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Original poster

Man told me I was putting my child in danger? I'm annoyed.

182 replies

Sophie1029734 · 14/09/2021 10:58

This is a rant more than anything but would be nice to hear from.others, what's your perspective?

I've gone to take my 19m old to her first play group but its shut for some reason, maybe ive gone to the wrong place but I'm already dissappintmented and have stuff on my mind. Instead I take her for a walk, Im about to have my first period since before pregnancy and my stomachs cramping like mad. I'm already in a bad mood.
I let her splash on a puddle just off the path, cars park there.. she was so close to the bath her leg was touching it. The roads further away so I didnt see an issue. It wasnt a main road, more like the average town road with lots of horses on either side. I had hold of her hood so if she tried anything she wouldnt be able to move away. We were also inbetween cars parked from the houses behind me. This man was repeating the same sentence "it's not wise you let her do that on the road with a truck going past" i pretended to not hear him as i tried moving away. I had to go past him. I turned around and said "how? Shes not on the road with traffic, shes on the area people use for parking?" He just made a face as if I was dumb, going no, it's not wise to do that (he said other stuff but I cant remeber, i was too annoyed). I say dont tell me how to parent and act as if you know better, she was safe. He said I know it's your child but you shoulsnt do that and whatever else I cant remeber. I said i know better (I said this in a response to something he said, cant remeber what but he laughed to himself which pissed me off) I walk off and raise me voice, told him to mind his own business and fuk off 😬 maybe not the best.
Was I in the wrong??

OP posts:
Flowers500 · 14/09/2021 12:06

You should apologise and admit that he was right

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/09/2021 12:07

I said i know better
You don't, clearly.
You let your child in the bloody road with a truck going past and you told someone pointing out the idiocy of this that you know better and to fuck off.
You are actually beyond ridiculous.

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/09/2021 12:08

And yes, you should definitely apologise.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting
Branleuse · 14/09/2021 12:09

it was none of his business. He should have dropped it after the first reply. Do you look young?

Original poster
Sophie1029734 · 14/09/2021 12:11

@OceanTulip22

Common as bloody muck, swearing in the street at people in front of your child!

If your child wants to play, take them to a bloody play area to jump in puddles. A road is NOT a play area.

The dig was unnecessary, I highly doubt your perfect either.
OP posts:
LidlMiddleLover · 14/09/2021 12:11

He was worried for a child so right to speak up.
You were letting her do something unsafe because you were hormonal You were a very bad role model by swearing at him.

MythicalBiologicalFennel · 14/09/2021 12:11

Very odd for the man to approach your nd keep repeating himself. This would have riled me up regardless of the situation.

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/09/2021 12:12

it was none of his business
Oh, don't do that. People should call out stupid behaviour involving children. Of course they should.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/09/2021 12:13

I agree with him, not you.

Parked cars are not safe barriers for one thing, but it's the habit-forming issue that's more my concern.
You're allowing her to play in the road.
How does her little brain process the difference between "it's ok to play in THIS gutter because it's between parked cars so I won't get hit by moving cars" and "I can play in the gutter because my mummy lets me"? She can't.
She'll just get the "I can play in the gutter because my mummy lets me".

toughdaay · 14/09/2021 12:13

@Branleuse

it was none of his business. He should have dropped it after the first reply. Do you look young?
A child potential in danger is EVERYONES business.
ittakes2 · 14/09/2021 12:14

I volunteered to do the road safety course at school to teach the children. I was so shocked at things that never crossed my mind - like how small children can come out from between two cars and because of their height drivers don't have any warning as they can't see their heads like an adult's head can be seen. Plus with trucks I assumed they could see everything - they can't they have a blind spot and a lovely truck company came to the school and let the children sit in the cab so they could see there were blind spots. The class stood infront of the truck and one at time the children came up into the cab - they couldn't see the whole class of 30 children just infront of the truck.
Next time your daughter sees a puddle on a road she will remember the fun she had today/yesterday and it might not be a safe road - sorry but you do need to teach her not to play on roads.

RedMarauder · 14/09/2021 12:15

@Highfivemum

Your teaching ur child that it is ok to come off the pavement to splash in a puddle. So next time She may just walk into the road to do this as she thinks it is ok. I think u are wrong. Teach her the pavement is for walking and roads are not. The man should if minded his own business but who knows if he has been a witness or worse still be personal involved with a child being hurt on the road. You shouldn’t have swore at him.
This.

You are also teaching your child to swear and to be rude a people.

The "nosy" people are the same people who will help your child find you if she runs away from you or gets lost in a shop/elsewhere.

Carboncheque · 14/09/2021 12:18

You were in pain and having a shitty day. Give yourself a break.

