When did you decide to have a second (or stick with one)? And why?

[december2020]

DS is coming to 18 months and I've started thinking about trying for a second. He's super energetic and hands on, so I don't think I'd be ready to try until he's 2.5 years old (not that the energy part will disappear then, I know).

DH is adamant that he's one and done (he's worried we'd get a second energy bomb). It makes me a little sad but I can accept that, the last thing I would do is force someone to have a child. However, he won't let me get rid of any of the baby stuff yet (clothes, next to me etc.). So we decided we'll make a final decision in a years time.

So I would love to hear on when you decided to have another baby or decided not to have one and what led you to that decision.

I had two pregnancies, first at 33yo - stillbirth at 39 weeks, second at 35 - my dc.
I'm now 41 and most likely done. I'm very lucky to have my miracle rainbow and want to make the most of our time together.
I + my dh have siblings. He is friendly with one of his and has no relationship with the other (I've never met him).
I have two older sisters and I love them but feel v different to them and don't regard them as my best friends. My blood pressure goes up every time I speak to them!

Both, only children or siblings can be happy or not happy with their family size depending on character, circumstances etc. You can't know what will be best for them. Logically, more resources going to one child should translate to more academic/ professional success. But again, it will depend on the individual child. I'm just going forward with what it is and trying not to second guess what could or should have been.

I wouldn’t have gotten through my childhood without my siblings and happily my kids are close too but there are no guarantees so have one or ten but it has to be your choice.

I felt I wanted to try again when DD was about 10 or 11 months and was sleeping through but I had been very unwell and we were planning a house move so I hung on. There definitely wouldn’t have been enough room for 4 people in the last house and I was worried about future lockdowns etc.

anyway DD is 2.10 and we have just started trying again. Who knows how long it will take. I feel much more ready this time though.

Wanted a second pretty much as soon as we had our first. Finally started trying just after he turned 2 (and no he’s not sleeping through at all). Still not pregnant after 7 months so glad we started

When we had DC1 we planned to start trying for number 2 after he turned 1. However, got to his 1st birthday and I wasn’t ready at all. He’d not long been sleeping through the night and I was back at work so I was still exhausted, and he’d been quite a demanding baby for various reasons so I just got to that point and said not yet. Didn’t set a date or anything. Then got to a point where DS was about 20 months and the exhaustion had worn off and we were all managing really well and it just felt right so we started trying then.

Our ds is 2.5 now and so far neither me or dh has a real urge for a 2nd. My pregnancy was easy, c section went well and we adore our son. But I had 2 miscarriages before him and although he's an awesome little fella, he is very full on! We've said if it gets to him starting school and we feel the same, ds may get the snip, but we're leaving our options open for a while. I'm leaning towards sticking with one because it would mean life would be a bit 'easier' /more comfortable.

Dh will getvthe snip, not ds obviously! What a typo to make 😂

Just wanted to see how this was going!? Any wisdom for a mama considering a second with a 17 month old?!

Yes this is a big big worry of mine. Did you decide on having another?

Well, it's been a rollercoaster 2 years. I have two little boys now and they are both the lights of my life. Since my youngest was born, my eldest had a massive skills regression and has been diagnosed with Autism. He is partially verbal and this can make things very challenging. I think I had a harder time with 2 under 2 because of this and for most people things would be easier now but for me they aren't because my boys have such differing needs. However, I wouldn't change it for the world - my youngest seems to make up for my eldest lack of vocal ability and development delay by being ahead in everything. My eldest starts school in a couple of weeks and I'm looking forward to some one on one time with my youngest as he only goes to nursery 3 days a week. We will continue this over half terms so looking forward to quality one to one time with my eldest then too. I think quality time on their own with either parent is something that we had to sacrifice having two so close together.