Any1 notice others are uncomfortable with breastfeeding toddlers?

[Sophie1029734]

I have an 18m old who breastfeeds. She needs it to sleep, may wake up thirsty for some milk, feeds multiple times in the day. It's her desicion to stop, whenever it happens I'll be happy she got to choose when.

I've become so disentised from boobs and sometimes find myself saying to family, think she wants some boob. I dont think about what I'm saying, im just so used to it. But for some reason it makes people so uncomfortable now that she is a toddler and not a baby.
For example, we were at her nans and she was walking around and said mamma boo boo. Everyone jumped in to say, no she said baby and wanted her doll. When the breastfeeding convo comes up, everyone's chatting about when they stopped etc I'll just make convo and say yh.. ill let her decide when to stop and the room goes silent. If LO mentions the word boob the room goes silent. A topic they didnt mind has become something that makes them uncomfortable and sometimes disgusted, I see it all over their face. My family couldnt care less and actively tell me it's an amazing thing, yet none of them were able to breastfeed and those so uncomfortable with the topic did or have watched close family do it.
Anyone else notice others become uncomfortable with you breastfeeding because your child is a toddler?

Hang on, hold the phone! A mumsnet breastfeeding argument ending on good terms?!

It's literally nobody's business except yours and your child's.

It doesn't matter if it's "necessary" or not because there are alternatives etc. It's up to the pair of you.

You crack on, everyone else will find something else to eye-roll about soon enough.

@Somethingsnappy

Hang on, hold the phone! A mumsnet breastfeeding argument ending on good terms?!

We literally achieved the impossible Snappy cheers

I am going to resist the urge to correct @dopeyduck and move on now I think. My work here is done. swishes a cloak and vanishes

@Realyorkshiretea want a link to WHO or do you think you know better than them?

@dopeyduck there is no study out there that proves bfing has more than a negligible benefit in terms overall health. And there is certainly nothing which bf protects against entirely. If you can find anything that says otherwise I will be very happy to change my mind.

@Realyorkshiretea

Universal breastfeeding of infants would save 820,000 infant lives each year - www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/infant-and-young-child-feeding

This one is world health organisation

Reduction in cancer risk for various cancers between 4-30% - www.mdanderson.org/publications/focused-on-health/breastfeeding-breast-cancer-prevention.h19-1589046.html

Peer reviewed academic medical journal

Breastmilk supports children’s immune system until age 5 - kellymom.com/pregnancy/bf-prep/how_breastmilk_protects_newborns/

Breastfeeding to natural term children’s ability to absorb nutrients from food as it promotes gut microbiota - www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/news-and-research/baby-friendly-research/infant-health-research/epigenetics-microbiome-research/amp/

This one is Unicef

Here’s an NHS list of the benefits of breastfeeding including reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, obesity, diabetes, D&V, SIDS and infections that require hospital treatment - www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding/benefits/

Shall i keep going?

Oh and sorry it took me so long to reply, I was providing my almost 2 year old with a nutritious meal AND then breastfeeding him.

Horrifying for you I’m sure.

@dopeyduck

The 820000 lives thing is related to malnourishment and starvation? Which isn’t a problem in western society. In part because of (correctly prepared) formula.

The rest of the benefits are indeed there but as I’ve said before, negligible. For instance, ‘breastfeeding for a year reduces your risk of breast cancer by 4%’ sounds impressive, but when you consider a person’s chance of getting breast cancer in a lifetime is 15%, it reduces that risk by 4% of that 15% - so to something like 14.4%. Which is better than nothing, obviously, but nothing to panic ff mums over and yes, fairly negligible.

@dopeyduck if he’s 2 he should be in bed by now

Lol you’ve got nothing else to say?

He went to sleep at 19:15 - you weren’t the top of my list for post bedtime chores.

Just be quiet about things you’re obviously very misinformed about.

Misinformed? You’re the one misinterpreting statistics if you can’t refute what I say, best to just not reply.

Did you even read the articles? Obviously not - yes breast cancer by 4% but ovarian cancer by 34% when breastfeeding for longer than 12 months - hardly negligible. Don’t ask me to find studies about benefits of breastfeeding if you don’t even want to read past the titles.

Honestly. You just want to be horrible, bore off.

Malnourishment does affect children in the UK. 5% on average of children in the UK under 5 fail to thrive and require hospital intervention. Many more that are managed by GPs / HV etc. You’re just clearly not that smart.

Ok let’s do the math. The lifetime risk of ovarian cancer is 1.5% according to cancer.org

1.5% reduces by 30% reduces it to something like 1%. So half a percent difference.

