Any1 notice others are uncomfortable with breastfeeding toddlers?

[Sophie1029734]

I have an 18m old who breastfeeds. She needs it to sleep, may wake up thirsty for some milk, feeds multiple times in the day. It's her desicion to stop, whenever it happens I'll be happy she got to choose when.

I've become so disentised from boobs and sometimes find myself saying to family, think she wants some boob. I dont think about what I'm saying, im just so used to it. But for some reason it makes people so uncomfortable now that she is a toddler and not a baby.
For example, we were at her nans and she was walking around and said mamma boo boo. Everyone jumped in to say, no she said baby and wanted her doll. When the breastfeeding convo comes up, everyone's chatting about when they stopped etc I'll just make convo and say yh.. ill let her decide when to stop and the room goes silent. If LO mentions the word boob the room goes silent. A topic they didnt mind has become something that makes them uncomfortable and sometimes disgusted, I see it all over their face. My family couldnt care less and actively tell me it's an amazing thing, yet none of them were able to breastfeed and those so uncomfortable with the topic did or have watched close family do it.
Anyone else notice others become uncomfortable with you breastfeeding because your child is a toddler?

I know it's good for them but because we don't live in a third world country, it's also unnecessary. By 18 months children need solids and no longer need milk...they can have cow's milk and gain all the nutrients they need from that.

Loving relationships aren't dependent on breast feeding.

Yes. So unnecessary.

YABU for saying "she wants some boob" sorry op!

18m isn't that old! And cow's milk is not as good for little ones as human milk. I don't see anything wrong with it but obviously some people are very judgey!

Something doesn't have to be 'necessary' to be a good/positive thing to do. It's entirely fine and normal to breastfeed a toddler. A lot of people just aren't used to seeing it here but that's not your problem. It's also fine for someone to feel awkward about it as long as they recognise it's their issue and don't make the person feeding feel awkward.

If it's working for you and you are happy to continue, ignore them. The health benefits at that age are difficult to tease out from many other factors, but it's not like it's doing her any harm so I don't know why others get their knickers in a twist so much about it.

I did teach my DC to ask for "milk" not "booby" though, because I dislike the word myself and know it's one of the things others get particularly judgy about. But again, if you don't mind it, crack on!

I breastfed for about 9 months but when they start becoming proper little people I do feel quite oogy about it (even my own!). So that's as far as I could go and I had a good breastfeeding journey!

Sorry but it makes me feel weird

There’s a very anti bf culture in the U.K. Breasts are for feeding babies but most people would ratter think of them as toys for men. It’s sad. The WHO recommends children are bf for 2 years and if more were across the world lives would be saved as a result.

Feed your child as long as you both want to. Spend less time with people who don’t support your choices.

From the sounds of it you family/friends are more uncomfortable with the use of the word Boob being used instead of the word milk/feed.

I also think people are very accepting and warm to breastfeeding. But I notice that once the child starts to walk and talk, has developed their own little personality etc, it becomes a bit taboo.

Solidarity OP, I'm also breastfeeding an 18 month old. Haven't noticed any disgust but then I'm fairly antisocial so don't see too many people

Also to PP, breastfeeding isn't just about nutrients, it's comfort, connection, security, regulation. Of course those things can be supplied other ways, but that doesn't invalidate breastfeeding as an option.

Sorry but it makes me feel weird

That’s okay. Recognise it’s your issue and not up to a woman who’s decided to feed longer than you did to reframe from doing what’s best for her and her child because you’ve got odd ideas about breasts.

I breastfed my three. I am not anti breast, but I think it is uncomfortable for others when a child who is clearly not a baby anymore does this in front of others and uses language learned to demand being fed.

Get on with it but don't complain when you make people uncomfortable .

Yes people are weird about it.
I'm still breastfeeding my 22 month old at least twice a day. It's more comfort for us both than anything.

Why on earth is it uncomfortable to witness a child asking to be fed? I truly, truly don't understand.

