Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Man told me I was putting my child in danger? I'm annoyed.

182 replies

Sophie1029734 · 14/09/2021 10:58

This is a rant more than anything but would be nice to hear from.others, what's your perspective?

I've gone to take my 19m old to her first play group but its shut for some reason, maybe ive gone to the wrong place but I'm already dissappintmented and have stuff on my mind. Instead I take her for a walk, Im about to have my first period since before pregnancy and my stomachs cramping like mad. I'm already in a bad mood.
I let her splash on a puddle just off the path, cars park there.. she was so close to the bath her leg was touching it. The roads further away so I didnt see an issue. It wasnt a main road, more like the average town road with lots of horses on either side. I had hold of her hood so if she tried anything she wouldnt be able to move away. We were also inbetween cars parked from the houses behind me. This man was repeating the same sentence "it's not wise you let her do that on the road with a truck going past" i pretended to not hear him as i tried moving away. I had to go past him. I turned around and said "how? Shes not on the road with traffic, shes on the area people use for parking?" He just made a face as if I was dumb, going no, it's not wise to do that (he said other stuff but I cant remeber, i was too annoyed). I say dont tell me how to parent and act as if you know better, she was safe. He said I know it's your child but you shoulsnt do that and whatever else I cant remeber. I said i know better (I said this in a response to something he said, cant remeber what but he laughed to himself which pissed me off) I walk off and raise me voice, told him to mind his own business and fuk off 😬 maybe not the best.
Was I in the wrong??

OP posts:
Sophie1029734 · 14/09/2021 12:33

@MissMaple82

I think its insane you actually think its OK to let a toddler play in-between cars, so a road or at the very least near a road!!!
your acting as i let her sit in the middle of cars playing dolls on the daily. I let her do 6 or 7 quick splashes and went to go home, she want in any danger. She wasnt even half of my foot away from the path. I relise the Potentional dangers and why I wont do it again, but please dont act as if roads are her personal playground.
OP posts:
DumplingsAndStew · 14/09/2021 12:35

From what you've said, it sounds like you were spoiling for a fight. You pretended not to hear him, then decided to challenge him. You were walking away, then turned back and shouted at him to fuck off.

Was this because you know that you were in the wrong, or because you were in a shit mood?

Sophie1029734 · 14/09/2021 12:36

@DumplingsAndStew

From what you've said, it sounds like you were spoiling for a fight. You pretended not to hear him, then decided to challenge him. You were walking away, then turned back and shouted at him to fuck off.

Was this because you know that you were in the wrong, or because you were in a shit mood?

No Its because he kept repeating himself 👍
OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

zoemum2006 · 14/09/2021 12:36

What's all this 'you're wrong to tell hime to fuck off"???

MORE women should tell men who are annoying them to fuck off.

I have read so many articles about women who are intimidated and harassed by men. They feel its wrong speaking up and are worried what people will think so keep quite and the guy gets off on making them uncomfortable.

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/09/2021 12:37

I relise the Potentional dangers and why I wont do it again, but please dont act as if roads are her personal playground.
Well, you did tell that guy to fuck off and then start a thread asking "Was I in the wrong?" to be fair 🤷🏻‍♀️
It's good that you've realised that you really were.

TrueGrit54 · 14/09/2021 12:38

I think you were in the wrong. You are just having a bad day. Hope your period isn’t too painful. Try to forget about it.

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/09/2021 12:38

@zoemum2006

What's all this 'you're wrong to tell hime to fuck off"???

MORE women should tell men who are annoying them to fuck off.

I have read so many articles about women who are intimidated and harassed by men. They feel its wrong speaking up and are worried what people will think so keep quite and the guy gets off on making them uncomfortable.

Mad post.
discombobulatedonion · 14/09/2021 12:38

@zoemum2006

What's all this 'you're wrong to tell hime to fuck off"???

MORE women should tell men who are annoying them to fuck off.

I have read so many articles about women who are intimidated and harassed by men. They feel its wrong speaking up and are worried what people will think so keep quite and the guy gets off on making them uncomfortable.

@zoemum2006

He was raising his concerns regarding her child playing in the road. I would do the same and would be hugely offended if someone told me to "fuck off" for trying to make sure their child was safe.

MrsMiddleMother · 14/09/2021 12:39

I think yanbu. Some children only have car parks to play. Jumping in puddles for 5 minutes with you by her side Is fine, of course you would move her if a car came. I would have told him to fuck off too

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/09/2021 12:41

@MrsMiddleMother

I think yanbu. Some children only have car parks to play. Jumping in puddles for 5 minutes with you by her side Is fine, of course you would move her if a car came. I would have told him to fuck off too
Another charmer. They're out in force today, I hope I don't bump into any of you in the flesh!
Beautiful3 · 14/09/2021 12:41

You're teaching her it's okay to play in-between cars, on a road?! A passerby felt the need to advice you of its danger and you swore at him? He was absolutely right, you shouldn't be letting her do that. One day when you're not holding her hand, she might run off to splash a puddle in the road, because she's done it before.

BrainPotter · 14/09/2021 12:42

Yes you were in the wrong. Don’t play in a car park and learn to control your anger.

Sophie1029734 · 14/09/2021 12:43

@MrsMiddleMother
Your here acting like you know best when you saying stuff like that, you ain't so perfect either 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Tsubasa1 · 14/09/2021 12:43

@CyclingIsNotOuting exactly what I was thinking!

Peppapigforlife · 14/09/2021 12:46

She probably wasn't in danger in that moment, but it's about teaching her not to go in the road or near cars in general. Otherwise she is going to be confused when you start reprimanding her for running in the road as she gets older and it will be harder to instill that boundary in her.

discombobulatedonion · 14/09/2021 12:46

@Sophie1029734

You have a sincere attitude problem. Something is making me think you're like this all the time, not just when you're in pain.

GrandmaSteglitszch · 14/09/2021 12:46

Ive got in, sat down and thought about it all. I feel bad about it, I know where the guy lives so was thinking about writing a note saying sorry. He wasnt intent on being rude and starting an argument, he was expressing his concerns which now looking back were justifiable. I still dont think my little one was in danger, I trusted my judgement and I still do.. but I see why it wasnt the best choice and why he had his concerns. I feel bad about it tbh.

I'm glad you've seen that, OP.
Take on board all the concerns in this thread, even if some are expressed a bit rudely.
People, especially mums, get upset about the idea of a child being in danger.

SchoolRunEscapee · 14/09/2021 12:47

The OP has admitted she made a couple of mistakes, so why continue to tell her that. Better to congratulate someone for admitting they were wrong than force them into defending themselves when there is an unhelpful pile on.

GeorgiaMcGraw · 14/09/2021 12:49

@Sophie1029734

I regret raising my voice and telling him to fuk off, in the moment It just came out and didnt think before i spoke. Ive got in, sat down and thought about it all. I feel bad about it, I know where the guy lives so was thinking about writing a note saying sorry. He wasnt intent on being rude and starting an argument, he was expressing his concerns which now looking back were justifiable. I still dont think my little one was in danger, I trusted my judgement and I still do.. but I see why it wasnt the best choice and why he had his concerns. I feel bad about it tbh
@sophie1029734 I think this post is good and your idea of a nice note is lovely. It's good to clear the air, especially if you live near each other. As other pp's have said, it sounds like he had a point, you were having a bad day, he was a bit annoying about it, and you know you snapped at him too rudely. Write the note for him and put the incident from your mind, you know better what to do in future. Hope the playgroup works out and you have a better rest of the week 👍
MrsScrubbithatescleaning · 14/09/2021 12:50

OP, you seem very defensive. I’m a bit shocked that told a stranger who was trying to help keep your daughter safe, to ‘Fuck off’ in front of your toddler because you’re in a bad mood.

Would you swear at your child if she upsets you when you’re in a bad mood too?

I know some people swear and react aggressively as a default setting but is this your normal or are you struggling?

tickledtiger · 14/09/2021 12:55

Just forget about it and move on op. You were having a frustrating morning, you were in pain and you snapped. The guy was right (it’s a bit painful seeing a child in the road even at the very edge) but he couldn’t say anything without being patronising really.
In the end everyone’s ok and nothing really bad happened.

Sittingonabench · 14/09/2021 12:58

I think you were in the wrong with regards to your response but you have obviously calmed and viewed it from his perspective and acknowledged where his concerns were coming from which is hard to do and shows a good deal of trying to be reasonable and fair so hats off to you.
I think a note explaining you weren’t in a good place at that moment in time and you took out your frustration on him which you absolutely apologise for and acknowledging that you understand his comment was coming from a good place would be a great thing to do.
I think if I were him (not that I would likely be) I would be smarting a bit and a note like that would go a long way in making me calm down and see it from your side too.

Nomorepies · 14/09/2021 13:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

OrangutanLibrarian · 14/09/2021 13:01

*What's all this 'you're wrong to tell hime to fuck off"???

MORE women should tell men who are annoying them to fuck off.

I have read so many articles about women who are intimidated and harassed by men. They feel its wrong speaking up and are worried what people will think so keep quite and the guy gets off on making them uncomfortable*

A child’s safety comes before an adult woman’s hurt feelings/ego/pride.
Shocking to hear, but sometimes women AREN’T perfect and get things wrong. Sometimes you need other people to point out something you’re doing wrong.

Lougle · 14/09/2021 13:03

I don't think it's ideal for the reasons stated above, but also because road-side puddles are often polluted with petrol/oil/diesel.