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Original poster

Man told me I was putting my child in danger? I'm annoyed.

182 replies

Sophie1029734 · 14/09/2021 10:58

This is a rant more than anything but would be nice to hear from.others, what's your perspective?

I've gone to take my 19m old to her first play group but its shut for some reason, maybe ive gone to the wrong place but I'm already dissappintmented and have stuff on my mind. Instead I take her for a walk, Im about to have my first period since before pregnancy and my stomachs cramping like mad. I'm already in a bad mood.
I let her splash on a puddle just off the path, cars park there.. she was so close to the bath her leg was touching it. The roads further away so I didnt see an issue. It wasnt a main road, more like the average town road with lots of horses on either side. I had hold of her hood so if she tried anything she wouldnt be able to move away. We were also inbetween cars parked from the houses behind me. This man was repeating the same sentence "it's not wise you let her do that on the road with a truck going past" i pretended to not hear him as i tried moving away. I had to go past him. I turned around and said "how? Shes not on the road with traffic, shes on the area people use for parking?" He just made a face as if I was dumb, going no, it's not wise to do that (he said other stuff but I cant remeber, i was too annoyed). I say dont tell me how to parent and act as if you know better, she was safe. He said I know it's your child but you shoulsnt do that and whatever else I cant remeber. I said i know better (I said this in a response to something he said, cant remeber what but he laughed to himself which pissed me off) I walk off and raise me voice, told him to mind his own business and fuk off 😬 maybe not the best.
Was I in the wrong??

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 14/09/2021 11:00

Yes I think you were. I would not take my child onto a busy road with trucks going past and let her splash puddles, it’s poor road safety teaching and he’s right, something could have happened to her.

Bluntness100 · 14/09/2021 11:01

And telling him to fuck off is really rude and uncalled for. What are you trying to teach her?

ShingleBeach · 14/09/2021 11:02

If he perceived an actual danger, fair enough for him to mention it.
He should have dropped it after you replied.
You should not have told him to fuck off.

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Sirzy · 14/09/2021 11:02

He sounds like he was rude but I don’t think a car park is really the best place for puddle splashing

ThisIsNotAMill · 14/09/2021 11:03

It's really impossible to say op.

However on what you've posted - in between parked cars (in an empty space where another car may have pulled in?) and near ish a road - no it doesn't sound particularly safe to be honest.

Sirzy · 14/09/2021 11:03

And telling him to fuck off was very wrong

Planty13 · 14/09/2021 11:03

It doesn’t sound safe nor does having a hold of her by her hood??

MatildaIThink · 14/09/2021 11:04

Was I in the wrong??
Yes, you were. If someone swung into that parking area (a legitimate part of the road) they might not see a small child, I hope you never have to see the result of a car hitting a small child.

Let her splash in puddles on a pavement, in a field, in a park, not on a road.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/09/2021 11:04

Yes.

Playing puddles between parked cars isn't a great lesson to teach her, so many kids get run over because they ran out between parked cars.

However he was a dick to comment and keep going on.

But you were also wrong to escalate his response until you end up shouting and swearing at him

Wagglerock · 14/09/2021 11:05

So you were letting her splash on the road and in between cars? Yeah, you're in the wrong here.

SeriouslyISuppose · 14/09/2021 11:06

You were in the wrong. Don’t take out your bad mood out on a random passerby who pointed out that you were letting your child play on a road.

AssassinatedBeauty · 14/09/2021 11:07

Yep, you were in the wrong. Playing between parked cars next to a road is not sensible. Swearing at him was not necessary either, unless he was being actively aggressive or unpleasant to you.

If people give you unsolicited parenting or safety advice that you feel isn't warranted then don't engage with them. Just say "ok, thanks" and then carry on with what you were doing. Repeat if they continue and don't escalate the conversation.

SaturdaySpread · 14/09/2021 11:11

The fact he kept repeating himself suggests perhaps he had some issues of his own, you also have stuff going on that made you over react and I suspect you also know that he was at least a little bit right

You'll always be in the wrong you tell someone to Fuck Off in front of a small child.

