an entertainer (they weren’t really a thing then) but she did have a video player where we watched ET which was exciting and she had a Soda Stream which was a novelty.

One little boy did have parents who hired the local modern community hall and there were small tables and outside catering and it felt like a posh venue like a nightclub..

My DM in the 70s and I think early 1980s and for extra money as she was a drama teacher she did put Punch and Judy etc shows for posh people.

Born mid 70's north east. We definitely did this. Each present was opened in front of a gathering circle as and when children arrived.

I have a distinct memory of opening a bumper colouring book and pens and having to feign joy (I hated colouring).

It was excruciating but excellent practice for adult life (which seems to involve a lot of pretending to like things!)

I'm 52, my sister is 42, I have two grown up children aged 29 and 25. We cover a few decades and I've never attended, or hosted, a party where the presents were opened at the end. Presents were saved for when the party was well and truly over and all tidying up was done.

No it's not if you've said thank you in person.

We don’t open presents till after the party as I would rather the kids were enjoying it rather then an watching the birthday child. I always send a thank you text round later in the day - I think this is best as it stops any comparisons and let them get on with having fun

Are you American?

Thats an American tradition that goes along with their 'shower' parties, it Britain its always been the height of rudeness to open a gift infront of attendies.

You simply don't flaunt that you have what they don't and theres zero purpose for rubbing peoples faces in it.

I vaguely remember it happened at some parties, usually only very small ones. Definitely not all.

When my sister was smaller (she is 10 years younger than me) more parties were bigger numbers and much less likely to involve opening presents.

All the parties dd went to (she is now 20y) or had when at primary didn't involve opening gifts. Most of the parties were 10+ guests.

It must be very boring for a circle of 10+ children to sit around watching one other child open a whole load of presents in front of them.

However, in our experience thank you was said when the gift was handed over and thank you notes were sent following the party once the presents were opening.

Because kids parties then were mainly at home with the odd Wimpy or Maccies party thrown in. Nowadays kids parties are generally held at places, bowling, trampoline park, inflatable play etc etc which changes the dynamic.

I remember doing this as a kid…not sat in a circle but there was defo a present opening time. I remember it being a bit of a highlight (and awkward when there were duplicated presents)

it’s a mixed bag with birthday parties with my DD5…I’ve noticed that ‘at home parties’ tend to involve opening presents and ones at say a soft play/village hall don’t. Ours usually opens presents as given them but we tend to have an at home party and they’re ND and would struggle with the concept of waiting for their presents

Never did that as a kid, that would be bloody awful for kids to have to sit through?!

My ds is 16 and the not opening presents thing has been going on since at least he was reception age.

I remember even as a kid I’d get anxiety watching someone open a pressie from me in front of everyone. And even now I don’t really like opening presents in front of people. I always say to people who ask about buying for the kids not to feel obliged so I wouldn’t want to show any kids up if they hadn’t brought anything. It’s weird no one ever says thank you though. I text everyone after my kids’ parties to say thanks etc.

No, it was thought very rude when I was a child (although that was in the 70s) to open presents in front of everyone.

Gifts were given to the birthday girl (or boy, obvs), birthday child said thank you, and gift was put on a table/somewhere safe to be opened later.

The only gift opened in front of others was the one in pass-the-parcel. I do remember someone being the one to put a lollipop or similar in each layer, so that everyone had a prize. That was awesome 😂

Regional perhaps? I'm an 80s baby and we always opened presents at parties. I used to feel really embarrassed having to do it in front of friends for some reason! Did anyone else? Or was I just a weird child. Still don't like it now tbh.

If it’s a party then presents go onto a present table and are taken home to open afterwards. If it’s my older children and they’re taking one or two friends to the cinema, trampoline park, etc then presents are usually opened in the car on the way.

Really? I don’t remember that at all!
much better to open them later - time to make sure you note each present for the thank you card and you don’t have the embarrassment of younger children saying “but I’ve got one of those, or, I don’t like dolls…”
it must have been boring gif other children yo all sit and watch birthday child open 30 gifts at glass parties!

Sometimes the childs party aren't on the birthdate. Some parents only want the kids to open their presents on the actual day.

So surprised by this thread! We live in France and we always open presents at the party.

As an 80s child I was surprised it had changed - though it was either watch them being opened or open as they arrived.

However once you start doing event things for own children - soft play halls activities parties - there really isn't the time - everyone turns up and you get to activity then meal - then small play then gone.

So when you do have the much rarer home party - the not doing that carried over as no-one expects it as much.

I think it is an American thing of opening presents with everyone watching. I remember something similar happened at a pre wedding do, someone complained that the presents had all been opened before she, the groom’s mother, had arrived.

Sounds awful!

I threw my first dc's first party a few years ago and opened the presents later on his actual birthday. I then individually texted all 25 parents thanks for each present! Not many other people seem to do this - it seems like you leave a present on the table and get to have fun at the party in exchange... can seem a bit impersonal at huge parties but all fine really.

Same.