Can I move our children away?

[CrazyCatLady00]

My kids dad keeps threatening court action as I’m moving our DC 2.5hrs away. He says he can stop me?

im moving to be near family so I will have that support and be able to give our DC a better life. I’ve always said that I’d never stop him seeing them but he is saying that I will break his bond with the DC, even though I’ve said he can have them all school holidays.

He works over 24/7 so weekends are not always an option.

AgingBadly Weird... I see a lot of posters more concerned with the mother's wishes than her children's welfare, and a lot of posters more concerned about what's best for the children than their parents' wishes. I see very few who are most concerned about the father's "rights".

I can see how you ended up in this position, but it's a real shame. I think it's colouring your view of everything else, unfortunately.

The problem is that once you have children with someone, you're pretty much stuck with them because (unless they have done something very dire indeed) anything else is not really in the children's best interests. As mentioned, I stayed put - but I have a couple of friends who have done the same. One in particular feels very isolated where she is, as all her extended family is 300 miles away. But she still can't bring herself to move the children from their schools and familiarity (one has significant ASD which would make a big change very difficult) - and, above all, their father.

It seems the dynamic that ‘worked’ IN the relationship is causing problems/resentment after it’s ended…

Sounds like dad was the breadwinner and that worked during the relationship. Dad did his duty, mum did theirs.

The relationship ends and dad’s now being shunned for continuing with the duty he once was responsible for.

Sounds like dad should cut back work, or do another job which allows him to be fully present when he has the kids, and mum should get a job for the times she doesn’t have them. Great in theory, pretty difficult in practice. You can’t shun one parent and not the other.

Clearly mum and dad didn’t appreciate each others effort IN the relationship, and that’s now created/added to resentment, but with a child in the middle. If the ‘new life’ was a bit clearer to both, maybe the relationship wouldn’t have ended 🤷🏽‍♂️

Also I notice a fair bit of mentioning mums mental health, but what about dads? What about the impact it will have on him if his children were moved further enough away that restricts his access to them, and that naturally his bond will decline slowly over time. I guess he’s the dad, he’ll get over it. It’s all about mum. It’s not right. It’s about neither.

I’m digressing, I have my own situation similar to this one. Have gotten a lot of value reading this post, hopefully things worked out for the kids and both parents.