Annoyed at this message from my Sister about my child.

[Lou2284]

This is a message my sister sent me about my 7 year old DD.

"I just wanna say like I've noticed a certain someone screaming a lot more and I don't think it's appropriate especially in places like where there is mum who is tired and sick and also grandma.

I just feel like it's important to express that people scream in threatening situations and not for attention. Maybe you can take the phone from her for a day or something or send her to a room if she does it.

I dunno have you spoken to her about it yet?
Hope u don't think I'm overstepping any boundaries , just think it's important to say as an Auntie that there needs to be some discipline. Don't want them to think that screaming is an appropriate form of expression rather than using actual words..."

This message really got my back up, yes she was loud and she has started to try and assert her presence. I just found the message rude?
Interested in opinions.....

Does she means screaming or shouting. Two very different things.

Yabu. Your sister has clearly tried to words her message sensitively.

Your dd must scream a lot more than you realise...

I'd sit down with your sister and ask for examples, ask when she screamed. Or ask a trusted friend if you sister is right.

@Alondra

I don't know if you've answered her text yet, if you haven't something like this will be appropriate.I will answer:

"Thank you for your advice, I will take into account. If I may offer some advice as well, please don't be upset about me overstepping boundaries as I'm saying it with your wellbeing in mind, learn to spell and communicate like an adult and not a teenager. It will be much more effective. Much love".

This is a bit ridiculous given the grammar is poor, @Alondra.

"A certain somone" was this used becuase the op allows her child to use her phone and it meant to be coded by the sister?

It does seem that three generations are distressed by the behaviour of a member of the fourth. It's incredibly difficult to tackle anything like this with people you're close to and it may be this was them being brave in opening it up with you especially if they're not used to these conversations. So instead of micro focussing over little bits like 'a certain someone' etc, look at the bigger picture - how your daughter's behaviour is affecting others and how that might affect her in future.

The Mirror has picked up on this post and its comments.

There is some times, random shrieks, shouts, screams. You house must have been very subdued

I have one child. We had two others visiting this week, there was noise, raised voices, but no shrieking or screaming. It’s unnecessary.

There’s a kid who plays outside our house, was part of my daughter’s friend group in Primary school. Whatever she is playing, she runs about screaming. I wish someone would have a kind word with her parents.

@SunnyAgain what garbage journalism! They've literally just copy/pasted the post and some random comments.

So lazy.

I haven’t actually read the full thing, but spotted it as it popped up amongst other random articles on my browser home page.

Can’t stand kids randomly screaming, sets my teeth on edge. Horrible.
Listen to your sister, she’s being honest and helpful.

OP, I'm so sorry you've been given such an awful time on this thread when you are apologising for 'maybe" your child being loud and attention seeking when you are obviously not confident enough to confront your sister.

Even if your seven year old was loud and attention seeking, she's only 7 and was with family, people that loved her and should understand that being so young, this happens with kids.

Your sister didnt raise the issue with you, she sent you a crappy text denigrating your parenting and referring to her niece as "a certain someone""

Don't doubt yourself, your parenting or your's daugther behaviour. Your sister doesn't give a crap about your daughter.

I'm fucking incensed for the amount of vitriol this post has attracted. I can't fucking believe a mother with a 7 year old, who is a child, can attract so many hateful posts with people laying on the blame to the child when the OP has only made 3 posts saying her daugher is introverted and quiet but "maybe" could have been loud. This after an awful text message from the sister when she didn't even acknowlege her niece name.'

ENOUGH. Enough blaming women seeking support for your own fucking issues.

Just ENOUGH.

Screaming 7 year old boys are equally annoying as are fathers who refuse to address it 🤷‍♀️

@MrsSkylerWhite

Screaming 7 year old boys are equally annoying as are fathers who refuse to address it 🤷‍♀️

FFS

Alondra

MrsSkylerWhite
Screaming 7 year old boys are equally annoying as are fathers who refuse to address it 🤷‍♀️

FFS”

Nope, you’ve lost me. Screaming kids are bloody annoying, full stop.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Alondra

MrsSkylerWhite
Screaming 7 year old boys are equally annoying as are fathers who refuse to address it 🤷‍♀️

FFS”

Nope, you’ve lost me. Screaming kids are bloody annoying, full stop.

Yes, they are. But the sex of the children is not what the thread is about.

You mentioned it.

@MrsSkylerWhite

You mentioned it.

No. You did by by saying 7 year old boys are equally annoying.

@Alondra

I'm fucking incensed for the amount of vitriol this post has attracted. I can't fucking believe a mother with a 7 year old, who is a child, can attract so many hateful posts with people laying on the blame to the child when the OP has only made 3 posts saying her daugher is introverted and quiet but "maybe" could have been loud. This after an awful text message from the sister when she didn't even acknowlege her niece name.'

ENOUGH. Enough blaming women seeking support for your own fucking issues.

Just ENOUGH.

Agreed. But it’s not the first thread like this I ve seen. It’s a bizarre attitude to children and women but seems v prevalent on MN.

I think you ve hit nail on head. I think a lot of this is displaced guilt masquerading as self righteousness.

BeardyButton

Totally agree. Too many posts blaming the children and their mothers when women are seeking support and a voice to be heard,

It's frigging disgusting on a supposedly women parenting forum.

There is nothing more irritating than a screaming child. Some children won't be able to help it, sounds like yours can and at 7 should be able to be told. If this is an out of character text for the Aunt I would take it at face value.

Your kid needs to shut up

If my niece/nephew screamed unnecessarily i would dread seeing them

As you can see OP, mumsnet children simply do not make a peep out of turn. They are all wonderful, quiet and well-behaved in all company, especially at 7, which is practically a grown-up if you’re to listen to the advice on here.
A collective pat on the back for everyone I think.

I don't think I've ever seen a self own bigger than this thread

@cogsmede

Your kid needs to shut up

If my niece/nephew screamed unnecessarily i would dread seeing them

Awful! There’s a lot of awful posts on here. A real view into how Society views children. Truly bloody awful. This whole thread is anti child and anti mother, but some posts jst take the biscuit.