By comparison, not smoking will reduce the risk by three times.

I’m not against the stats being wheeled out but they should be quantified correctly.

You’re just accusing me of being ‘horrible’ because you don’t like the facts!

@dopeyduck

Malnourishment does affect children in the UK. 5% on average of children in the UK under 5 fail to thrive and require hospital intervention. Many more that are managed by GPs / HV etc. You’re just clearly not that smart.

How many of them are breastfed?

You're all wrong on your stats. Not sure you've understood how statistics are produced. You definitely haven't understood the analysis that's been used in that journal.

Anyway, you do you, if you don't want to breastfeed then literally nobody cares.

Just stop judging other people and getting involved in other peoples choices / judging them for it and making other people feel uncomfortable.

Stop passing comment that it's not beneficial when there's a wealth of scientific evidence that says it is.

@dopeyduck have a and take a deep breath.

I was having a pleasant and interesting chat with Snappy before you turned up, if you had read the thread you will see I have zero issue with bfing, bf myself and have ticked off posters for making ‘bitty’ jokes.

The only issue I take with the pro-bf posters is that they can be very misleading when it comes to exaggerating the health benefits. This probably upsets ff mums needlessly, so I tried to put things in perspective to show that although there is a benefit, it’s only a tiny benefit for the overall health of an individual.

Now, if you’re going to tell me anything I have said is incorrect, please show your own working out. Because merely shouting ‘you’re wrong’ ‘you’re horrible’ ‘you’re not very bright’ ‘you’re judging’, doesn’t make it true, and certainly doesn’t make what I have said wrong.

There’s a full section in the article that explains their statistical analysis. It’s not my working out. I didn’t write the article or do the research that produced the data. Sorry to disappoint.

Dopey, it says what I’ve said 🙄

I bf my last two for longer than is probably normal in the UK. Non of my family were strange about it, well actually my brother was once, but I shot him down and he had the grace never to mention it again.
Boobs are for feeding our children, at what age until is your choice.
And cows milk is not intended for humans!

Just because something has not been proven doesn’t mean it’s not true. There are also a lot of confounding factors when exploring benefits of breast feeding eg method of birth, environmental factors. Science is always making new discoveries- so who knows what we might eventually find/ understand.

However- I don’t think it’s hard science that effects people’s views on breastfeeding toddlers- people use (misuse) science to support their own arguments.

Unfortunately, society is not supportive, on the whole, of breastfeeding toddlers - and this, in my opinion is based on sexual connotations connected with human mammary glands (milk secreting glands- to give them their medical terms) and not any hard science. Why also object to a toddler calling them “boob”?

That said, OP - I think it would be pragmatic to take into account family member’s views and try and adjust were possible- for your own mental peace.

My LB is 16 months old and I plan on BF him until he's 2 because with Covid and generall virus's flying around atm I am giving him the best I possibly can. DS is currently unwell atm and he hasn't had a drink for over 32 hours. I had to take him to a and e and the reason why we could come home and not be admitted was because he is still BF so he's not dehydrated!
I feel there is a terrible attitude generally towards BF 12 months plus here in the UK and don't people just love to give their opinion on it?!!
Ok I will accept that people don't feel "comfortable" with a mother feeding her infant whilst he/she is still asking for it and I will discretely feed him when I need too when in public, but the shaming and questioning around it is quite frankly embarrassing. Ask yourself this question, WHY is breast feeding a toddler weird? What is weird about it is it because it's a breast? If so why is that weird? Is the problem not you and your need to public judge someone else for doing what they think is best?
Good for you OP! 18 months of breast feeding is absolutely incredible and do not let anyone else make you feel otherwise. BF is a dedication and it's hard work and you should be proofs of what you have achieved!

Just because something has not been proven doesn’t mean it’s not true

but it doesn’t mean it is true either. You can’t prove a negative…

Realyorkshiretea- true, I was just pointing out how science works and how difficult it can be to tease out effects when there can be multiple confounding factors. Also, a quick look at studies showed duration of a lot of the research did not extend for periods of breastfeeding over 12 months- so we won’t know what we don’t look for? Science is driven by economics- someone has to pay for the work. I can’t see society- particularly a capitalist patriarchal one rushing to do this work?
Breast milk have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years to be designed for our infant needs. It contains many ingredients - it’s fascinating and amazing. I can’t believe they are all redundant just because we can give infants an alternative sources of calcium.
No mother should be given a hard time for her choices or difficulties in establishing breastfeeding. No mother should be given a hard time for breastfeeding a toddler- it’s natural!