Apart from roads being dangerous generally, lorries always worry me when I’m walking on the pavement because a moment’s inattention from the driver and they can send cars (moving or parked) scattering like snooker balls. Even a lorry slowly doing a 90 degree turn can clip something. The drivers have blind spots and can’t see pedestrians.

Mintjulia · 14/09/2021 12:19

Letting a child play between parked cars is really dangerous. Sorry but I agree with him. If you'd cramped and let go or if a car had swerved for some reason, anything could have happened.
And you told him to f**k off in front of your daughter! Charming. I know you were having a bad day but I wouldn't want you anywhere near my child.

Hellocatshome · 14/09/2021 12:19

I'll always be with her so I would never allow her to dart on to the road to be ran over etc

The thing is OP you won't. She is small now and you can probably never imagine a time when she will be walking down the road out of arms reach but she will and sooner than you think.

MissMaple82 · 14/09/2021 12:19

I think its insane you actually think its OK to let a toddler play in-between cars, so a road or at the very least near a road!!!

ancientgran · 14/09/2021 12:20

@Sophie1029734

Personally I dont see the issue only because I knew she wouldnt run out, we weren't actually on the main road. I'll always be with her so I would never allow her to dart on to the road to be ran over etc I trusted my judgement and there wasnt a car pulling in, if there was it would've been really noticeable. I wasnt pulling the hood up and hurting her, I let it hang low but did incase. I usually have a harness but didnt today as she was supposed to be going the playgroup which is 3 mins away so I held her hand instead. I guess the thought of it does sound bad but from my perspective there was no issue because I was aware, watching. And yh some idiot could come and somehow crash there, but it's pretty hard for that to happen from where we were. The chances were slim to none. I do see where the worries lie and how it can be bad. It's not nice being told your putting your kid in danger, maybe Its stubbornness on my end too.
Well it isn't nice to tell someone to fuck off when you know he is thinking of your child's safety. Maybe a smile and "Don't worry I'm holding onto her." Would be a reasonable reply.
MissMaple82 · 14/09/2021 12:22

And telling a concerned stranger to fuck off infront of your child makes me further question your capabilities to parent !

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/09/2021 12:22

You were in pain and having a shitty day.
Not sure how this makes op any less in the wrong.

Either for insisting it's safe for her dd to play on the side of the road or for swearing (in front of her toddler) at someone who told her it wasn't.
Op actually asked was she in the wrong, as if she seriously believes she mightn't be.

ancientgran · 14/09/2021 12:24

OP if he lives locally are you likely to see him? Maybe next time you see him say you were having a bad day and you appreciate his concern.

AnUnlikelyCombination · 14/09/2021 12:24

@Sophie1029734

I regret raising my voice and telling him to fuk off, in the moment It just came out and didnt think before i spoke. Ive got in, sat down and thought about it all. I feel bad about it, I know where the guy lives so was thinking about writing a note saying sorry. He wasnt intent on being rude and starting an argument, he was expressing his concerns which now looking back were justifiable. I still dont think my little one was in danger, I trusted my judgement and I still do.. but I see why it wasnt the best choice and why he had his concerns. I feel bad about it tbh
Good for you, OP. You’ve listened, reflected and are going to do the right thing. Not that many people on MN are as gracious as you have been about being told they’re wrong.
ancientgran · 14/09/2021 12:26

I saw a little one of about 3 in the window of a shop messing with bulbs and electric wire. I went into the shop and said what I'd seen and it was probably unsafe and I got told to fuck off. I'm still glad I did it, I'd feel terrible if the child got electrocuted and I could have prevented it.

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/09/2021 12:27

@ancientgran

I saw a little one of about 3 in the window of a shop messing with bulbs and electric wire. I went into the shop and said what I'd seen and it was probably unsafe and I got told to fuck off. I'm still glad I did it, I'd feel terrible if the child got electrocuted and I could have prevented it.
Good on you for caring. Sorry you got such a savage response.
jwilf · 14/09/2021 12:27

Sorry but I read your post and laughed out loud picturing your child standing in a road next to a bath with lots of horses on either side Grin

Anyway, obviously you're in the wrong. This poor bloke is probably on a forum right now writing about how he tried to tell a woman not to let her child play in the road and she told him to fuck off, and how awful parents are these days.

GroggyLegs · 14/09/2021 12:27

She probably shouldn't have been on the parking spaces.
He should mind his own bloody business if she wasn't in immediate danger.
You shouldn't have said fuck off.

Honestly, it was a momentary lapse, coupled with a mildly difficult morning & an interfering bloke who foisted his opinion on you.

Try to forget it & never post about this type of thing on MN where you'll get your arse handed to you.