@Anordinarymum

I breastfed my three. I am not anti breast, but I think it is uncomfortable for others when a child who is clearly not a baby anymore does this in front of others and uses language learned to demand being fed.

Get on with it but don't complain when you make people uncomfortable .

My DD doesn't really talk yet so her way of asking for boob is pulling at my top. I'm not sure what's worse.

We are still feeding at 2 but no weird remarks in my family, no-one bats an eye.
I rarely feed in public these days as no need (usually just 1-2 feeds now) so don't know if anyone would look/comment.
We plan to self wean so it'll go on a while yet. In no rush to stop in a pandemic, breastmilk is good for so much beyond nutrition.

@SpikeDearheart

Why on earth is it uncomfortable to witness a child asking to be fed? I truly, truly don't understand.

Because after a certain age they don't need to be fed breast milk, they can get all the nutrients they need from a balanced diet.

People are weird about toddlers breastfeeding. My mum gave me a very long rant about a women she heard on radio 4 who was breastfeeding an older child and how icky it was - seemingly forgetting that I still breastfeed her toddler grandchild and don’t plan to stop yet, I’m letting DC lead on weaning (which is happening, slowly).

Like a PP I wonder if shifting the language from boob to milk might help a bit with your family? But overall don’t worry about it too much - it’s nobody’s business but yours and your child’s.

But even if you think it's not 'necessary', why does it bother you? I genuinely don't understand it either. It baffles me, and I find it very depressing that there are so many weird attitudes about breasts and breastfeeding on a forum that is mainly frequented by women

Breastfeeding to natural term (or to any point up to that) is totally normal and has many benefits, nutritional and otherwise. It is so odd that society suggests drinking breastmilk from a willing and able mother be replaced with drinking breastmilk from another species.

I breastfed all my children into toddlerhood and it has been an important part of our relationships. My 2.5 yr old calls it "having a feed" so I doubt anyone we know irl really realises it but there are others out there feeding toddlers.

If you feel uncomfortable with feeding on demand during the day (and it's up to you, try to ignore societal judgement as much as possible) then La Leche League have some good resources about introducing breastfeeding manners.

Breasts are primarily for feeding babies. Children will naturally self wean when they are ready, given the chance they will breastfeed for several years.

And truthfully, cows milk is for baby cows. It's contains naturally produced growth hormones, to help the calves grow. In evolutionary terms, it's not a natural human food. A large percentage of humans worldwide are intolerant to the lactose or protein in it to some extent. Logically, it's far weirder to drink cow milk than to breastfeed a toddler, but that's seen as normal.

Do what makes you & your child happy & healthy. Bollocks to anyone who criticises you. If they can't support your choices, don't make room for them in your life.

fairyhouse so do you feel uncomfortable about children eating milk from a cow’s udder, because they can get nutrition from elsewhere? Do you feel uncomfortable when people eat broccoli because you can get vitamins from other vegetables. Utterly non-sensical statement.

I'm still breastfeeding my nearly four year old (along with my 3 month old now too). I haven't breastfed my older child in public for over a year, but only because he only usually has a feed at night now, or if he's really unwell and off his food.

All my family and in-laws are very pro breastfeeding (my mum has bf 5 babies and used to be a breastfeeding support worker) but I did start to notice negative comments around my son's third birthday. I don't think they are necessarily negative about it on purpose, it was mainly just asking if I'm ever going to stop, or laughing about my son going off to uni still breastfeeding. I haven't mentioned it to anyone since last year, so I think everyone just assumes I've stopped feeding my older son now, although he's been asking for it a lot more since his baby brother has arrived as I'm obviously feeding the wee one really frequently, so there have been a few raised eyebrows but I really don't care. I'm doing what works best for my children and I'll continue to breastfeed them both as long as I can until they want to stop. The benefits of breastfeeding don't just stop because the child is older and eating a balanced diet.

Have to assume the “not necessary” gang only drink water and would never indulge in a tea or coffee or juice. They’re unnecessary after all. All we adult humans need to drink is water.