When did this etiquette change at kids parties?

[SantaOnFanta]

I remember as a child in the 1980's it was the thing at the end of the party to sit in a circle and the child opened everyone's presents and said thank you.

Now no presents get opened at parties and you rarely hear a thank you afterwards.

At what point did this all change?

Never heard of this trend and i think it sounds absolutely Godawful!

I distinctly remember being at a party in the 80s where the child opened the presents with all the guests in a circle.
My mum had no money and my present was a shower cap. I remember going to the toilet as I was so embarrassed by my present. I was 8 or 9.

I remember this OP! I went to a small school and it was common to only have around 10 or so girls to a party so opening presents at the end was fairly manageable. I can still remember giving someone a Sindy doll and the recipient’s obvious disappointment because they preferred Barbies!

I never know who has given my DC what, or if people haven't given anything at all. The only ones I know with any accuracy are ones which weren't opened on receipt, and have the card taped to the front, or the ones handed to me rather than to DC. Otherwise we just end up with a pile of gifts and cards in various stages of opening, with no clue who came with what. I always text everyone whose number I have, and put up a social media post Facebook thanking everyone for the cards, gifts, messages and time given to celebrate DC's birthday, and that there were grateful for everything they received. Unless I'm going to stand guard at the front gate and intercept the gifts, there's nothing much else I can do.

It's a genuine shame if that comes across as rude, I don't mean it to. I've never received a text/note etc from any of the party parents when we've been guests, so I'm going to guess it's just not the done thing here.

My youngest was at a party today where they were the only guest to actually show up, despite positive RSVPs from others. That's more rude IMHO.

Never was a thing when I was growing up in early 80s or for Dc more recently. I’d think it was rude and potentially embarrassing if someone bought an expensive gift or cheap gift or duplicates or regift.

I’m glad handwritten thank you notes have died out round here as it was a tedious chore.
But I do send individual texts to parents to say thank you for the specific present they gave. I assume people have put a bit of thought in to get something suitable. If I spend time trying to pick a nice gift and then there’s only a generic ‘thanks for all the presents’ group WhatsApp message, then it feels a bit deflating.
I also don’t think it’s enough, as some have suggested on this thread, to say a cursory thank you at the point when the present is handed over when you have no idea what it is.

Not a circle but a 1977 child here and I always opened my gifts once everyone arrived. They all held onto the gift and then gave me it one at a time, all waiting while I opened them.
Think all my friends pretty much did the same.

Just to add, I appreciate if you’re still at the ‘whole class party’ stage I appreciate it might be physically impossible to work out who gave what!

Thanks you cards seem to have died out recently. When my first was going to parties 10 years ago they were the done thing, even with full class parties. More recent parties they don’t seem to be, which is such a relief. I remember the stress of trying to keep note of who gave which and getting the birthday child to hand write them in reasonable time.

Someone once told me that if someone takes time to find you a gift, spends time and money on it, comes to your party ( dressed up probably) at least you can make the effort to handwrite a personal thank you card or letter.

I think thank you notes before the child can write are not necessary for family. With family we won't see for birthdays we video call with DS so he can say a big thank you and so they can see him playing with the toy/looking at the book etc. It feels more personal. I will always text/send notes to parents of nursery friends etc and he always says thank you on receiving the presents. Wouldn't open them at a party. Just a few family members at home for cake/sandwiches yes I'd let him open them with them. He's very happy with pretty much anything, so not worried about negative reactions.

id rather not have a thank you note, just another thing to throw away in the world of disposable everything

a text is absolutely fine, or a thank you on the day

I think insisting on a hand written thank you for a class mate is super stuffy nowadays - I only ask the DC to send to older relatives I know will appreciate it.

I prefer a text thank you from a friend's parent, it feels more personal as you can immediately reply. Lovely too is a photo of a hapoy child. I also make an exception for older relatives who appreciate receiving real post. I may too one day, but at the moment I am busy and texting gets the job done, if not perfectly.

Also texting is better than a blank silence as can happen!

Were they past retirement age? It is usually people who are who say things like this.

Same here. The knots I tied myself into getting it all achieved. When a friend told me she didn't bother it was a huge relief!

70's baby here, parties were rare but I don't remember anyone opening presents at the party

No, they're early 50s now

My kids, now 16 & 19, took presents home to open from parties, but they definitely had to say thank you, when they got them at party and once they opened them.

Yes I remember this growing up in the 90s.
To be honest there could be a few reasons, I don't think its a bad change though.
-Presents getting lost
-Children not 'liking' the present which may make the other child upset
-This shows up how much parents spend which shouldn't be important
-I know parents that keep half of their child's birthday presents for Christmas or whatever as there is just too much, half are forgot, can be used elsewhere/reused
-A lot of parents give £10 or whatever in a card, most children get given money these days, kids put it all together and buy something
-Maybe they run out of time, they're just having so much fun :)

Never seen or heard of this. What an ordeal. Especially when kids are so honest and some of these party gifts are so shit!

Yes - re opening
But - we always get and give thank.yous

Oh gosh I’d hate this especially if out.
I usually send the thank yous but the gifts get opened separately or there’s be loads of toys around and no appreciation for them.

I took my DD to a party where the young birthday girl opened presents while everyone had to sit and watch — it was boring cringey and painful !!!

No never opened presents at parties recipe for disaster if you ask me