MichelleScarn · 14/09/2021 11:16

So no puddles anywhere else other than on the road between parked cars? Where you also on the road or safely on the pavement given you were only holding her by the hood?
YABVVVU.

Mamette · 14/09/2021 11:16

Just head home and get a coffee, try to forget about it. People do comment and if you felt she was safe it’s best to just say “Thank you, she’s fine” and move away.

Sounds like a bad morning all round, just put it down to one of those days and try the playgroup again next time.

moynomore · 14/09/2021 11:18

Definitely no need for the fuck off, but the man should mind his own business.

discombobulatedonion · 14/09/2021 11:20

You were letting her play in the road. It doesn't matter which part of the road it was, it wouldn't even matter if it was a dead-end road that "no one uses". Do not let your child play in the road, and certainly do not tell someone to fuck off.

My son is 3 and from the day he could walk I have been telling him that we do not play in the road because it is dangerous and sometimes people can't see small children in the road, or some people are dangerous and don't drive properly down the road.

Original poster
Sophie1029734 · 14/09/2021 11:22

Personally I dont see the issue only because I knew she wouldnt run out, we weren't actually on the main road. I'll always be with her so I would never allow her to dart on to the road to be ran over etc I trusted my judgement and there wasnt a car pulling in, if there was it would've been really noticeable. I wasnt pulling the hood up and hurting her, I let it hang low but did incase. I usually have a harness but didnt today as she was supposed to be going the playgroup which is 3 mins away so I held her hand instead. I guess the thought of it does sound bad but from my perspective there was no issue because I was aware, watching. And yh some idiot could come and somehow crash there, but it's pretty hard for that to happen from where we were. The chances were slim to none. I do see where the worries lie and how it can be bad. It's not nice being told your putting your kid in danger, maybe Its stubbornness on my end too.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 14/09/2021 11:24

Well basically he was right, and you didn’t need to abuse him. I’d also think about what you’re teaching your daughter in terms of both road safety and how to speak to people. Your reaction was unpleasant.

ThisIsNotAMill · 14/09/2021 11:27

because I knew she wouldnt run out

Your wording is speaking volumes tbh.

You knew she wouldn't run out.

Anyone who says this about a toddler is naiive at best, dangerous at worst.

You never 'know' anything a toddler will or won't do because they're unpredictable. If you fail to recognise this you're putting them in danger.

CovidCorvid · 14/09/2021 11:28

He was right and even if he wasn't telling him to fuck off was wrong especially infront of your dd. You now run the risk when she has a falling out with someone at playgroup that she turns round and tells them to fuck off.

Sirzy · 14/09/2021 11:30

It’s better to think about a situation in hindsight and change your behaviour after someone has pointed it out to you than have to deal with that hindsight after an accident.

We all have bad days, make a coffee and chill for a bit

bloodywhitecat · 14/09/2021 11:30

I think you were being unwise, it is incredibly easy for a toddler to slip away from an adult even an adult who thinks they have covered all the angles. A car park is not the place to play.

CovidCorvid · 14/09/2021 11:31

I get what you're saying that it sounds safe but twice I've had a car going past drive into a parked car outside my house and shunt the parked car back some distance. If a toddler had been behind the parked car they'd be dead.

It's also safer for a toddler to have a very clear message that roads are not somewhere we play. Because she can't distinguish between what (in your opinion) is a safer bit of road and what (in your opinion) is safer because you're holding her hood.

Original poster
Sophie1029734 · 14/09/2021 11:31

I do agree with how my reaction was wrong, i think the pent up stress came out. Definitely haveing a bad day and that interacrion didnt help. And no there were no other puddles, theres a small dip between the path and road. I do get it from the outside looking in, it looks and sounds bad but from my point I really was hyper aware and would never of done it if we were close by to the traffic.. but I do see where the concerns are. I wont do it again.

OP posts: