Sometimes when you’re in shock you may not always act in the best way. It was posted very quickly after I received the nasty messages. Within ten minutes of posting the pictures I realised my error in judgement and had them taken down. We all make mistakes, sometimes we act on emotion or clouded judgment.
Yes, so you agree that you made an error in judgement in posting photos of your infant on a nation-wide website and soliciting questions about his appearance. We seem to be in agreement. And yes, a couple of people told you to request that the photos be taken down, so you did.
It was comforting to hear from other mothers (people who have never met me or have any loyalty towards me) that the comments were purely malicious. So overall it was a really positive and anxiety settling experience.
When someone did say: OP, I had a look at the photos and at first I thought your friend was being ridiculous. When I zoomed the photos, I can see a bit of what your friend might be seeing. It is worth satisfying yourself that your baby does not have an underlying condition. This is not a dig at your baby, who I think is gorgeous. I can see a hint of something.
You replied: What did you notice about my son when you’re looked at the photos that makes you think there may be an issue with him?
Further asking for someone to tell you what was unusual about your son’s appearance!
But that poster was summarily dismissed because you already KNEW that your child is healthy because he has had so many tests. That poster was cautiously answering the very question that you had solicited.
I found the general experience very supportive and healing.
Yes, because it is unlikely that on MUMSNET anyone was going to make negative comments about an infant’s appearance are they? Even though that was what you were asking.
I’m not sure what you’re getting from your messages. The purpose of the thread was support. Your comments are worded quite harshly and judgementally. I suppose for some people placing negative judgement upon others makes them feel superior or better about themselves.
I’m unpicking this thread and this conversation because I am finding it interesting. That’s about all. But you’ve characterised my comments as suspicious and conspiratorial when all I did was summarise the thread and say that it was peculiar. How did I negatively judge you? By pondering why you would risk exacerbating your already confused state by posting photos of your son on a multi-national website and asking questions about his appearance?
Yes, I questioned your decision and you apparently agree with me. It doesn’t make me feel superior to point out that it is questionable that an infant’s photos were posted for millions of people to gawk at, sorry, it just doesn’t.
I personally wouldn’t rub salt in the wound with someone who was clearly distressed as I think that’s unkind. But everyone is different and if it makes you feel good at least more than one person has got a positive experience from this thread.
This is obviously a disingenuous reply. I have tried to keep my comments to the facts of the thread as they evolved and yet you think that I am deriving some satisfaction from being “unkind” which is bizarre. Exactly what have I written that is unkind, harsh, conspiratorial, and suspicious when I was pointing out the bloody obvious?
But since, in your own words, you have found this experience to be "supportive and healing" then that is good because that was, as you have said, your motive in posting your original post.