Man told me I was putting my child in danger? I'm annoyed.

[Sophie1029734]

This is a rant more than anything but would be nice to hear from.others, what's your perspective?

I've gone to take my 19m old to her first play group but its shut for some reason, maybe ive gone to the wrong place but I'm already dissappintmented and have stuff on my mind. Instead I take her for a walk, Im about to have my first period since before pregnancy and my stomachs cramping like mad. I'm already in a bad mood.
I let her splash on a puddle just off the path, cars park there.. she was so close to the bath her leg was touching it. The roads further away so I didnt see an issue. It wasnt a main road, more like the average town road with lots of horses on either side. I had hold of her hood so if she tried anything she wouldnt be able to move away. We were also inbetween cars parked from the houses behind me. This man was repeating the same sentence "it's not wise you let her do that on the road with a truck going past" i pretended to not hear him as i tried moving away. I had to go past him. I turned around and said "how? Shes not on the road with traffic, shes on the area people use for parking?" He just made a face as if I was dumb, going no, it's not wise to do that (he said other stuff but I cant remeber, i was too annoyed). I say dont tell me how to parent and act as if you know better, she was safe. He said I know it's your child but you shoulsnt do that and whatever else I cant remeber. I said i know better (I said this in a response to something he said, cant remeber what but he laughed to himself which pissed me off) I walk off and raise me voice, told him to mind his own business and fuk off 😬 maybe not the best.
Was I in the wrong??

Trouble is she may well have been safe today. But what about tomorrow? If she runs into the road to jump in a puddle? You only have to take your eyes off them for a second and tragedy can strike.
Big breath and think about what could happen and not about what happened today.

I don’t agree. I think someone constantly telling you how to parent is disrespectful. He had concerns, he aired them. She heard them but he kept on and on and then he started laughing at her. He wasn’t being a nice concerned gentleman, he was being rude and disrespectful.

That’s how I feel and accusing me of having a. Chip or speaking down to me and attempting to bad mouth my mother won’t make me change that. Patronising someone IS rude.

@Bluntness100

Well basically he was right, and you didn’t need to abuse him. I’d also think about what you’re teaching your daughter in terms of both road safety and how to speak to people. Your reaction was unpleasant.

this your daughter can hear your 'fuck off' is that they way you really want her to speak to people?

It was just one of those child and parent scenarios that can happen anywhere when walking along wherever. You can't do much about a random man, who says His kind of random remarks, so you should really say nothing, and carry on dealing with your situation quietly.

You were in the wrong and verbally abusive too.

When I was a child, the mantra was 'Always stay on the pavement'. My mum repeated it endlessly. Nice and simple & it kept us safe. The rest of your encounter doesn't really matter, only your child's safety, and I can't help thinking good for this man who braved your wrath to voice his concern.

@DearFatties

I don’t agree. I think someone constantly telling you how to parent is disrespectful. He had concerns, he aired them. She heard them but he kept on and on and then he started laughing at her. He wasn’t being a nice concerned gentleman, he was being rude and disrespectful.

That’s how I feel and accusing me of having a. Chip or speaking down to me and attempting to bad mouth my mother won’t make me change that. Patronising someone IS rude.

From the op: "Don't tell me how to parent", "She's safe" (clearly nonsense), and "I know better". And that's all she admits to. Yet people are still insisting he disrespectfully and rudely went "on and on". Op has not covered herself in glory here, yet she has cheerleaders telling her "I'd have told him to fuck off too". Amazing.

It might be rude how he said it but you actually let your child play on the road? Yes that's not wise. Go some without cars eg a playground next time

We were also inbetween cars parked

You are giving your DD some very poor signals here.
It's not ok to play in the road & she is too young to distinguish a 'safe bit of road' situation from playing on a busy dual carriageway.

You should also NEVER muck about between parked cars. Do you know how much damage they can do if they roll - or if an un-noticed driver also failed to notice you, & started moving off?

The guy may have had a nobbish attitude (& maybe not - you certainly gave him as good as you got), but he was right. Stop teaching your DD that roads are safe places to play on. She needs to know that all roads, everywhere, are places that might be dangerous so she holds mummy's hand & doesn't play til she is safely away from the road.

@DearFatties

I don’t agree. I think someone constantly telling you how to parent is disrespectful. He had concerns, he aired them. She heard them but he kept on and on and then he started laughing at her. He wasn’t being a nice concerned gentleman, he was being rude and disrespectful.

That’s how I feel and accusing me of having a. Chip or speaking down to me and attempting to bad mouth my mother won’t make me change that. Patronising someone IS rude.

Well it was a one time incident, so doesn’t meet threshold for “constantly telling you how to parent” as many MILs do.

He was nice until she started to be rude to him. First she pretended not to hear him so he had to repeat himself. Then she said don’t tell me how to parent and think you know better. They went back and forth with her saying I know better. OP says clearly “he laughed to himself” so, no he was NOT laughing at her. OP then walked off telling him to mind his own business and fuck off.

@GreyhoundG1rl people are saying he went on and on because that’s what the OP said. Maybe they both behaved badly, but he sounds rude to me and someone repeatedly going on and on at you, patronising you, why do we have to rise above that and float off on a cloud of serenity? She tried to ignore him, he kept on at her. She told him to mind his own, he kept on at her. She cracked and told him to fuck off, it happens. Yet people on here are treating her like she hit the bloke.

No one in this encounter covered themselves in glory, but OP says she regrets it now and yet alll these posters are still going on and on about her choice of words. She told him to fuck off because of his behaviour which doesn’t sound caring at all to me. Caring would be saying it once, not laughing at her.

@PlanDeRaccordement I stand by it, he didn’t need to keep going on at her. She tried to ignore his unwarranted advice, then she acknowledged it. He should have dropped it then and not carried on going on about it as he did.

I think he was rude, she was rude. The whole thing should just be dropped now. OP knows not to take her child into that environment again.

He sounds like a bit of a twat especially to go on the way he did. For that reason I don’t think it was the worst thing to tell him to fuck off.

She tried to ignore him, he kept on at her. She told him to mind his own, he kept on at her
I'm not getting that at all 🤷🏻‍♀️ Really not getting it.

@GreyhoundG1rl I mean, the OP said that’s why she told him to fuck off in an update but okay.

[quote DearFatties]@PlanDeRaccordement I stand by it, he didn’t need to keep going on at her. She tried to ignore his unwarranted advice, then she acknowledged it. He should have dropped it then and not carried on going on about it as he did.

I think he was rude, she was rude. The whole thing should just be dropped now. OP knows not to take her child into that environment again.[/quote]
I don’t think he did keep going on at her. I think you are adding that in as it’s not in the OP.
Also, his advice was clearly warranted as the child was in danger.

@PlanDeRaccordement the OP said she told him to fuck off because he kept repeating himself.

After she'd already walked off... But hey, who cares. As long as I don't bump into either of you

@GreyhoundG1rl Likewise 🤞

So basically someone pulled you up about how you were putting your child at risk, so you spat your dummy out and swore at him. I think you knew what you were doing was not good, but you don't like admitting you are wrong so got defensive.

Would he have made the same comments to a big burly bloke letting his DD do the same thing? If not then yeah, he was in the wrong and should have kept his nose out. Children are a parents responsibility and you had hold of her, weren't neglecting her or hurting her.

Yes you were in the wrong and no you won't learn from it as you see no wrong in letting your child play on the road or for swearing at people. I hope your child has other better role models.

You know nothing about this man..I have a friend who lost a granddaughter when she was run over on a quiet street by a car reversing out of a drive.
Parents probably hate her as she's forever warning them to look out and that cars can be hard to see when they have kids running ahead.
But I really can't blame her

You Never know a child won’t run out and she sounds like she was in an area where drivers might not see her .

Is there something in the air at the moment? First the park and loos thread and now this one.