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Original poster

Annoyed at this message from my Sister about my child.

286 replies

Lou2284 · 28/12/2021 00:35

This is a message my sister sent me about my 7 year old DD.

"I just wanna say like I've noticed a certain someone screaming a lot more and I don't think it's appropriate especially in places like where there is mum who is tired and sick and also grandma.

I just feel like it's important to express that people scream in threatening situations and not for attention. Maybe you can take the phone from her for a day or something or send her to a room if she does it.

I dunno have you spoken to her about it yet?
Hope u don't think I'm overstepping any boundaries , just think it's important to say as an Auntie that there needs to be some discipline. Don't want them to think that screaming is an appropriate form of expression rather than using actual words..."

This message really got my back up, yes she was loud and she has started to try and assert her presence. I just found the message rude?
Interested in opinions.....

OP posts:
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Lightswitch123 · 28/12/2021 00:52

@TheOccupier

A 7 yo who has her own phone and who screams to get her own way? Yikes. Listen to your sister, she's only said what everyone else is thinking.
100% this
ImNotDancing · 28/12/2021 00:52

They probably had a shite day listening to her scream and she’s been nominated to ‘have a word’

SnobblyBobbly · 28/12/2021 00:52

I once had to raise an issue of my nephew being too heavy handed with my son and this is kind of similar, so the way I put it to her is that I’d rather it be me that say it to her, knowing her and loving them both, rather than someone else (nephew was about to start school) who probably wouldn’t be as forgiving.

I mean, if you genuinely believe that the screaming is fine and you’d be happy with someone else’s kid screaming in the same way then ignore her advice, but you won’t be doing your daughter any favours.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

7 year olds Families General parenting
WindowsSmindows · 28/12/2021 00:53

Could you go on a parenting course?
They can be widely available and really benefit children.
Honestly it sounds like you would really benefit from some guidance.

Original poster
Lou2284 · 28/12/2021 00:59

Well I asked her for an example because she doesn't just stand there and scream. She really doesn't do that. She doesn't have a phone. I allow her to watch on my phone.

OP posts:
ScaredOfOverDiagnosis · 28/12/2021 01:00

The idoit couple next door let their kids scream for no reason.
When the daughter legitimately screams because the son has hit her they don't even respond.
Crap parents with kids heading the same way.
No discipline and tantrums every morning and night.

Your sister has worded it very kindly.

FallonCarringtonWannabe · 28/12/2021 01:01

@Lou2284

Well I asked her for an example because she doesn't just stand there and scream. She really doesn't do that. She doesn't have a phone. I allow her to watch on my phone.
So when did she see your sister and was she screaming?
BurningTheClocks · 28/12/2021 01:01

Does she scream at school?
If not, it’s under her control and she’s making bad choices backed up by you.

lynntheyresexswappers · 28/12/2021 01:01

@Lou2284

Well I asked her for an example because she doesn't just stand there and scream. She really doesn't do that. She doesn't have a phone. I allow her to watch on my phone.
You've said she was loud and just making her presence known in your op - so what examples do you need exactly? You've admitted she was doing it yourself.
BurningTheClocks · 28/12/2021 01:03

@Lou2284

Well I asked her for an example because she doesn't just stand there and scream. She really doesn't do that. She doesn't have a phone. I allow her to watch on my phone.
So is your sister imagining your daughter making a lot of loud noise?
FallonCarringtonWannabe · 28/12/2021 01:03

@Lou2284

Well I asked her for an example because she doesn't just stand there and scream. She really doesn't do that. She doesn't have a phone. I allow her to watch on my phone.
yes she was loud and she has started to try and assert her presence

In what way was she loud? And what was she doing to assert her presence?

immersivereader · 28/12/2021 01:04

If my 7 year old started screaming in public we'd go home immediately.

If your sister has felt the need to message you about it, it's obvious that it's hit a nerve with her and your mother?

Is the phone use out of control?

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 28/12/2021 01:07

A 7 year old is absolutely too old to be randomly screaming, assuming no SEN. I think your sister was trying to be as tactful as possible, it sounds like your child was being incredibly annoying.

Slipperfairy · 28/12/2021 01:09

Dd tried the odd scream after she started primary and other girls did it. It did not go down well.

You do know that kids can be taught not to scream, don't you? I can't stand it, so mine have never done it.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 28/12/2021 01:11

yes she was loud and she has started to try and assert her presence.

It doesn’t sound like you need your sister to provide examples. You know exactly how your DD is behaving. You need to deal with it.

SocialConnection · 28/12/2021 01:14

Screaming can be upsetting to listen to, painful too . And can make people not want to be around the screamer. I think she worded it with tact and concern.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/12/2021 01:16

I 100% agree with your sister. Your update even acknowledges how bad it is. Parent your child, ffs.

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 28/12/2021 01:22

It might have been better for your sister to talk to you in person rather than text but it's clear that your DD is actually quite hard to be around sometimes and your sister is trying to help. Asserting her presence does seem to be a euphemism for 'being a pain in the arse'. Sometimes it's hard for parents to see how difficult it is for other people to be around their kids.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/12/2021 01:28

It sounds like you’re in denial. A 7 yo is a doddle to parent. You are going to have a rocky time in the tween and teen years if you think loudly (and what sounds like repeatedly) ‘asserting’ your presence is justifiable behaviour.

Cameleongirl · 28/12/2021 01:42

I’d speak directly to your sister and ask her about the behaviour she observed. I wouldn’t attempt to discuss this over texts. Then you can decide whether her observation has any validity.

JeffThePilot · 28/12/2021 01:43

I think you’re being disingenuous now, OP, you’ve already said in your first post that she was being loud and “asserting herself”.

7 year olds can assert themselves without being loud and annoying.

ddl1 · 28/12/2021 01:45

I think your sister is not unreasonable to point that your daughter is screaming excessively, and that this is troublesome to others, especially to people who are older or unwell, and to suggest that at her age she be discouraged from it.

I think she is unreasonable to suggest specific methods of discipline. That is not her business.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 28/12/2021 01:49

Don't be in denial OP nor take offence at someone who loves you and your DD trying to help. You won't be doing your DD any favours by allowing the behaviour to continue. Sounds like you're being defensive. Kids push and push, it's up to you to see a line and provide discipline.

It will serve her well as she grows up.

CharlotteRose90 · 28/12/2021 01:51

You are in denial. Your sister is right. Screaming is not a way of communication and shouldn’t be taught or allowed as one. Once you’ve calmed down could you speak to her and see if you can find any steps on how to sort dd out.

caringcarer · 28/12/2021 01:52

Sounds like you need to sit down with dd and tell her screaming for no reason gets on everyone's nerves.